By: Furious Alwayz
Author's Note: You college freshmen girls, watch out for the guys. This poem is long over due, but so far I think it's blah…but once it gets reviewed and I start reading it more, I will begin to like it. That's how it usually works with my other pieces. I might later do some revisions to it to.
Summary: Maybe if I avoid him, everything…the memories, the pain, the longing…will just disappear.
Dedicated to Chey.
I see you sitting there
The light majestically shining on you
Like you're some type of angel
Enhancing your appearance
Got every nerve in my body acting delirious
I'm so fucking serious
Then you glance at me
I turn away because this is how things have to be
Because I don't know how to act when I am in your presence
(Ever want something you couldn't have?)
Since only a few weeks ago we shared a night of passion
Which caused me to have an awkward reaction
But you believe I was doing you wrong
Which wasn't entirely true
Because I was just going through the emotions
Of sleeping with a guy I barely even knew
And I didn't know you
If I did, I would have know that you were capable of the evil things you said
Making me feel so got-damned bad
But let's fast forward through the tears
That I sobbed to my peers
Past the quivering lip
"I still like you, but I don't want a relationship."
Seems like things have gotten better between us, true?
(Maybe for you)
Because from that point on we decided to be friends
Friends until the very end
But you'll never understand how much you really hurt me, friend
(Never got an apology)
So let me tell you
Rather let me show you
Can I rip out your heart and spit on it
Even better let me squat above it and take a nice long shit
Get inside my mind and feel like a damn fool
Because even after all this, I still really fucking like you
If only you knew
How I get down on my knees , praying, crying, shouting to God
Every single night
That you will feel as strongly about me as I feel about you
I am attracted to you physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.
'Cause I saw you hooting and hollering: "Thank you, Jesus?"
'Cause none of my male friends have preach about His word?
'Cause you said you wanted to deal with me spiritually?
But probably that was just your fancy way of saying: "Let's just be friends."
Till the very end, correct?
Remember when you were small
You stood on a chair to reach for that toy on the top shelf
If only you had been a little taller
You would have gotten it
Let me stand on friendship to see if I can reach relationship
Let me stand on hurt to see if I can reach heal
Let me stand on me and you fucking to see if I can reach undo the past
If I continue to avoid you
Ignore my hurt
Deny my want
Forget the past
They will go away
And that will be the day
I will be tall enough to reach for my "high" self-esteem
So no one will ever do me wrong
I will look down and see
That I won't be standing on you
Since that definitely ain't the key
I will be standing on
My very own two feet