Chapter I: Changes:

Despite my daughter's objections I knew that she had to go back to Derby. Her relationship with John Laures was killing her and suffocating her relationship with other people. I was waiting until after my second child was born before she left, that way Emily would be seven and ready to attend school. However Emily's departure was put off for another 7 months because after David was born, I found out I was pregnant again.

When Emily finally left for Derby, John Laures had to be held back by his mother and Emily had to be dragged to and locked in the carriage. It was hard for me to send her away, but she had been so happy in Derby and I knew she couldn't stay here. Babies were coming and that would mean that there would be little time for her. At least in Derby, she had my parent's full attention and I knew that it was the best thing for her.

Emily came back for Christmas, but she was 14 the last she saw John Laures. After she left for Derby that year, she had seven brothers and sisters and I thought she was all too ready because of the noise. I missed her. I missed her smile and I missed her effect on my husband.

David Colwyn never again secluded himself from me. He was happy to take care of his children and he was happy to see me happy, but something was missing there and she was 50 miles away.

The following years brought changes for us all. I had three more miscarriages in a five year period. I knew that having another baby would be a dangerous thing, but I also knew that I had to have another one. It's wasn't for myself that I wanted it; it was for the miscarriages I had had. It was almost as if I owed them something for their death.

The baby didn't come until just before Emily returned home for good. Her schooling was over and she would find that Colwyn house life had changed beyond what anyone could have been imagined.