Tell me, muse, of that nimble-footed girl who traversed great lands and battled vengeful beasts in search for the holy fortress that held the key to slaying the vicious monster in her belly. She who witnessed many forms of torture performed by monsters from the island of the apples, and espied many children with stupefied eyes and almost lifeless bodies subjected to the bromidic words of the apple-loving creatures. Tell us this tale, humble storyteller, starting from the beginning, if you may.

Tuesday was the day when the iniquitous scholar of the English language versed her captives with an excruciatingly prosaic tome. At the back of the cell, a bright-eyed girl noted twitchingly the droopy eyes of the rest of the captives, and longed for the wise old man with the magical dust of dreams to visit her too. Yet the dark, caffeinated potion from 2 hours past barred the old man from visiting, so she suffered alone and in silence. Even the hands of time were on strike. Suddenly the vicious creature from inside her belly roared in agony, and the light of dawning shone upon her thick dark-haired mane and revealed to her the quest she must commence. The quest for the HOLY FORTRESS!

Sarah Lhit, with the raven coloured mane, pondered furiously upon her escape from the dungeon of erudition. The vicious monster of her belly snarled impatiently once again at its lack of sustenance, and its master knew that her time to tame the beast was limited. Glancing at the iniquitous scholar of the English language, Sarah noted that she was deeply enthralled in the excruciatingly tedious passage from Macbeth, and she foresaw the chance to flee. With great agility and cunning, Sarah of the nimble feet maneuvered her way behind the desks whose occupants were less than conscious, to say the least. She bounded over inch-thick manuscripts strewn carelessly across the ground. She then attempted to dive behind the waste collector and hide herself from the roving eyes of the fiendish Ms. Wind. But her efforts were vain for the second pair of eyes on the back of her head spotted Sarah before she could move. Sarah then focused on the concealed door at the opposite end of the English passage... Realizing that all efforts of hiding herself would be meaningless, Sarah bolted for the door. Behind her, she could hear the screeching of the four-eyed scholar, whose eyes burned as red as the scorching, sweltering sun. Safe at last, her eyes darted back and forth, searching for any other interruptions to her quest for THE HOLY FORTRESS!

After surveying the corridor Sarah hastened along. Reaching the stairwell, Sarah encountered her entertainingly erratic co-conspirator who had coincidentally been returning from her own quest from the lavatory. With great eloquence, Sarah explained her devious plot to Priscilla; who swiftly concurred. They dashed through the great hall of many languages, and escaped the grave institution of learning into the warm, congested air of the afternoon.

Hurtling towards the fortress, due to the amplifying moan of their stomachs, a prominent conundrum arose. Should the conniving pair take the forbidden passageway of the elders or the common avenue? Sarah Lhit, with the raven coloured mane, was faced with true indecision. Priscilla, not wishing to disrespect the everlasting unspoken laws, concluded to amble down the common avenue. And so the entertainingly erratic Priscilla parted ways with our agile footed heroine. Sarah, being of potent character, decided to bravely trespass where no student had been before. The stairwell loomed intimidating in front of her like a dark cave with monsters lurking within. Lost in thought about traversing the forbidden passageway, she failed to notice the sound of footsteps approaching her rapidly from behind. Suddenly a ruthless voice sounded behind her, and Sarah frantically turned. The source of the voice came from an elder. The heroine rapidly evaluated the situation, should she give up the perilous task ahead or should she valiantly plummet into the danger. She didn't hesitate for an instant. For the second time in five minutes Sarah found herself bolting from a screeching banshee. The stairwell welcomed her maliciously.

And there stood a sight too excellent for even the inventive heroine to comprehend; the holy fortress. Sarah with the raven coloured mane could not wait to infiltrate the paradise of sustenance with all the delicious nourishment to come! However; fate would not have it so. Alas the musically adept Ms. Polyester was lurking about the fortress in search of clamorous students whom were without the white, plastic coated invitation to freedom. Sarah of the nimble feet was dire straights for she had misplaced the invitation as significant as the Holy Grail. At the moment the warden was fiercely interrogating a helpless juvenile, still uneducated in the ways of the cafeteria Sarah seized the moment to discretely skulk by. The heroine had completed her ultimate quest. She gazed around at the abundance of nourishment about her. Sarah looked to the heavens and blessed the Gods for their guidance and protection. All was right in the world once again...