in my stupid mind can I never find the words replacement?
The moving on away from all those who have wronged me is gone
Have I become so full of pain that I crave it like an addiction?
Not sinning, but waiting for sins
Waiting for the exact moment that I am brought away from salvation
Wanting to punish all those who have hurt me
Wanting to punish myself
My stupid heart for beating on when I've been telling it to stop
For the stupid dreams that plague me with their vague foretelling
Bullet through the filled up brain
Splatter my blood like the surging of pain through my neck and skull
Trying so hard to be heard
There is no one there to hear it
Writing in a world illiterate to my message
Being in a world better off without me
Have you no shame for being nice to me
Be evil so I can hate you instead of hating how I love you
Show me your true form so I can turn away

Oh why do I torture myself with thoughts of you?
Oh why do I dare to love you?

Wrote this when I was feeling really crappy about things. Found it and have come to the conclusion that I still feel crappy. Lol, feedback welcomed.