Maze

Well, that was the wrong turn…..

At least, it is highly probable that it was the wrong turn…...

Interesting….

Very interesting.

Alex Brigham (common name, common person) wondered through the labyrinth, (For those of limited vocabulary, remember the game?) at an amusingly odd pace, lost in its complexity and depth. It has been five hours twelve minutes and sixteen seconds to be precise since he had entered through the front gate, a small entrance decorated in little pink flowers and fat plastic garden gnomes.

"Damn." He stated, once again, looking at his old Burger King watch. Five hours, twelve minutes and twenty-five seconds. Time sure flies by when one is having fun. Of course, one had to take into consideration if wandering through a supposed endless maze was fun. Maybe those chess nerds would consider it a large challenge worthy of their attention. Pondering this for a moment, Alex withdrew this thought as his memories of his eight-grade school year and chess club came to mind.

"Stupid little green bushes and dirt!" Alex exclaimed. Actually consider this exclamation more of a paraphrase, as I did not feel obliged to write the dirty things Alex would have been exclaiming while my mother was doing paper work behind my back. Consider it a masterful rendition; analyzed and perfected to best suit the reader. Well back to the green bushes and dirt…. " Does it never end? It goes on and on and on and on and on! It's worse than the energizer bunny…and I can't believe that I just said that. And I can't believe that I am now talking to myself. Well if I am going to talk to myself, I might as well talk to myself about something important."

Labyrinths were well known by the Greeks to drive one mad. So were nymphs, faeries, Socrates, and talking armless statues. It is what I considered started Black Comedy. All of those poor Greeks needed to a way to laugh off their horrible experiences with the happy sprites of the forest. I once wanted to be a sprite. That was before I started pursuing a career as professional ninja who could throw knifes. Didn't work out that well. The knife throwing part I got. It was the stealth and fitness part (along with the ability to speak an Asian language) that I seemed unable to master. Pity.

"George Washington is not a superior, outstanding commander. Yes, I Alex Brigham will now talk to myself while stuck in a maze about the ignorance of the American public and how they truly believe that George Washington was an outstanding commander. Good topic. Good topic. I feel pretty strongly about this subject. I once had to write an important essay on this poor old man. I mean, come one! He lost practically ever battle he fought! He chose bad commanders! He had no formal education! It makes me sick thinking about him and how our society has turned him into something like a titan. When I get out of here, I am writing a letter of complaint to the author of my history book, along with every other cozy historian sitting in their library and do little segments of the history channel. That is, when I get out of here…."

Five hours, twenty-one minutes and five seconds.

At this rate, Alex may be once again forced to verbally discuss his feelings about solar cookers and Africa.

"Damn."