Why is there so much I just don't understand?

Why won't anyone talk to me?

I don't get it. I really really don't.

I'm tired of being ignored.

Tired of being told to "just relax"

Tired of everyone saying anything

I just want to lie down

And tell myself it's okay.

But it's so hard to make them

Understand what's going on

Inside my heart.

I love my family o so much,

But, I wonder, do they love me?

Do they really care that I don't understand?

Do they care?

Does it matter to them if I were to take a knife

And drive it deep into my heart?

My friends say it would,

But the amount of times that I get yelled at

Just for little things makes me wonder.

I just don't understand.

I don't understand why people don't care

Whether I pass or fail.

They're too worried about my brothers

They're too worried to care about me.

I just don't understand.