Love Anachronism

Jude Vanderhall

chapter two

I was sitting at my sister's dinner table having just finished eating, the three other couples whom I had not met before had walked away and I needed a break from the persistent pestering of Phil "from accounting" Miller. Phil had left me in peace momentarily having muttered something about a foot fungus he needed to check.

"Are you enjoying your evening?" The warmth near my ear sent a pleasant shock straight through my body. I turned up to see Mr. Nice Eyes sit himself down beside me at the table.

"Father James." I said as a greeting testing the way father sounded on my tongue, and no doubt that wasn't the only thing I wanted to test with my tongue. Again I mentally slapped myself. Thou shalt not covet thy sister's sexy priest, though shalt not covet thy sister's sexy priest. . .

He smiled charmingly. "Please just James." Pause. "I don't think I've seen you in the parish."

"Oh, you probably just missed me." I lied, not the best way to get in to a priest's good graces but what the hell.

"I think I would've noticed you." There was a slight inflection when he said "you" and I wondered if he was flirting with me. He turned away and I could see the hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. No, it was my hormones noticing things that I wanted to notice again. Damn hormones. When he turned back I smiled again, genuinely, unlike the fake smile I had been giving Jon Lovitz look-alike.

"You caught me out, I'm not a practicing Catholic." I admitted embarrassingly. It wasn't that I didn't believe in God, on the contrary, I just disliked the way that the religion had been institutionalized.

"Don't have the time?"

Oh but I'd make the time for you, I though but didn't say. "Busy schedule. I still pray like a good girl before bed. . . sometimes."

"That's good to hear. Have any of your prayers been answered yet?"

"Doubt it, I haven't had a decent lay in quite a while." I had said it before I thought about it; I had a tendency of doing that and was too embarassed to look up to Father James. When I realised the impact it could've had especially to someone who had taken a vow of celibacy I began my string of apologies.

"I'm sorry, I don't think when I speak. I just forgot you were a priest, if that makes sense."

He looked slightly uncomfortable and yet again I mentally slapped myself, my brain must've been quite bruised by now.

"That's okay," he laughed weakly. God I was freak. An awkward silence ensued and I wanted the floor to open up and eat me. I was about to attempt to remedy the situation when Phil with the foot fungus came back to "collect" me.

Later hat night after Phil had finally said he should get home and after I had stressed to him that I didn't need him to follow me home for my own "safety", I finally had freedom. I was going to murder Heather for putting me through a whole night of explanations of why accounting was sexy. Heather had forgotten about me yet again and was having a couples talk with the one remaining couple who I found infinitely boring. I retreated to their front porch and sat on the swing seat. I took off my heels with my feet and tucked my legs under me. Then I took out a desperately needed cigarette, if my stupidity wasn't going to kill me smoking probably would. It was yet another thing that Heather and my parents disapproved of.

"Do you mind if I join you?" For the second time that night I reacted in a pleasant way to that particular voice and I looked up to find Father "just call me" James holding surprisingly enough, a beer.

"Sure." I scooted over on the porch swing still with my legs under me. We settled in to a silence that was fast becoming awkward for me. "Look, I'm sorry about inside again, at the table."

He grinned. "Don't worry about it. I get a lot of sex jokes."

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, I was comfortable talking to you."

He took a sip of his beer. "I'm glad to hear it."

"I mean you're not a typical priest."

He grinned towards me and I felt my stomach flutter. Damn this priest had sex appeal. "What constitutes a typical priest, Chris?"

At the sound of my name I leant my head on the arm I had stretched out on the back of the porch swing absently playing with a stray stitch. "I dunno, you're just not it. I mean are you even allowed to be drinking that?"

He smiled and looked away as I took another drag and blew out a puff of smoke. "I'm thirty-one years old. I think I'm legal."

"No I mean, are you allowed to drink alcohol, as a priest?"

He smiled again and turned to me. "We have wine during communion don't we?"

I returned his smile, "If my memory as an altar girl serves me correctly, communion wine is non-alcoholic."

He quirked up a brow. "You were an altar server?"

"Is the concept hard to comprehend?" I laughed. "Okay so I'm not your typical altar girl. But you're not a typical priest." I nodded towards him before taking another drag, then I tapped my cigarette ash on the porch, Heather hated it but I figured that it was my payback for putting up with Phil "from accounting".

As if readingmy thoughts he asked, "So was Heather trying to fix you up with Mr. Miller?"

I laughedand my head on my elbow, feeling very comfortable in his prescence. "Unfortunately yes she was. Did I look like I was enjoying it?"

"I have to commend you on your ability to tactfully rebuff his advances."

I laughed again. "It's an art form." I brought the cigarette back to my mouth as I studied him in the dark, the porch lights weren't on and I could appreciate his finer aesthetic qualities to my heart's content.

He had a great profile with a formed aquiline nose and the hair, it was a great mess on his head. Nothing but "what a shame" raced through my head. I blew out my smoke slowly and told myself to snap out of it. He was a priest, I couldn't be attracted to him. Nothing was going to come of it not necessarily because I didn't want to do anything but his current employment very much prevented anything from happening.

Damn me, the first time in long time that I felt a genuine attraction and he was on the wrong side of altar. He must've felt me watching him in the dark because he turned and settled his beer between his legs. I could make out his features in the dark and were this a situation with anyone else, it would've been the perfect time to kiss him. But I didn't. Instead I broke the silence.

"What made you decide to become a priest?"

He shrugged. "God, I truly have a strong connection with my religion."

"Even with all the bullshit Christianity especially Catholicism has been going through?"

He smiled. "It's what made my faith stronger." A beat. "I used to be a real party animal back in my late teens and early twenties. Everything, the sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. I was going downhill, I had no direction, I had no money a lot of the time. . . I dropped out of uni. Then I woke up one night and I realised, enough."

"What made you realise?" I asked quietly, I had shifted closer somehow, unconsciously, and my arm was very much behind his shoulders. My face wasn't close to him but had I wanted to, I could've leant over and kissed him. I didn't know what it was. It was as if I was being pulled in to him by some far out sexual force.

He turned to face me his face conflicted as he answered just as quietly. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Neither of us moved but dammit the desire was there, I could feel it. I had never felt the attraction so strongly and I knew I definitely wasn't dreaming when I saw his eyes flick down to my lips, then back up to meet my eyes again. I was breathing heavily and before I knew what I was doing I began to lean in slowly, he wasn't leaning inbut he wasn't moving away either. He tilted his head slightly, perhaps instinctively,which I took it as encouragement. Then as my eyes were fluttering shut the porch lights came on and as nimble as a cat I scooted back to my side of the swing just as the front door opened. I looked to James discreetly who was also looking at me. He turned away abruptly, no doubt just as confused as I was. Heather and Andrew walked out with the couple they had been speaking to, an unassuming lady and an over-protective husband both in their late twenties.

"Oh Chris here you are, and Father James."

We both looked up to the quartet standing there regarding us curiously - no doubt Father James was feeling the heat much more than I was. I felt like we had been two teenagers caught doing the dirty only we weren't doing anything dirty even though the fantasy in my head was very X-rated. Heather looked straight at me and quirked her brow, I avoided her look and took a puff of my cigarette attempting to wipe the guilt that was probably plastered across my face. It was quite an awkward situation as we remained there on Heather and Andrew's porch in silence.

"It's late I should get back to the parish." James stood up finally. "Good night." He shook Andrew's hand and gave Heather a hug. "Thank-you for having me." Then he turned to the couple. "Nice to meet you both." He turned to me but didn't look me in the eye. "Nice meeting you." It was brief and non-committal, it was just polite.

I nodded. "You too." Then he turned and walked down the porch stairs towards an old Toyota. I watched after him as he ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner, or what appeared to be a frustrated from where I was sitting. Then he got in his car, started the engine, waved absently and drove off. Well wasn't this interesting, I was attracted to a priest. I sure knew how to pick them.

I'd like to thank my two reviewers, you made my day.