Hi; First story. Basically, it's just a typical day for my Muses, otherwise known as Myoko and Alexei, Myo being Japanese with purple hair and Alexei being basically American with wacked out bi-colored hair. Enjoy the Insanity, folks.

Yakuza, Han Solo, And Deranged Missionaries

!#$&TheQuest For Groceries&$#!

Myōko was playing Soul Caliber 2, while Alexei watched, mildly interested. In a while, Myōko got bored of it; you can only watch Kilik die so many times in one sitting before it becomes monotonous. That being said, he shut off the console and collapsed back on the couch, long purple hair falling over his shoulder in the thick braid Alexei had done earlier.

Myōko had a rare day off, though they seemed to be becoming more and more frequent since Alexei showed up. Either way, a break was good; Myo was lounging in a pair of old beat up jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, which read ANGEL on the front. He'd had it forever and couldn't remember where or how exactly it was that it'd come into his possession, but right now it was comfy and warm and that was good. Alexei was in a pair of semi-baggy, straight-fitting jeans with a hole or two in them; he was also shirtless.

He yawned and let himself lean on Alexei, who was just happening to take an interest in his hair again.

"Hey, Myo, come here..." Alexei said in a lazy sort of tone.

"Hm?" Myo scooted closer to Alexei, who already had his hands in Myo's hair by the time he was there. "Oh." He laughed, leaning into Alexei's touch, which was really nice, massaging his scalp. The massaging eventually moved from his scalp to his shoulders and he was leaning into it and softly "mmm"-ing. When the massaging ceased, Myo turned and hugged Alexei full on.

"Have I told you I love you today?" He said, happily contented.

"Yes." Alexei said in his usual half-lidded monotone, "Seven times."

"Well, here's number eight: I love you, you beautiful, masseur-fox."

Myo gave him a nice little loving kiss on the lips. Alexei returned it.

"So…do you wanna go anywhere today?" Myo asked. Alexei was playing with his hair again, re-braiding it, arms resting across Myo's shoulders.

"Not really…" Alexei said, thinking. "…but OK. Where?" He was part way through re-braiding Myo's hair.

"Oh, I dunno… No where; just wander around…just to get out of the apartment…"

"Hmm…" Alexei finished braiding. "…sounds good to me."

"Alright…good…" Myōko stood up and stretched. "Anou… now that I think of it…we are low on grocery stuff…as a matter of fact, there isn't enough in the kitchen to do more than fry up some tuna." He turned to Alexei and shrugged. "Guess we're going shopping, too."

But Alexei was asleep. (Myo -…)


"Yeah, yeah, I know." Alexei got up from the couch, grabbing a white dress shirt off a chair and throwing it on. "Well, at least it won't be totally pointless."


Two subways and a cart later, Alexei and Myōko had managed to make it to a local grocery store unscathed. Now they were strolling down an aisle, neither really wanting to be there as both were a) lazy, b) cheap and c) bored. However, hunger more than often beats all these things and so there they were, Myo pushing a cart along, throwing things into it while Alexei tagged along behind.

"What're we eating, anyway?" Alexei asked, watching Myo toss food coloring into the cart.

"Oh…I don't care; up to you."

"Hm…no idea."

As thrifty as he was, Myōko was actually quite well off, him working for the Yakuza who paid quite a nice sum of money.

"How 'bout Chinese?"

"Ooh, a dish with a fire hazard included..." Said Myo as he wheeled around to another aisle. "Sure." Alexei followed him boredly, looking about because there was nothing better to do when he spotted a gaggle of schoolgirls, staring right at him. His first thought was that they must be autistic; the second thought was that they must just be amazed at his hair or something, them being Japanese; and his third and final thought was that they must have rabies. After this thought, he moved behind Myōko... however, they started to come forward, rather than...well, anything else; he hadn't really thought of what his action was supposed to make them do. And either way, Myōko was a couple inches short of being able to effectively hide Alexei anyway. He was really more of a barrier. Then theBarrier said,

"...Alexei, what're you doing?"

"Trying to avoid the rabid pack of bishounen hunting fangirls."

"Nan?" Myōko looked over his shoulder. But when he spotted the girls, they looked perfectly innocent...looked innocent. He turned back to Alexei, raising an eyebrow at him.

"'Rabid, bishounen hunting fangirls,' huh? Seriously Alexei, I think you have a phobia of women..." Myo smirked.

Whap. Alexei smacked him with a macaroni and cheese box.

"I am being serious." Said Alexei, in a serious tone.

"Ok, ok." Myo laughed. "Either way, what could they possibly do? They're a bunch of schoolgirls."

But Alexei had his doubts...



"Gah…This could only happen to us." Said Myōko, ducking behind the Sedan to avoid another bullet from the "rabid pack of bishounen hunting girls" who had actually turned out to be very, very, androgynous, well disguised, rival Yakuza gang members.

"Yup." Agreed Alexei. He stuck his head out around the Sedan, quickly pulling it back around to avoid more bullets.

"Hmm…10 on the right, seven on the left…" He said absentmindedly, loading a cartridge into his 9mm Beretta. He popped up over the hood of the car and fired a succession of shots, of which was too fast for Myo to count. Alexei ducked down again just in time to avoid more projectiles.

"Four on the right, two on the left." He re-counted with half a smile on his face.




"Thank you." Said Alexei, reloading the gun.

"Kuso! If I'd have known we were going to be getting in a gunfight today, I would've brought more ammo!"

Alexei reached into his shirt, apparently searching for something…

"No, that's too big for you…handcuffs…ah, got it." Alexei said, pulling a Heckler & Koch P7M13 out of his shirt and tossing it to Myōko. Myo quickly tossed his .44 Bulldog away and adopted the new automatic, putting it to good use by shooting a couple of Yakuza from around the back of the Sedan.

They had soon dispatched of the enemy Yakuza and were dusting themselves off as they stood up.

"How the hell many guns do you have on you, anyway?" Myo asked; Alexei had been rather well prepared.

"Umm…the Beretta, two H&K P7M13's and VP702, and aWalther PPK." Alexei rattled off. "Couldn't bring the Desert Eagle; too big."

Myōko blinked.

"And I suppose you still sleep with a gun under your pillow?"

"Yup; that'd be the Beretta." Alexei said fondly, casting a glance at the gun in his hand before replacing it back in his shirt. "And speaking of pillows, I could go for a nap, how 'bout you?"

Myo shook his head endearingly.

"Alexei, you never cease to amaze me."

"I know."

Myōko picked up his groceries from beside the bullet ridden Sedan's tire and he and Alexei began walking off in the general direction of home...