'Through The Cracks'

:: They Called Me Stupid ::

By: Moonjava

It is often very difficult to place a child with special needs in the class room. Imagine having a child who isn't picking up the pace fast enough. Like most of his or here's class mates. Or having a hard time to write and read. This of course doesn't mean that this child has a learning disability or syndrome. However, this is what It is disturbing as to how far some parents will go. To have their child be in 'normal' class rooms and have them do certain activities that should be 'easy' for them.

Some children are not capable of completing simple tasks. I should know. I was pushed into being in the regurel school system for years. Even after I was diagnosed. When I was younger (around five or so.) My mom even went to the school board and asked them to take me out of the regular classes.

She asked them if they really thought that these classes where helpful for me, and if I was really learning any thing form it. There answer was no. I was one of those unfortunates who slipped through the cracks quite often.

While in high school I often felt as though I was in two different worlds. The 'normal world' and the one with 'learning disabilities'. People still look down at us some times like where dirty. Or just plain stupid.

I have a learning disability called Velo Cardio Facial Syndrome and have had eight magor surgeries.

I often hid my self with books and writing because it was the only form of escape for so long.

When I was in joiner high I even ate in the nurses office because the noise was so loud. Years latter learning that I am claustrophobic.

It is very easy for children in this kind of situation to get lost. No matter how much love and family support they may have. I didn't have friends for a long time. Even more so because I wasn't able to connect sentences and such. Not until at least the age of eight.

I learned things much more slowly then most people. However, I hated being reminded that I was different. I still hate it. I hate the word 'label'. Because of words like retarded I went into a shell state for years. This is all so why it took me so long to get comfortable with my sexual preferences and why I hid from the fact that I enjoy.

Because words hurt. Now matter what people think.

I like to think that I am a neat person and that I have accomplished a lot. High school years got a little bit better. However, I've all ways felt out of place. That's why I find the internet much better.

It''s strange though because I get a long with people well enough.

But after being pushed around and disappointed with the school system for so many years. I have to say I am very upset by it. I can never go to college. No matter how smart I am and I know that not every one can. It's just frustrating because I love learning and reading. I've taught my self most of things like history and etc.

Because I never leaned it in class. However, I am strong and I'm getting better at things.

The school system though for Special Education is damaging. I really wish that other students would look past old superstitions. Because if you take the time to make fun of someone and push them around.

You could instead take the time and maybe get to know them. You might find a really neat friend if you try.