"Virus"

Sometimes it crosses on my mind,

Bent back sideways, black and blue

Disaster's what you find,

When you see what's loving you.

Sometimes it hits my mind,

And that damned Achilles wrist

Finds itsself a way to anchor deep

Inside what shouldn't exist.

Sometimes I find

That in my mind

These echoes, and dreams

Are strong like wine.

And they hit me now,

Like a motherfucking truck,

When you've got me on the ground,

When you've stripped me of my luck..

And the self control's gone now,

The safehold's gone down

All I'm left with is bullshit

In this no-name town.

And the once so deep morals

Are flung out this door

I've degraded from your love

To a useless little whore.

And the temptation just hits me

And it finds all those places

Don't fucking bullshit me,

You can still find those traces

Of a day not so long ago

I felt just the same

And this guilt just won't let go,

Won't let me stay sane.

And I tried to live up

To your standards, your view

And I find that I'm just shit

Just a bitch with attitude.

And that'll never be enough

For such perfection like you,

As if you'd take the time of day

For my acknowledgements so true.

So fuck my self control, baby

Not like if even matters.

This boat is going down, baby

Not like I even matter.

Just tear my heart in peices, baby

You know you hate my guts.

Don't ever let me be your baby,

Self abuse is a must.

I tried to keep your confidence

But to your surprise, like it could even work.

And like the world's biggest barbed wire fence,

You've left me with some quirks.

Not even all the liqour, girl

Could drown out all this sin.

And the strongest drugs can't cure me,

From this cunt that lives within.

Not the deepest of your scars,

Or the prettiest of them all

I try to get to where you are,

I always lose my grip and fall.

It's as if the years gone effort

Just fall to peices now,

Am I a mistake, a mirror on the wall-

I'm just fucking rubbish to plow.

But I'm trying to hold on, now

For whatever the hell is left.

I know you won't forgive me,

No love for those bereft.

I'll try to buy your heart back,

And like me it'll always fail.

Just remember I kept my promise,

At least that hasn't fucking gone stale.