My name is Alison Matthews and this is my diary. My shrink prescribed it as a tool for self-analysis whatever that means. Let's see, this is for posterity so let me just tell you all about myself. I'm nineteen and I live with my sister, Lisa. My parents were killed when I was in school in a freak boating accident. She's twenty-five and I'm not entirely sure, but I think she hates me. Dr. Rob, that's my shrink, says that that's just me feeling guilty, but he doesn't believe me when I tell him how much she hates me. I'm also pretty sure that the good doctor thinks I lie a lot, but that's just a guess.

I finished high school six months ago and I was supposed to start school last month, but I had a really bad anxiety attack when I was getting ready for school, so instead of school I'm back at the shrink. Yippee, let me just tell you. Dr. Rob has been my doctor since I was fourteen when my parents died; well off and on. I'm not crazy all the time, thank god. It gets paid for out of my trust. Which is just an account where I have like fifty thousand dollars left of insurance money that I can't touch until I'm either twenty-four or married. Neither of which is coming anytime soon.

Let's see, what else. My sister and I live in a pretty great apartment that we own. I guess that makes it a condo, but I think that's stupid. It's still an apartment. I don't know how that stuff works really. We bought it after we sold our house. I'm not going to bore you with financial stuff, so that's enough of that talk. Mostly I'm normal or I try to be.

Today is Monday and I hate Mondays, even though they don't really mean anything anymore. I was working at a convenience store up until last week when it caught on fire and was completely gutted. The owners aren't sure they're going to rebuild so I'm on unemployment. It's a sweet deal, really. Getting paid to do nothing is certainly fine by me. Anyway, my best friend Lisa called me this morning with a crisis and so I had to drag myself from bed having only fours of sleep. I looked like shit and I knew it. I'm someone that needs a lot of sleep to actually feel good. More than eight hours, but I'm best at ten and I haven't been getting up because I have nowhere to go. I drove her to school like a good friend and stopped by this coffee place that I like.

I bought a copy of Weekly World News at the newsstand next door and ordered a mocha latte and headed towards the back. As I was reading about the latest Elvis sighting, as Dave walked in. God, he looks good in a tie. It's so not fair. Dave is my sister's best friend. He's also in love with her, but he's a super great friend to me too. He's always been there when I needed someone, when Lisa couldn't stand me.

Anyway, Dave indicated to me that he'd like to reevaluate our relationship. Not in those words exactly. I think the words went more like this. "Hey babe. I was wondering if you were doing anything later tonight. I've been doing some thinking and I'm just wondering if maybe we're on the same level." Then he looked me up and down and I giggled and he smirked.

God, Lissa's going to be so pissed.

Wait, why would she care, really? She doesn't want him, not like that. He's just her best friend. They've been friends forever, if they wanted more, wouldn't they have gotten that out of their systems forever ago. I don't know, but no matter what she'll be pissed, even if she doesn't want him. That's who she is.

Maybe I'm just fulfilling the bitchy little ungrateful sister department, but who cares. Lisa has been making life difficult for me since I was fourteen. I'm sorry that our parents died and I'm sorry that we didn't have any other relatives to send me off to, but nobody made you fight to be able to keep me.

So that was this morning and I'm getting ready to see what Dave was talking about. I can't say that I'm not totally excited, because I really am.

Tomorrow I get to see what Dr. Rob thinks of it all.

Anyway, until next time, don't do anything I wouldn't do.