Chapter 1:Smileless

"Hey Ev, another case of dumping?" Sylvie, the only person in the whole world who came the closest to understanding me asked.

We were lying on the floor of her room.


"You know, its is quite freaky that you never smile or laugh." She commented.

I rolled my eyes at her. As if she didn't know what happened.

"Ok ok, it's not for me, but really, other people don't know what happened." Sylvie pointed out.

I shrugged.

"Hey Ev…." She started timidly.

"Yea?" I asked, interested. Sylvie was the most outgoing person I've ever know. She barely ever got nervous.

"Have you ever thought of um….smiling again?" She asked quietly.

I gasped at her before the sentence even processed to my head.

She looked taken back.

"I'm sorry Ev, it's just that….well….you've been dead for the past 3 years…."She hesitantly said.

I didn't move a muscle; stoned.

It took quite a while for me to get my voice back.

"Sylvie, you don't understand, well…I mean, you know what happened and all, but…you don't get it." I slowly said.

She nodded in agreement.

"Syl, it's just that every time I try to laugh or smile, I think of Him…." I whispered.

She bit her lip and said nothing.

The silence came more often these past years. Our bond just seem to get weaker each day….

"I think I better go." I stated as I left her apartment before she could say anything to stop me.

Outside it was raining. Pouring tears like the day He died….


"It's not your fault Everlyn!"

"It is!"

"It is not! We never saw it coming! No one did!"

"I did! I saw it coming! And I f-ed it up!"

"Everlyn, calm down."

"No! It's too late!"

"No it's not!"

"Really? What can I do! Nothing! You know it! You know it!"


"I know you know it! You know I'm to blame!"

"Dear….we don't blame yo-"

"You don't blame me? Yeah right. Stop lying to me!"

"Everlyn, you have to understand. You didn't kill him."

"Yes I did! Stop trying to protect me from the truth! It can't be changed."

"Yes it can-"

"Nothing I do now is going to change the past!"

"Everlyn dear…."

"Mom! Dad! Just leave me alone! You both know that it's my fault! Stop denying it! I know I killed him. It was me."

End of Flashback

Then they came. My eyes watered and rained onto the floor.

Everyone knew it was my fault, they just wanted me to feel better. But it didn't and wouldn't work. NOTHING ever worked again since I killed him.