Belief is a powerful thing. It can be a weapon. It can be a saviour.
There are stories told of people being saved from certain death by their unmovable belief that some...*thing* is going to save them. There are reports of a person manipulating hundreds of people because they believe in him.
There are many beliefs. What I am about to tell you may be classified by belief for those of you who wish to regard it that way. To me, It is the truth. Hard, factual truth.
If you can't handle another person's truth, then maybe you need to grow up.
Some of the most widely-known questions are "Why am I here?" and, "What is my purpose in life?"
The answers? You are here because you want to be. You are here to learn. That is your purpose. For as one learns more, they evolve, they age and become more aware of what they truly are.
Another question, is what happens after death. To answer this question, I should first explain to you where you come from.
Imagine a ball. A massive, glowing golden ball. This ball is pure energy, made up of a multitude of thoughts, feelings, ideas, ambition...it is, in short, the beginning.
From this blazing mass, come forth what can be known as entities or consciousness. They are new-born, know nothing of their existence or their surroundings. They want only one thing. To learn.
If they learn, they can discover new things, gain new insights. That is what drove them from the communal light, to strike out against the cold harsh reality.
They are born as a human. Human that is, in body only. It is a container. A vessel. A machine to assist them in learning, moving, interacting. These new-borne often become assimilated in their physical bodies.
They forget what it was like before. They forget everything they came to do, too caught up in the day to day ritual of living.
It is only when their vessel fails that they remember. As their consciousness slips from the machine they inhabited, they remember the light. And the light beckons to them.
You need to understand that the light is intense. The compulsion one feels to once again merge with it is incomprehensible. To feel complete once more, to rest after being on one's own for so long.
This is the point where so many new-borne fail. Because once they've merged again, they will never come out the same. If they ever emerge, it will be as a random part of something else. A piece torn away and sent off.
I was twelve when I remembered.
I was having a nap in the afternoon, out in the lovely green grass at my grandmother's farm. Relatives from near and far were milling around, chatting on this 'family day'.
I dreamed. In my dream, I was playing in a field of glittering stars. Each star was the size of my small fist, and hung delicately from a green stem, much like that of a tulip.
There was a road through the middle of the field.
On the other side of the road, there was a darkness, deep with violet glimmers. I was fascinated by this, and wanted to be in the area of darkness, for as lovely as the field of stars was, the darkness was more soothing.
I set off towards the field of darkness, crossing the road at a steady pace. (As I recall, I was skipping)
I looked suddenly to the right. A huge truck was bearing down on me. You can imagine how scary it looked to a 12 year old girl, and I stood quite petrified with fright.
The truck hit me, and for an instant my view went red. But only for an instant. Then I was floating up above myself, and all around me, there was an encroaching light. Longing swept over me. And that scared me more than the truck.
To feel so needful of something, so utterly dependant made me recoil. Suddenly, I remembered. Remembered wanting to leave, so I could learn. Wanting to learn so I could control.
I had myself. What was I and made myself Unique. If I would merge again with the light, I would lose myself and that thought provided enough strength for me to tear myself away.
I fled back to my body, and attempted to wake it. However, all my efforts were in vain.
I tried to re-enter it, in the hopes that I could start it from the inside, but our link was to weak.
I could feel the light again try to pull me away, so I grabbed a star-flower in a desperate and unthinking attempt to remain.
There was a glare of light and fire, then I awoke in hospital.
Apparently, my grandmother had attempted to wake me so presents could be given out. After numerous attempts to wake me failed, they took me to the hospital.
The doctors confirmed that I had fallen into a coma, although they were at a loss as to how it had happened.
There was no medical damage, but my brain had begun to shut down the body.
After six hours of this, my body awoke as quickly as it had fallen asleep.
To this day, the doctors have not figured out why my perfectly healthy body collapsed, but I believe I know.
There's that word again. Belief.
I'll tell you what I believe.
I believe that my dream was powerful enough to shock my consciousness out of my body, whereby the light attempted to re-join with me. The body, sensing a loss in the -shall we say- core command, began to shut down in preparation for dying.
And why not? Who knows what the brain is capable of?
This is my truth. This is my knowledge. My purpose is to learn enough to be able to resist the light when my body dies. So I can take a new body, keeping my same sense of self. In such a way, I will remain immortal.
I will learn strength. I will learn control.
Then I will find out what is behind reality, and I shall play with it.
If you wish to review with your opinion, by all means please do. I understand if you do not agree with me, and if you are so close-minded as to be offended by what I have said then I suggest you get a life.
If you have been toying with the idea I have written about before now, then maybe you should give it some serious consideration. The more you know your 'self', the more you will fight to keep it.
-Gem of Souls.