4decomposition
hello stranger.
you aren't so strange.
everything you despised
wrapped in steely blue neurons
(despairing, chemical)
implanted in your vast, wildflower field
by the master farmer himself
i know what you've become – the emotions
foam and seethe, crushing. suffocating.
the superego, the ego, and the id
your similarities are repulsive
"i just want you to feel anger"
yeah, fuck you too.
surrounded
surrounded
stealth & mechanic, they line up in rows
perfect (i crave), null, void
the whites of my eyes glimmer –
save your bullets for the prisoners
i am stronger (whispered afterthought)
outnumbered, outsmarted
what once was mine and the two headed boy
vision construed by black and white
(oh comely, our father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name)
and forgive us sinners never;
our crimes are scrawled in blood
suppressed morbidity
this is fucking déjà vu,
the red and white of the carnival banner
i am michael, i am im(ex)ploding
and i am shuddering. because you,
my precious stranger,
are everything i've ever known to love
refracted glass slivers counter mirror-image
sitting on the ceiling, sliding
i'm slipping and clawing and she wants to die
(screams in her sleep, memories of the
many.)
restrictions and strangers and lovers and fuckers
who are you, who are you
i miss who you were (epitome of desperation)
"please come back to me" she is alone.
ten years of swing sets; be it so revealed,
how much you
can't stand to love the ugliest word
can't bare to hate me, you have to hate me
follow the leader – he is melancholy,
he is the deadliest of winding roads
and you are a sailing ship on oceans black
splintered vessel with a misty-eyed first mate,
but it's too late to cry over a spilt milky way.
and if i wanted anything right now
it'd be four point five pounds
and a human i could trust.
you're all the fucking same
so hello there, stranger.
i don't know you anymore.
a/n: there are several references to the band Neutral Milk Hotel as well as the book The Chosen by Chaim Potok. both the book and the band had a heavy effect on my life at the time, which is probably why they showed up in my writing. just a little tidbit for you.