I believe that there is a God and He loves me and cares about me. I grew up in a Christian household and have learned about God since before I can remember. I'd always known about God, but I had never felt a personal connection with Him. In seventh grade, I experienced horrible cramps, excessive bleeding, and abnormally long periods. I was taken to the hospital twice and the doctors were seriously considering a blood transfusion. No medicine seemed to work. Believe me; I took everything from birth control pills to Chinese herbal medicine. God healed me like He healed the woman in the Bible who believed that she would be cured of a similar problem if she touched Jesus' robe. But this story is more my parents' testimony than my own. God used me as a tool to soften their hearts. I've never told this story to anyone and became embarrassed when my parents told it. In fact, I feel a little embarrassed including such personal information, so forgive me if it seems a little rushed. Last night, when I was lying in bed, I remembered that I wanted to write an I Believe essay. After discarding many potential beliefs, I realized that my testimony would be the best belief. Although this miracle is not the central part of my testimony, I feel that my testimony would be incomplete without mentioning it and that God wanted me to overcome my embarrassment.

God understands me. He knows that I will forget a large, but instantaneous miracle. My relationship with God has always been on and off. When I need help, or after a retreat, I'll actively seek God and His will. Then the problem goes away and the euphoria fades and my prayers become shorter and more perfunctory. I needed a reminder that God is always with me, not just when I need help. God's not a soda machine. I can't just pop in a prayer and expect to receive a miracle. I've always known this concept in theory, but I become lazy and regress into one of my "off" periods.

It's odd that after such a miraculous event, I remember a seemingly insignificant occurrence so well. During one of my "off" periods, I had read about God speaking to people in the Bible. I thought, a little resentfully, how God never directly spoke to me. When I was praying, I asked God to speak to me. I paused, listening hard, hoping for a reply. To my surprise, I heard one. I heard the normally muffled chirping of crickets loud and clear. I realized that every day I hear the voice of the Creator, but I'm just too focused on other things to truly hear Him. Now, whenever I feel frustrated, I quiet my heart and listen for the quiet chirping of crickets. It reminds me that God is with me and will take care of me. Even though I still have "off" periods, I find hope in the quiet crickets' song that God is in control.

This is what I believe.