If We Ever Meet, I'll Tell You This…

There is silence in her smile
Yet no joy in her face

For all she ever wanted
To know and have
You took away,

Leaving an empty ache
That only a father could fill
But never cared enough

About his wife to find the
Truth that she was faithful.

No, he only cared for music
And clutching the reigns of his deceit
That if he went to California
He would make it big.

Did you ever get there?
And disappear among the
Dreamless cowboy souls
Who ask for coins in their worn out hat?

Or did you play your old guitar
In one more smoke-filled, crowded bar
Without accompaniment?

While my mother
Nearly bled her life away
In giving birth to a child
Your daughter

Me.

Nov. 11, 2005
For my birth father

When we actually meet,
I pray this will not hurt as much
As the poem now conveys,
For I have forgiven you.