The Drabble Retort

If one has paid close attention in the last few days, the products of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) are pouring in. While not a deluge, these fifty-thousand word single chapter entries have been crowding out other entries for the attention of the readers. Many of these are complete stories, and they're often well over the minimum for NaNoWriMo.

The faux-urgent rhetorical questions are, how are we procrastinating slackers who seldom update supposed to compete? How do we defend our happy status quo from these insurgents without working much? How do set a hurdle low enough to feel good about ourselves in comparison to the NaNoWriMo workaholics?

The answer is to cater to a consumer society afflicted with a fleeting memory. Luckily, commercial television and the magic of the radio edit has provided a consumer base with an attention deficit. Next, we must find a mechanism to exploit it. Luckily, the British Scifi geeks of the eighties supplied us with the perfect format; the drabble.

The drabble, one of the most persistent crazes of our time, sets the bar at exactly one hundred words. Competitions exist all over the world, so many the readers already understand the concept, and may have event taken part. Jolly good, then, you're ready to take part.

This is the part where the reader learns the timeframe for the worldwide events planned. It is common knowledge that many ordinary people are gifted with the capability to type at one hundred words per minute. Even those that can't type correctly at this speed can manage when pressed to produce quantity at the expense of quality. Therefore, the author proposes that the writers of this site take part in pushing back the threat of NaNoWriMo with an event matching our abilities, National Drabble Writing Minute (NDWM).

This is where the reader will want some points clarified. When is it? In one minute, of course. The minute will be at noon on New Year. Does the author actually expect people to take part? The answer is an affirmative. Pretend there has been a national tragedy. This works best in a non-utopia. Now, imagine your nation's leader calling for a national moment of silence. Now it isn't very difficult to imagine millions of people doing the same thing at one time. By picking the first day of the year, the author will have made it freshly clear that simultaneous events occur all the time, for just twelve hours before, they'll have witnessed millions shouting the same message at the same time.

Finally, you'll want to know if you're allowed to revise your drabble. Of course! Don't worry about capitalization, spelling, or grammar in your one minute of furious typing, these things will only slow you down. You can always edit your drabble during National Drabble Editing Hour, which immediately follows the closing of NDWM.

Here's where the reader learns how to enter. First, the contestant must announce a willingness to take part by leaving a review. The only information one must leave is the time zone one wants to be judged in. Second, each contestant must link to the origin of this event. This can be done by marking either this author or this entry as a favorite. Once this this two criteria are met, this account will list the contestant in his profile page. This is done because his favorites list cannot hold more than one hundred members.

Now, the reader must wonder how one wins. The answer is that everyone that finishes a drabble will be declared a winner in the author's profile page. The registry of winners will be listed until National Double-Drabble Writing Quarter Hour on February second (at midnight).

This was much funnier in concept.