When Love Leaves

Time turns on itself when love leaves you

There is no trace of what you used to define as space

Anger at the betrayal, tears for the lost possibilities

Nostalgia will cloak you in black or white.

What did you ever see in them, should have seen the signs!

Why couldn't they see all the sacrifices, and did you really make enough?

It's in the smile and the eyes, the word play and sharing of information

It's how the weaknesses were seen as their strengths or a temporary darkness

Laughter at stupid humor, inside jokes and imitating their eccentricities

It's the push to help them be the best they can be, to help them help themselves

But also a longing that they see all the gifts you give them, secret wishes of reciprocity

Their voice becomes a joyful song; their promised touch starts your heart even as it stops it

No yes no, go stop go, leave stay leave, hating you for making me miss you

I want to be free of you, but I don't know how to free myself from you

I want to tell you how I helped you keep your free will, like God gave you choice

Even if that choice meant to no longer be with me, to even jump headlong into lies

I cannot be the teacher and do your homework at the same time, or vice versa

I left you to let you live your life; you left me with the direst curse on your lips

God, grant me peace of mind and heart from what I cannot have

Except please help me to fight for it till the bitter end

Help others before me, but don't leave me swinging in the wind

Don't let me charm the birds out of the trees, leaving their nests

Let me instead give them wings you hope we all can have.