A/N This story is fiction, not real. And if you don't like graphic language, self-mutilation, sexual situations, drug use, violence, and possibly more, then do not read this, it is, or at least will be graphic. But for those of you, who don't give a shit, enjoy. Please R&R I love knowing what people think of my shitty stories. 0o.

"Chapter one-Rebirth"

The blade of a razor is sharp, quickly cutting through the first layers of skin drawing blood. He uses the pain to temporarily lessen the pain he feels inside. The blade reaches deeper and deeper every time.

Chris sits on his bed contemplating suicide. The small mirror on his lap covered in cocaine and the poisonous mushrooms quickly taking effect to his brain. Pink Floyd, blaring on his homemade stereo system.

As blood dripped rapidly from the six deep cuts on his left forearm he remembered his father walking out when he was eight. Chris remembers his grandfather dieing of multiple hart-attacks and his mother crying for a year straight.

Now Chris was seventeen leaning to snort another line then dragging the blade on his forearm once more. His eyes were blood shot but he didn't care, His bed sheets were soaked in blood but he didn't care, Chris felt better for now and soon that would change. The world was spinning and he slowly drew another crimson line, a smile was faintly noticeable in his cheeks.

Chris's door was banging and shouting, "Suppers ready! Chris! Supper! Turn off the fucking music!"

"Shit." He said to himself realizing his mother might be home soon he told the door to shut up, put on his sweater, turned off his music, and lit a smoke to accompany him to the living room there he'll wait for his mother to get home. Before leaving his room, he put the mirror covered with powder in his dresser drawer, took a shot of vodka, and grabbed a joint into his pocket.

"Chris put that fucking cigarette out! Supper is getting cold." His mother yelled pointing to a cold TV dinner on the counter.

"Mom…could you shove it in the fridge for me, I'm going to go out for an hour or so-k… Later." Chris was careful not to look at Jane as he made his way to the door, grabbing his trench coat off the couch, then escaped to the freezing cold, dark street.

Chris's heart was beating in his chest and his muscles throbbed. He walked quickly with a joint on his ear awaiting a meeting with Chris's best friend Kyle.

"Kyle open up!" Chris yelled banging on the door to a small, red, brick house.

"Chris? Is that you?"

"Nope just the jolly, fucking, green giant, being deprived of a warm place to smoke a joint"

"Come in you crazy bastard." Kyle opened the door, "what the fuck happened?"

Chris looked down, his smile fading. His left hand was covered in his own blood, which was rapidly dripping from his fingertips. Kyle pulled him into the house and slammed the door.

The eight, deep, cuts in Chris's arm where bandaged up and Kyle had just lit the joint.

"Kyle is Jewel really here or am I hallucinating that radiant beauty?" Chris said staring at a beautiful young gothic girl next to him, she smiled and moved her hair from her face. Jewel was 18 and about a day ago Chris asked her out, 'I'll think about it' is all she said before today and Chris wasn't sure if he would remember if she answered today.

"Chris that is Jewel she wrapped the bandages 'round your arm for you." Kyle said slowly then added, "what the fuck are you on buddy?"

"A gram of shrooms…four or five yeah six lines of coke and a shot of vodka…" Kyle handed Chris the joint and Chris added it to the list after hooting it two or three times. "Hey Jewel." Chris handed the joint to her.

Jewel took a puff then passed it on to Kyle. "Chris if your going to cut, bandage it before you leave home, please, you could have died." She said with loving worry in her tender voice. She smiled behind black lipstick.

"Ok I'm sorry I think your right I'm a little light headed now."

"No that would be because you got fucked up today Chris." Kyle said as he pulled out a syringe filling it with an odd substance.

"What's that Kyle?"

"Jewel, hold him he's got to sober up."

Kyle stuck the needle in Chris's arm and slowly pushed the plunger in, Chris felt the de-tox liquid enter him painfully through his body.

"Bathroom now!" Kyle yelled to Chris

All the contents in Chris's stomach, was unloaded into the toilette, then ten minuets later he was passed out on Kyle's bed. Jewel lay on the bed facing him, gently stroking his hair.

"When he wakes up, Kyle he'll be 'coming down' and it'll be better for him if your not here to see him crying, so go watch a movie or something." Jewel never looked away from Chris, but Kyle understood and went to the living room to watch rocky horror picture show.

An hour later Chris awoke with Jewel wiping tears from his face.

"Are you alright?" Jewel said gently turning Chris's face to her own.

"Where…is Kyle?" Chris said, worried.

"He's watching a movie."


"Cause I was afraid it would bother you to have another guy in the room when you where 'coming down'." Jewel stroked Chris's hair and smiled. "Plus, I wanted to be alone with you, I believe I have yet to answer a question right." She added then pressed her lips to his forehead.

"Yeah, you never answered the question." Chris said as Jewel brushed imaginary lint off his chest.

"Did you think I was going to say no?" she said resting her head on Chris's shoulder. "I mean you're the only guy in the world who understands a damn thing I say, not to mention you actually listen." Jewel looked up into Chris's eyes with her dark brown eyes.

Chris melted on the inside but he was looking for all the bad, he couldn't believe this cold be happening, why wasn't anybody mad at him, he nearly killed himself. " Jewel, I'm sorry I… I can't believe… I don't deserve…" Chris sobbed and tears fell onto Jewels shoulder.

Jewel just smiled and wiped away his tears, "it's okay, don't worry." Then she wrapped her arms around him. "Everything's going to be fine, okay." She whispered into Chris's ear, soon enough Chris hugged her back, tightly and buried his face into her shoulder sobbing.

"Why do I do this, why do I feel so much pain…why."

"Listen Chris you feel pain and your going to keep feeling pain. But you got to remember that I love you and Kyle loves you and at least two or three other people in this world love you and we are going to keep loving you weather you like it or not." She pulled Chris off of her shoulder and wiped his blood shot eyes.

"What did Kyle stick in my arm, I feel like shit."

Jewel smiled and her chin quivered, Chris noticed a tear chasing eye makeup down the side of her face.


She put her finger to his lips then she gave him a long intense kiss.