Self-reflection: Hopeless/Loveless


I had gone to war with love itself!

Armor less,

Without a sword,

Or a shield,

Ah! What a fool I was,

Utterly defeated!

My mind shamed

My heart defiled!

As love struck me with

Its sword, utterly plundering

My already bleeding heart!


Can anyone be crueler?!


It had raped me!

Sodomized my very soul!

Taken everything

That made me strong

Taken everything-everything!


Now I walked unto life naked,

Vulnerable and weak


Why?

Why is it that my feeble existence

Still walk in this life

How I wish nothingness will shelter me,

From love's constant mockery

Of what I have become,


A broken marionette


But alas!

This is not so

I shall hope no more,

I shall dream no more,

For in reality I shall continue

With my suffering


Hail to love!

The great conqueror!

The supreme Divider!

Of the mind and the heart

Of logic and of feelings

Of reality and fantasy!


You made me smile

You made me hope

You made me dream

You made me LOVE!


And yet

You broke me into

A thousand fragments!


Broken smiles!

Broken hopes!

Broken dreams!

Broken LOVE!


I cannot even piece myself

Together!


How utterly gullible I was!


How selfish of you!

You who had all the smiles

All the dreams and hopes

You who had all the experiences

Of being loved and of loving back

You did not even gave me a chance

To love you!


But how can I blame you though?


If that is so

Then love may have conquered even you

If that is so

Then love may have broken you


Just like me, a broken marionette

But alas, you stand proud

You bore the scars and wounds love had given you

With great dignity and pride

While yet I who had been strong without love

Retract in pain and shame

At the sufferings love had given me

How foolish-utterly foolish


I shall retreat disgracefully

And let silence engulf this mind

Forever

Woe to me

Conquered by love

Now, nothing more than an empty

Wraith


And to you I show my great

Respect

One who has conquered love!