The chair is placed in the middle of my bedroom and I work my way over to it, sit down and then realize it's not in the middle of the room, but in the corner. It would be pitch black where I am but someone left the bathroom light on at the end of the hall and I'm not about to go turn it off.

I look over at my bed and it looks so comfortable, but it's so far away from me. I sit there and convince myself that the chair is more comfortable so I stay put.

My left bicep starts to tighten and, when I look down at it, I realize I'm injecting myself with more heroin. I don't even think I feel like more, but my hands have a life of their own by this time. The walls start to shake and I swear someone's talking to me but when I move my head to see who it is, they're gone and everything's still. Silence is the scariest sound you'll ever hear.

Someone's standing in my doorway, but the light at the end of the hall is masking their face. I'm scared so I don't say a word and hope they just don't see me but they more than likely do and are ready to end my life.

" You okay, man? You look strung." It's my roommate...of course it is...who else would it be? God, I need to pull it together. I nod and he leaves my room but not before scratching his ass and saying , "Night, man." I try to say goodnight back, but throw up instead. That's great : He turned around because he thought I had said something and now he's just staring at me losing my yesterday's lunch and he's saying, " Duuuude...what'd you eat? Jesus." I want to yell , "Go away," but close my eyes and wish it instead.

My phone rings and I say, " Hello," but haven't actually picked up the phone. It stops after 3 rings and, of course, whoever it was didn't leave a message and yet they'll more than likely get mad when I don't call them back. Now the ringing sound keeps repeating itself inside my head and the room starts to swirl around me. Am I swallowing my tongue? ... Guess not.

Something's crawling around my feet and I try to kick it away, but it's just air. I'm losing it. Someone save me from myself. It's at my feet again and this time I'm sure. I reach down and grab whatever it is : I'm holding a snake. It looks back at me and says, " You look like hell. Get some sleep." I say thanks and throw it out the open window.

My roommate's back and he's asking about some pot pie he found in the freezer and if it's mine. Instead of answering him I throw up and he's disgusted more than he was the first time. "I'm going to eat it," he says. " I doubt you'll remember." He's gone and I want to move out.

I make my way over to my bed and it feels like the hardest thing I have ever done. As I'm getting closer to my destination, I see something in my bed moving around. If I had to guess I'd say it was a girl. I lean in and say, " Hello? Do I know you?" and the girl jumps at me, her face deformed and her nails longer than her hair. She's screaming something about redemption. I fall to the floor and swing at anything that's in front of me. When I open my eyes, she's gone and I'm hoping my roommate hadn't walked back in to see if I still wanted the Coke I had put in the fridge earlier.

When I stand up, I look at my pillow and think of how comfortable I'll be when I just lay down. I throw up one more time and then lay down in it and fall to sleep.

I swear, tomorrow will be the first day of me being clean. Wish me luck...or don't.