Catharsis

2

Shattered Glass

I was running.

A barren landscape stretched out before me. The cold air seared at my throat and my legs grew numb from the cold. But I had to keep running.

Or else it would catch me.

I dared not look back for fear of what I would see. The screeching was intensifying and thunder rumbled overhead ––drums beating out a battle cry beneath the heavy, grey sky.

Wind lashed against my cheeks and I saw a house in the distance, planted on an outcrop of rock. If my legs had allowed it, I would have gone faster. I reached its door, throwing my fists against wood.

"Let me in!"

The screeching grew louder. I didn't look back.

"Please," I screamed. "Let me in!"

No answer.

Scraping. A harsh, heavy scraping.

I hit the door harder. "Open the door!"

It didn't open. A bolt of lightning marred the sky. The screeching stopped and I turned. Thin, bloody hands grabbed my hair, pulling me to the ground, their nails tearing at my flesh.

Yet the door still didn't open.

I awoke, breathing harsh, jagged.

I fumbled for the lamp switch, then cast my gaze towards the curtains. It was probably morning but the velvet kept out any light. Stumbling out of bed, I pulled them open, letting sun-light flood in.

A look at the clock, then I grimaced. Half an hour until first lesson. It was times like these that I was grateful for uniform.

After brushing out my hair I got dressed, then flung my bag over my shoulder and hurried to Alice's room.

I knocked, once.

"Coming!" she called out.

After a few moments, the door was flung open. She looked at me and blinked, then seemed to realise something. "I don't have first lesson with you, but Lani and Rachel do."

I nodded. "Okay."

She smiled, came out and closed the door, then began to lead me down the corridor. Arched windows lined the walls, white light spilling from the thick panes of glass and sending patterns dancing over the polished tiles.

Students milled about in every direction, hundreds of different faces which all blurred into one another in one big, tangled mess. As we neared the classroom, I noticed a familiar figure leaning against one of the walls.

Jason.

He was talking to a teacher. She was gesticulating wildly, her face flushed. His expression remained placid as he nodded slowly to her every remark. I wondered at this as we turned the corner and Alice parked me outside of the classroom. As he spoke to the teacher he had seemed calm, patronising even.

When Alice left, I waited outside of the classroom. I didn't want to walk in on my own, so I thought it best to wait for Lani or Rachel and walk in with them. My gaze fell toward the ceiling, layers of chipped, white plaster blaring a pristine white. How did they manage to keep it so clean? It would take a really tall ladder to reach it and even then, there was so much of it that it must have taken hours to clean…

After quite some time had passed, I decided to just go in. They were probably already inside. Curious eyes fell to me when I entered and the back of my neck heated up. A few moments passed, then the noise level heightened once again. I spotted Rachel and Lani sat on one of the tables, talking to each other. Rachel waved me over.

When I reached them I leaned against the desk, smiling.

Rachel was the first to initiate conversation. "How was your night?"

I didn't want to mention my nightmares, or the screams which had haunted my sleep as soon as the light switched off and basked me in its dark glow. I didn't want to mention how homesick I felt, or the way that the shadows played over my curtains like hundreds of hands reaching in to rip me from my sleep, tear at my flesh and scrape their white fingernails across my rotting bones.

I didn't want to scare her.

"It was nice."

Silence descended. I tugged on my hair, then looked towards them. I hated silences. "Can I sit by one of you guys?"

Lani shook her head. "Boy-girl seating plans, remember."

"Which means you can sit by Lani," joked Rachel.

Lani shoved her off the table.

"Who do you reckon I'll sit by, then?"

Lani's eyes widened. "Oh. My. God."

She shared a meaningful look with Rachel.

Rachel shrugged. "He's not that ––"

"He reeks."

I looked at Lani, confused. "What are you guys talking about?"

"You'll probably get stuck sitting by Jon Meaderton," piped Rachel.

"I'm guessing that's a bad thing."

Lani sniggered. "He's really ––"

"As well as reeking, he ––"

"He's really, like ––"

"You'll find out when you sit by him," finished Lani. Rachel nodded and I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Or you could just tell me?"

"But what would the fun be in that?" replied Lani.

The bell rang. She jumped off of the table and they all shuffled into their seats as the teacher walked in. Sure enough, as Lani had predicted, I was seated beside Jon. I instantly recognised him as the one who had helped me find my way to the canteen yesterday.

Immediately, I softened. "Hi."

He was focused on his work. Looking up, he smiled. "Hello." His voice was still in the same drawl I remembered from earlier.

Judging by the way Lani had described him, I could tell that he was one of those guys who got bullied. That and his appearance furthered this theory. I resolved to be nice to him.

I swung my legs beneath the table and hummed gently to myself. I hated science; it was one of those lessons that I couldn't pay attention in and I usually blanked out. It lacked creativity ––I hated being told how things worked and being left unable to experiment with them, to change them.

I wanted to be in control.

"Answer questions two to six in the textbook." The teacher's instructions cut me from my reverie. I opened the page and grimaced. Since I'd had zoned out, none of it made sense.

I bit my lip, turned to Jon. "Jo-on."

He creased his forehead. "What?" He was already half way through four.

"Could-you-please-help-me?" I sang.

He blinked and gave me a weird look, then pushed his exercise book towards me.

"Thanks."

I copied what he had so far and gave him back his book, then peered at the questions that were left. I couldn't bother to do them. I hated any form of science with a passion and I refused to support it by answering questions.

That was my excuse.

Rachel was sat behind me. I pushed back my stool and turned around. "Having fun?"

She grimaced. "The astuteness of these questions leaves me flabbergasted."

Say what?

"What an ––" I searched for the right words. "Abhorrent predicament you have strayed upon, my dear friend." I knew my words sounded gritty even as I said them.

Rachel put a hand to her heart and sighed. "Alas, such predicaments are to be expected for one within as high a set as this."

I pushed some hair behind my ear. I didn't know what to say to that. "Indeed?"

She shook her head. "Your un-posh nature has returned. But behold," Rachel cast her gaze around the room. "The salmon does not appear to be in sight."

I faked a sigh. "Then I must escape without punishment."

"Or we could just ask Lani for the tuna. She takes it e-ver-y-where with her."

I seized the opportunity to sing. "Lani and the tuna sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S–"

"–I-N-G," she finished.

We both laughed. Jon cast a weird look in our direction, which made us laugh even more. The bell rang, signalling the end of lesson. It was break time and I followed Rachel and Lani to the canteen where we met with Jenny and Alice.

They all sat at a table. It was only made for four, so Alice shared her seat with me. I was crushed between her and Rachel as everyone began to talk; they didn't seem to notice my pain.

"Have you seen Steph's hair today? It makes her look like a rabbit," stated Lani.

"You're only saying that because you hate her," proffered Rachel.

I blinked, startled by the sudden mood change.

"Shut up." Lani's tone was biting.

Rachel stuck out her tongue. "Make me."

Alice clapped her hands together. "Ladies, please. What will Siobhan think?"

They both looked towards me, as if expecting me to say something. When I didn't, Lani continued. "Guess who Siobhan has to sit by in science?"

Rachel wrinkled up her nose. "The malodorous Jonathon Meaderton," she announced.

"In year eight ––" Alice checked to see if everyone was listening, then continued. "During the end of year party, he asked me out."

Rachel's eyes widened.

Lani shuddered.

"––and, like, you remember in the party I was wearing this really short skirt and a skimpy top? He just came up to me and he was like, 'Alice, would you like to go out with me?' and I was just looking for somewhere to run." She glared pointedly at Lani. "You were too busy hanging all over Dev, so you couldn't help me, and Rachel was off somewhere."

Rachel sighed. "The punch bowl called for me."

I tugged on my hair. "Where was Jenny?"

Jenny looked up and glared at me. I was taken aback by the sudden change in mood. An uncomfortable silence ensued for a split second, before Alice continued as if I hadn't said anything.

"And on the last day of school, I was waiting for Mr. Layton to come out of his classroom 'cause I had to give him some late coursework and, like, Jon was sitting on the wall by the classroom and he was like, 'Do you wanna come sit by me, Alice?' and he patted the wall and he had that look in his eyes. I was like 'No.'"

Lani and Rachel broke into laughter. I joined in, desperate to get rid of the awkwardness.

"Hit on by Jonathon Meaderton," stated Lani. "You can't get any worse than that."

Rachel grinned broadly. "Does he still dig you?"

Alice and Lani both shuddered in unison.

"Hope not," replied Alice. "I only have one lesson with him, luckily."

"Luckily," Lani repeated her words.

Alice nodded and opened her mouth, about to speak, but was cut off.

A voice blared over the speakers. "Attention, all students. Please go to the main hall immediately. The Headmaster has an announcement!"

I pushed back my seat and stood up. I looked towards them. They were still seated.

I furrowed my brows, slightly confused. Hadn't they heard the announcement? "Come on."

There was a split second of hesitation, then Rachel shot up and bounced towards me, followed by Jenny, Lani and, finally, Alice. Alice led the way and Lani pulled Rachel back, then whispered something in her ear. I caught the words.

"Who do you reckon it is this time?"

I blinked, bemused. What were they talking about?

We entered the main hall; hundreds of students were filing in and we took some seats near the back. There was a stage at the front and the Headmaster was stood at it, microphone in hand. From a distance I caught the ragged lines of his face, the slight stern hesitation ––yet there was still control. Stood beside him was the blonde woman from yesterday, an equally stern expression playing across her features. Was she the deputy head or something?

When he was sure that everyone was in, he called for silence. The sound was cut off, immediately, like some sort of vacuum. No-one disobeyed. But I didn't have time to consider it. He began to speak almost immediately after.

"Kiera Danley," he stated. A few hushed whispers rippled through the crowd.

"We said silence!" screeched the blonde.

The hall quietened again. The Headmaster continued as if there had been no interruption. "––has decided to go home for the remainder of the school year."

I waited for him to say further but he didn't. Again, confusion seeped through me and everyone began to file out. Why had he called a full school assembly to tell everyone that?

I looked around, searching for the girls. They had gone. Suddenly nervous, I tugged on my hair and made my way out of the hall. How could they have just abandoned me like that? I ran my eyes over the corridor, milling with students, and bit my bottom lip. I held my bag to my chest, knowing that I had to asksomeone, or else I would be late for my next lesson. I didn't want to be late. Not on my second day.

Hatred for them swelled through me.

I made my way through the corridor and pulled out my planner. It said H42. But where was H42? Up the staircase and by now there were fewer students. Most had gone to lessons. The bell rang to indicate I was late. I didn't want to ask anyone; I didn't know how to. Not again, anyway. Peering around, I noticed that the corridors were empty.

Even if I wanted to ask anyone now, I couldn't.

Panic swelled through me and my eyes scanned over the empty corridors. My bag swung in my hands, lightly, like a pendulum swinging to and fro, the pendulum of a clock.

My footsteps echoed through the corridors, beating against the polished tiles. I cast my gaze towards one of the arched windows. White light spilled from its exterior, yet I couldn't see through the glass. What was the point of windows if you couldn't see through them?

I hurried down the corridor, tugging at my hair as I passed numerous classrooms. None of them said H42. The school was massive. What were the odds that I would find the right one?

I passed a few notice boards, my eyes skimming over their contents and praying for some indication as to where I was. A name catching my eye.

…another victory thanks to a brilliant goal scored by the team captain, Kiera Danley…

Curiosity peaked, I resolved to read more, eyes skimming over her picture. She was quite tall and thin with big eyes and full lips.

I looked around, found a clock. Five minutes late and its ticking reverberated through my ears, mockingly. I would have rather just gone back to my room and stayed there for the rest of the day but knew I couldn't. Anyway, I didn't know the way.

My stomach tightened.

I was so lost.

I hurried down the corridor, footsteps quick. I passed an open door, then stopped to peer inside. Darkness met me. A staircase coiled upwards, higher into the building. Curiosity getting the better of me, I entered and started to climb.

At the top was a single door. It was already partially open, so all I had to do was push slightly. No creaking. Gold light pooled out into the darkness and I peered inside to search for its source.

I suppressed a gasp.

A large, empty room stretched out before me; the far wall was made of glass, thick panes of stained glass ––reds, oranges, yellows –– causing the room to be flooded and tinged in a faint, gold light. I realised that I was not alone.

Leaning against the glass, his hand resting over its polished exterior was none other than Jason.

My gaze wondered towards the stretch of glass above him, a wave of red and orange. I watched the cracks form over its surface; the glass shattered, scattered to the wind and pooled out above him, circling his form like a tornado. White light refracted over its edges, then tinged the red a deep, plush scarlet. The oranges mingled with the red, like short spurts of fire and his body froze, immobilized, in time.

Pretty.

I blinked, my fingers itching for a pencil. Jason's hands strayed over the glass, his expression taut, thoughtful. I had no other option but to ask him to show me the way.

Before I could say anything, though, he turned. Arms folded, back against glass, he regarded me. The light shone over his face, pooling over his irises and giving them a rich glow.

I tugged at my hair. "Hi?"

He gave me a look. "Shouldn't you be in lessons?"

"Shouldn't you?"

Shrugging, obviously no longer interested, he turned back towards the window. I realised that he wasn't going to bother trying to speak to me, so I would have to be the one to initiate conversation.

"I lost the way," my words rang clearly through.

A bored nod. His hands strayed over the glass. "Okay."

I fumed.

"Aren't you going to help me?"

He flicked the glass with his nail. "No."

I tugged at my hair. "Why not?"

"Because I'm cruel."

I sighed, agitated. "Look, I–"

"If I help you, I'll be caught ditching."

I watched him. The light shone over his hair, like a halo. He caught my gaze, then raised an eyebrow. "What?"

I grinned. "You look like an angel."

I knew it would scare him, or weird him out. It did. He gave me a weird look. "If I tell you, will you go away?"

How rude. "Yes. It's H42"

"Down the corridor, turn left and it should be along the right wall."

"Thanks."

Jason smirked. "You're ten minutes late. I suggest you run."

That was what I did. Eventually, I reached the landing and followed his directions, then stopped outside the room. I took in a deep breath and knocked.

"Come in," the voice rang in my ears.

I pushed open the door. Again, all eyes turned to me. The teacher stood at the front of the room, obviously annoyed at being interrupted ––the blonde lady. I gulped.

"Yes?"

I shuffled my feet. "I'm sorry I'm late, I –" I looked to Alice, pointedly. She didn't meet my gaze. "I got lost."

She kept her eyes focused on me. "Wasn't Alice meant to be showing you around?"

"I ––"

"And you're still late for my lesson."

Heat crept up the back of my neck. Her eyes flickered to Alice, then back to me. "Since you're new, I'll let you off. But ––" Alice again. "I want to see you in my room tomorrow break time as punishment for neglecting your duty. That is all. As for you, please take a seat." She tilted her head to the side. "You can sit by Alice, since you know each other so well."

Upon sitting down, I tugged my hair. Alice's eyes stayed on her work, and guilt welled up in my chest.

"Alice ––"

"Shut up, I'm trying to do the work."

The teacher made her way towards me and handed me a few books, then explained everything to me. "You can ask Alice for help if you get stuck," she said sweetly.

I hated her.

After a few minutes, the teacher stopped everyone and told them to put down their pens.

"You've had time to get acquainted with the text, so now it's time for some class discussion." She cast her gaze towards me. "Siobhan, since you're new, you can start us off."

I peered down at the book. "What am I meant to talk about?"

An unfamiliar voice cut through the air. "The book, duh."

A few people sniggered. I searched for the speaker.

A light smirk quirked on the edge of the teacher's lips, but she continued. "I looked at what you studied in your old school, Miss Winters, and it seems that you have covered the play in immaculate detail already." The way she said the word immaculate, it was mocking, chiding even. "Therefore, I'm quite sure you will find no difficulty in leading us in discussion."

What did she expect me to say? "What," I repeated. "Am I meant to talk about?"

She flipped open the play, skimming through the pages. "We'll start with something easy first, shall we? Since you do seem rather confused as it is, Miss Winters."

Bitch.

"The stage directions of the first page ––Priestley describes the lighting as 'pink and intimate' before the arrival of the Inspector. Upon his arrival, it becomes 'brighter and harder.' Any ideas on why Priestley gave such explicit directions on the lighting, Miss Winters?" She raised her eyebrows, challengingly

The question was easy. We both knew it. "At the beginning Priestley tries to convey a sense of warmth, comfort ––a sense of ease," I replied. "And when the Inspector arrives it's as if the characters are put under the spot light and the audience can see all the details. They can't hide anything anymore."

She smiled, acidly. "Are you taking notes, class? Miss Winters raises some valid points."

Her tone of voice said the exact opposite.

"Since you're so sure that you know so much, Siobhan, let's see how you cope with something harder." She made me sound like a know it all ––as if I were trying to outwit her; act too clever for my own good.

Again, she flipped through the pages. "The girl's name, Eva Smith; what connotations does it have? Has Priestley attempted to convey any hidden meaning by using this certain name, or did he just randomly put it in?"

I bit my lip, swinging my legs beneath the table. "Her second name ––Smith –– is a common second name, and Eva is like Eve in Adam and Eve."

"Why did he decide to use a common second name?"

I swung my legs harder. "He wanted to show how Eva Smith was like any other girl and how there are, as he says in his final speech, plenty of Eva Smith's all over England and she is just one example of the many girls who are mistreated and driven to such extreme measures as that of which Eva Smith undertook. Priestley tries to show how Eva Smith represents a high proportion of lower class women at the time and to do that he gives her a common second name." I waited.

Silence for a moment, then a reply, "Well done, Miss Winters, although a textbook could have given me an answer equally as eloquent as your own."

A few people sniggered. I reddened and tugged on my hair. She smirked. "Let's continue."

Everyone opened up their books and she began to fire questions. I felt like shrinking into my seat. My gaze wondered towards the clock. I wished the lesson would just end, the day would just end.

I wanted to go into my room ––to paint, to draw –– I wanted to forget everything because everything was going so wrong.

---

oOOo

The sky was bleeding.

Grass swayed beneath the figure's feet. It seemed gentle. The figure crushed it, the soles of its feet digging into the mud, leaving no trace of life. Eyes fell to sky and light pooled over its face, basking it in a dull glow.

The figure cocked its head to the side, and smiled.

It was nearly time.