A/N This poem is fictional, but please let me know what you think…
"She never was and never will be…"
I dive into the pages of a book I never wrote,
And get lost within a life for which I could never hope.
I live within a fantasy, of which was never mine,
and submerge beneath the mysteries of someone else's time.
My mind is trapped with a prison – a lock for which there is no key.
No sand within the hour-glass to fill and nourish me.
I linger in the doorway as my soul cries "deliverance"
- fall upon torn sanity, tribute to world tolerance.
All I want is an escape, a window for my fears,
a place for all my thoughts, where I can dry my tears.
So I find myself a person, that I can be instead,
One without a life they wake up to find they dread.
Though truth is all too cruel, I'm a tool for its abduction,
Never ceasing games of minds, a pawn in its destruction.
And once the story ends, I crash back to reality,
My burdens and my anguish are once again bestowed on me.
I look into the mirror and see myself reflected there,
and the hoards of faceless strangers who always stop and stare.
My reflection is a thing I no longer want to see,
This girl within the mirror I no longer want to be.
Hurt her, break her! Just make her go away!
But, reflected in the blood, she smiles. This girl is here to stay.
The weight of expectation, bears down heavy on my limbs,
And folds in upon my smile, the light continually grows dim.
I know you're disappointed; you don't have to yell so loud!
Your coldness doesn't rank with mine; hard to believe you could be proud…
If coldness was your paintbrush, black your love decease,
if disappointment was your canvas, I'm your greatest masterpiece!
You don't give a damn for me, I often wonder If you ever
Though the thought often makes me cry, I won't break down for you, no never.
I'll turn these tears upon myself, I'll use them to be stronger
and one day you will fear my wrath, I am a child no longer!