ONE- Thanks For The Memories

"Who the hell are you? Where the fuck am I?"

These are strange and shocking words to hear when first waking up. But being myself, and the lothario that I am by nature, these words said from the naked woman lying across from me in my bed were all too natural; words that I became used to from several bland, ordinary one-night stands. Before I answered the woman's question, I lifted the blanket that covered me, and looked down at my crotch area. Condom, check.

I turned to face the woman next to me, and smiled, "It seems that we've just had sex with each other. However, I don't think I raped you, and you're not pregnant, I used protection. I think we both got a little over ourselves, and now we're here, in my bedroom." I tried to sound as calm as possible, which I was. It was all simple procedure. Every time I find a woman I don't know or recognize on my bed with me, I give them what I like to call "The Morning-After Speech." I got out of the bed, and grabbed a towel from my drawers to cover up my pelvic area. "I'm going to shower up. When I'm back, I expect you to be out of this apartment and back home. Do not tell anyone about this. Thanks, I'm sure last night was a marvelous experience and my biggest wish is that I could have been sober enough to remember what it was like. Goodbye."

Honestly, I didn't care to see the look on the woman's face before I left to my bathroom, not even a split-second glance. Their reactions and initial feelings were all the same: a combination of shock, confusion, and an uncanny stickiness in their vagina. Okay, well, the last one isn't really a feeling, but you get the picture, right?

Well, there you have it, the life of a typical womanizer…erm, scratch the typical part. I believe that nothing in the world is actually "typical." Sounds kind of gay and repulsively optimistic, but it's the truth. But anyway, back to my daily life. It's not all about taking a girl home and telling her to leave the next morning and the phone calls to Schneider. Well, at least at the time, it was the same thing, but at one point in my life, the outlook changed, and women weren't just women, and the sky wasn't just blue, and everything seemed to fall into place, and the entire world seemed to be in the proper perspective. That's not to say that that point in my life was entirely happy; it did have the misery, the strife, the tears, but it seemed different for once. For example, for once I actually felt bad when the women cried the morning after.

Basically, you are about to read the story of the aforementioned point in my life. It may be interesting to you, or it may be just the opposite. However, collectively, it has enough surprises to hopefully keep you reading, and being a womanizer, you have to be ready for surprises (oxymoronic: if you're prepared for a surprise, it's not a surprise anymore, right?), and you have to stay out of your comfort zone and not be in the know of things. I'm Brody Buckley, and I fuck women for a living.

I walked out of the bathroom after I finished my shower, still half-naked with a bath towel wrapped around my lower half. The woman from bed was still here, standing across the hall and in nothing but her bra and panties.

"I said that you would be gone once I got done with my shower. You're still here. I think I made myself clear." I said.

"We can't talk about this? About what happened last night? I'd like to clear at least some information up before I just take off and leave." She said. Black hair and brown eyes and, bluntly put, not all that attractive. Oof, shame on me, I thought. What was I thinking picking up this girl?

I walked back to my room, she followed, "I have to change, so give me a second. Excuse me." I shut the door to my room and left her outside as I reached over to my closet, getting dressed. I yelled through the door to the girl, "There's really not much to talk about, you know."


"We met, got drunk, had sex. We don't know each other. Your typical one-night stand. There's really nothing else to it." I put on a pair of jeans.

"Well, at least tell me your name, or something."

I put on a tight T-shirt, "Brody. I don't really care to know yours." I opened the door. She was still standing there.

"I'm Natalie, and are you always this nonchalant to every girl that you fuck or am I just not good enough for you to really care to know anything about me?"

"No. You just have a small rack."

"I love how heartless you are."

"You know, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a couple of errands to run, so you need to put your clothes on and leave pretty soon. Like I said, I'm sure you were great, and maybe we'll see each other around." I said as I put on my jacket. I brushed past Natalie and headed towards to front door of my apartment.

She scoffed lightly before going back into the bedroom to get herself dressed. She came and met me at the door, "Someday you'll know how it feels when you just blow off people like you're doing with me and you'll be the sorriest bastard ever. All you have are looks and that's it."

"You're cute. Get out."

Natalie gave one last dirty look before slipping on her shoes and leaving with the same, constant look of loathing in her face. Honestly, the frowning made her look better. Poor woman, I think sleeping with her may be the first thing that I regret in my life.

The running errands part was a lie. All I do is sit at home, living off paid vacation dollars that come in by the suitcase. Mooching off parents makes things so much easier. It leaves so many of the littler things in life to be appreciated and explored, without worry getting in the way. For example, having sex with women on a nightly basis and doing nothing else is such a "little" thing in life.

Oh, I'm sure that I'm living life in a repulsive, hideous way in your opinion, but you've never been in my shoes and probably aren't lucky enough to ever be in them to really experience things. So, all I can say to you is: Piss off, you're just jealous.

A/N: I'm really sorry that this is an EXTREMELY short chapter, but I've decided that this is a good start for the rewrite. I'm thinking of rewriting the ENTIRE thing, so a whole new plot, but maybe the same women (Mallory, Marcy, Ruby).

I'd like to welcome any new readers that haven't read the original, and that you haven't missed much, because this is entirely new. Thanks for reading!