When they work, long distance relationships
are the best sort of beautiful, I think. That a
person could wait months, cross miles and
oceans for a few short spectacular moments
with the person they love, that's it, you know,
that's what we're all searching for.
- Beau Taplin
Epilogue: Documentation for Keeps
rothsgonzalez: I don't understand why I'm doing this. I'm looking at my phone right now – a phone with which I could call you and hear your voice – yet you want to do this over private chat?
plainjanejami: I wanted documentation, I can't really document phone conversations as well as I want.
rothsgonzalez: So is this all going to end up in your journal?
rothsgonzalez: What if I decided right now to go on a spiel about kissing you or described what I one day hope to do with you in bed?
plainjanejami: You think about me in bed?
plainjanejami: I don't know how to feel about that. A part of me wants to giggle, while another part of me is blushing.
rothsgonzalez: Sounds about right. So why the documentation?
plainjanejami: I am a journal-er now, I want to journal everything and I started my journal keeping career writing about you and how I felt about you. How those feelings changed and grew – it feels wrong to leave out our actual relationship.
rothsgonzalez: ...Did I just become a happy ending to your tale?
plainjanejami: Not exactly, more like a very happy middle.
rothsgonzalez: See, if we were on Skype you could see the smile that that wrought.
rothsgonzalez: And then you could fall down some more.
plainjanejami: I knew you figured that out!
rothsgonzalez: I'm not an idiot and it was getting really obvious...and weird. How long do you think my smile will be effecting you like you're some kind of virgin from a'50s sitcom?
plainjanejami: I feel somehow insulted and I can't quite place why...
rothsgonzalez: I don't want to break my girlfriend just because she makes me happy.
rothsgonzalez: You're smiling right now, aren't you?
plainjanejami: Girlfriend. I love it. Roth Socorro Gonzalez – past terror of my childhood, best friend of my heart – is my boyfriend.
plainjanejami: ...too cheesy?
rothsgonzalez: Nope, just needed a minute to grin like an idiot. It's not every day a guy leaves the friend zone and enters the holy land of dating the girl he loves.
rothsgonzalez: I know you want me to spell it out for you, so here: I love you.
plainjanejami: I love you too.
plainjanejami: I love you too. :)
rothsgonzalez: Seriously, why can't I just talk to you?
plainjanejami: I want documentation and I'm also still grounded from the telephone – Aunt Trish says it shouldn't be such a hindrance for me, since I can't find the time to call people when I really need to anyway. She also has decided that I'm not allowed on buses anymore, but I'm not sure how that's going to work out since school's too far away to walk and I don't own a car.
rothsgonzalez: She was just scared, she'll calm down.
plainjanejami: Yeah, well my psychology teacher is also angry – he's assigning me extra homework and I think if he could have me stand in a corner in class, he would.
rothsgonzalez: He's your future uncle, he was scared – he'll calm down.
plainjanejami: He proposed by the way. Finally! It was while I was away, apparently he told Aunt Trish that he felt like he was already her family and he hoped that she'd allow him to become a true part of her world. I'm pretty sure it's the only reason she hasn't tried to kill me: she's both super excited and super angry, she can't focus completely on one.
rothsgonzalez: I like him.
plainjanejami: Me too.
rothsgonzalez: Not the hugest fan of the fact that he seems to know a ton about me, including how I kiss, but I like him.
plainjanejami: It was homework!
rothsgonzalez: You were using the journal to bond and you know it.
plainjanejami: I want him to like me.
rothsgonzalez: Who wouldn't like you?
plainjanejami: Okay, I wanted him to love me and be eased into my weirdness.
rothsgonzalez: Still feel like a sacrifice – you realize for the rest of my life I'm going to have to talk to this man. This man that knows more about me than I know about him.
plainjanejami: He was your teacher too.
rothsgonzalez: Yeah, and while he was my teacher he never learned about the fact that after your first period you decided that eating raw meat was the only way to get back your nutrients.
plainjanejami: ROTH SOCORRO GONZALEZ, you promised to never mention that again!
rothsgonzalez: It's weird enough that I even know that. You realized that, right? What boy wants to learn about a girl's menstrual cycle?
plainjanejami: I tell you everything. Apparently.
plainjanejami: Would you like me to stop?
rothsgonzalez: It pains me to admit it, but: never.
rothsgonzalez: I even want to know all the boring and gross stuff.
rothsgonzalez: I'm pathetic.
plainjanejami: You are not. You are lovely.
rothsgonzalez: What if I bought you a cell phone?
plainjanejami: Why are you so against IM?
rothsgonzalez: I miss the sound of your voice.
rothsgonzalez: Actually, I miss you PERIOD. But since you aren't at Harvard with me, you have another semester of high school to go, and then you're going to Simmons College – I'm going to have to get used to not having you right beside me.
plainjanejami: We can easily visit when I'm at Simmons College.
rothsgonzalez: And before that, how about a Skype account? And a cell phone?
plainjanejami: Rest of your life, huh?
plainjanejami: You said that for the rest of your life you're going to have to talk to Mr. A, with him knowing more about you than you know about him.
rothsgonzalez: Your point?
plainjanejami: Think we'll last forever?
rothsgonzalez: I have loved you for seven years – longer, most likely, but that's when I finally put a name to the emotion. I can love you for seventy more. I'm in this for as long as you'll have me.
plainjanejami: That's not fair! I know that if we were talking you'd say that in a totally nonchalant way! Like how you'd mention that you should really be doing your homework!
rothsgonzalez: I should really be doing my homework...
plainjanejami: Meanwhile I'm here, a crying mess, because you're envisioning forever.
rothsgonzalez: ...Aren't you?
plainjanejami: Of course I am! But that's what girls' do!
rothsgonzalez: Meanwhile guys are supposed to be noncommittal?
rothsgonzalez: Sorry, not going to happen with me.
plainjanejami: I'm totally okay with that.
rothsgonzalez: And I really should be doing my homework – which I could do while talking to you on the phone, but can't really do while facing a computer screen.
rothsgonzalez: I need to focus if I'm going to provide for us, since you'll most likely be going down the road of 'writer' and from my research, it's not the most stable profession when it comes to getting paid.
plainjanejami: ...How'd you know I want to be a writer?
rothsgonzalez: Because you've been writing constantly and are still keeping a journal.
plainjanejami: 1) How can you once again act like looking towards the future that far isn't a big deal? 2) Yes, I want to be a writer – I think a novelist. 3) I love you dearly.
rothsgonzalez: 1) Not that big a deal. 2) Am I supposed to be surprised? I'm not. 3) I love you too.
rothsgonzalez: I also love being able to say that without any fear.
plainjanejami: …I'm going to get a cell phone as soon as possible, I swear. I miss the sound of your voice too. But I'll still want to document some of our conversations.
rothsgonzalez: And a Skype account, don't forget that.
plainjanejami: Yes, yes: I miss your face, too.
plainjanejami: Enjoy your homework.
rothsgonzalez: Enjoy writing in your journal.
plainjanejami: Love you.
rothsgonzalez: Love you too.
rothsgonzalez has signed off.
plainjanejami has signed off.
A/N: Didn't know exactly how I wanted to end it, but also had the vague idea it would be the two of them just talking to each other. Just feeling out what their new relationship was like: how far they could tease, how earnest in their love the other one would allow, how honest they'd be, and their views on the future. I totally think they can make it, since they have been such a huge part of each others' lives.
This has been a wonderful time and I feel kind of bad, since I wrote these last three chapters in quick succession (I wanted to finish this story as a kind of birthday present to you guys), so I don't have any reviews/notes to respond to. I read them all and smile – your words mean a great deal to me. This is my dream, you know. Being able to get my stories out to others – people other than my family, who kind of just smile politely and then ask why I'm not published yet – has been a wonderful experience. I will forever be thankful to this site for such an experience and thankful to all of you for taking part in it with me. This as been a long, (loooong) journey and I am both happy and sad to be at an end.
I don't know, it was kind of comforting to know that I always had a story waiting for me and hopefully readers to read what I had to write. Now? Now (after finishing up my Secretive stories) I'll be venturing off into a totally new sphere. It's going to be...scary.
But I really like challenges.
In fact, writing romances was a challenged I laid down on myself over a decade ago.
Thanks for being a part of that and thanks for being a part of some of my first steps towards being a writer. And as always: THANK YOU ALL FOR READING!
Now to see if I can log onto my account and actually post this while it's still my birthday.