Final Chapter: Regurgitate
I hear screaming in the background. A woman? Yes… Alicia is gasping on the floor, telling me something. Screaming it. I'm so close to her wriggling body; I can see every bead of sweat running down her naked chest and across her stomach. No blood though… why… why can't I taste her? Why isn't my tongue lapping up her insides as she screams at me? Telling me to stop... no… not to stop… to keep going. Keep going?! Doesn't it hurt you? Isn't your entire body on fire with pain?
"Are you okay?" I ask her. A gasping giggle is her respond. A loving, energetic giggle that fills me with unbearable happiness. She's delusional. She must be in so much pain that… that…
As I look into her squinting, beautiful eyes, I slowly realize that she truly is okay. She's more than okay – she's having an orgasm. I'm soaked with sweat as well, lying on top of her, delighted that she's not dead. I'm not eating her… not killing her… not killing myself inside. An overjoyed smile streaks across my face. She's okay. She'll be okay. She'll be okay… y…
"AUHH!"
Three or four people are staring at me as I yelp up and squirm in my seat on the Greyhound bus. I'm drenched in cold sweat, and I've bitten my lip hard with my razorblade teeth. A river of blood streams down my chin, and I wipe it with my jacket a few times before a middle-aged woman gets up and hands me a small pack of tissues. I thankfully grab them and wave her my regards. The blood won't stop – I poke at the wound with my tongue and realize that I cut myself deep. I shovel the tissues into my mouth until the bleeding finally stops, and I slouch into a corner. The same woman walks over to me with an unopened bottle of water, handing it to me.
"My God, are you all right?!"
I don't make eye contact, but I slowly remove the tissues from my mouth, trying not to expose my teeth. My lower lip hurts like hell, and I struggle to speak.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm f..f…phine. Just had a nightmah, that'sall. Thank you so mruch for the wader and tissyuss."
I force a polite, toothless smile in her direction and get a good look at her. She's in her mid-forties maybe, and is wearing a well-made black business suit. Explains why she's on a bus this late at night.
She returns the smile and promptly sits down in her seat, looking at me for a few more moments until an Entertainment Weekly Magazine hides her face. I open the water and splash it in my mouth; it isn't cold, but it helps. Leaning back and padding my lip until the bleeding stops, I try to go back to sleep, to reenter the perfect world where Alicia loves me and I won't harm a fly.
But no matter how hard I try, the world won't show up in my head. The blood in my mouth triggers thoughts that I'd rather forget.
I hate it when any woman ever screams at me. Telling me to "stop, please, stop!" or "put the fucking knife away!" But I never listen. I'm usually in another world, observing my soulless actions from afar. My addiction to blood and meat overshadows my conscience and my humanity.
And then… after they've screamed their lungs out… I toss away my weapon. I always toss it away – I never need it. I've got all the weaponry I'll ever need, right in my mouth. Any dentist would have nightmares if they saw me smile wide.
I usually kneel down and grin, and look into their beautiful eyes. Every girl I've ever killed has had angelic, perfect green eyes. Eyes that could be made into precious jewelry, only suitable for a God. They cry, and the salty tears make it halfway down their face before I lick them away. Their bodies shudder, made icy by my touch. Their clothes are ripped and frayed after I wrestle them to the ground. A girl would always wriggle and twist and shiver as I place my fingers on her face. She would gasp and hold my hand and whisper her last words to me as I let my lips press against hers. They never see death hit them, and their last memory is of me and my awkward, gothic boyish charm.
I threw up the first time. My girlfriend Nadia never saw it coming, and neither did I. We were fourteen, and a school dance had just ended horribly. Someone had spiked the punch and made thirty-five 8th-graders collapse. They needed four paramedics to handle the whole damn thing. Nadia took my hand in hers and led me away from the juvenile chaos of bright lights and pumping techno music. I remember… she was so gorgeous… silky brown hair that met her shoulders, pouty lips, rosy cheeks, light green eyes, and a surprisingly breathtaking body for a fourteen-year-old. I was so damn lucky to have her. A short blood-red dress accentuated her curves and made me tremble with puppy love.
It was October, and slightly chilly outside as we ran out to the back of the school. She pushed me against the wall and fell into me, lighter than a feather and twice as soft. Her smile was perfect and bright, and made me feel ashamed of my own crooked, not-yet-pointy teeth. But all of my doubt subsided when she silently stared at me, overcome by emotion. She leaned in, and I felt my eyes water up as her pillowy pink lips met my thin, dark ones. We hugged each other as her lipstick smeared on my face. A slow and amazing kiss from her tasted so delicious for some reason… so much that my sanity left me. So much that... I wanted more. Not sex, not commitment, just… something. I wasn't sure what it was, and my teeth began to playfully nibble her lower lip. She giggled and closed her eyes, hugging me tightly. My eyelids shot open, and my lips stopped dancing with Nadia's. I looked left and right, startled that my main focus wasn't the beautiful young woman in front of me. I needed something from her, but I didn't know what… I had no idea what was driving me into… into…
"…Jake…?"
Oh yeah, I was Jake back then! I can't remember if that was my original name, but it was a name I held dear to my heart.
"Jake…! Jake! Fuck, Jake! AUGH! FUCK! AUUUGH!"
Tears welled up in Nadia's eyes as she collapsed to the ground and her severed lower lip hung in my mouth. She held her gushing face and clutched my pant leg as the color left her cheeks. I stood, stunned at the scene; it was like watching a movie. It took me a moment to notice the hunk of flesh in my mouth. Frozen, I let my teeth sink themselves into the soft pink flesh, and felt every pore on my body light up. I was amazed at how great this felt – her blood seeping around my teeth and over my tongue, down my throat and into my stomach; it all felt so great, so right. I raised my teeth and let another bite conduct itself, but Nadia's dying touch to my ankle awakened me. My mouth opened, and her chewed-up lip plopped silently to the ground. She took her hand away from her face and cried, staring at me. Her teeth and muscle and bone were exposed, and her blood formed an oblong puddle on the ground. She was no longer the goddess I lusted after. She was deformed and bleeding to death. The victim of a horrific murder.
p.
The bus shakes me from my sleep. I check my wristwatch, noticing it's only been a few minutes since my dream with Alicia.
"We have now arrived downtown, ladies and gentlemen. This is our last bus of the night; please depart the bus in an orderly fashion, and take all of your belongings with you. Thank you for choosing Greyhound."
"MICHAEL!"
"Shut the hell up, Alicia!"
Her brother's throat is in my powerful grip, and my teeth are menacingly close to his neck. I try to make myself look even more evil than usual, but its hard when the girl I love is scared to death of me… no! Love has nothing to do with it; you've fallen in love too many damn times, only for it all to end in heartbreak and bloodshed! Just do this one thing and it'll all be over with. It'll be a better life, one without murder and eating and living in secrecy. No more killing; you'll start anew.
I wait for Alicia to regain herself.
"P-please… don't hurt him…"
"I won't if you promise me two things."
"What?"
"One: don't follow me."
"I wasn't going to!"
I ignore her. "And two: tell me where I can find your friend Amanda Clemens."
"What?"
"You call her Mandy, right?"
She nervously nods 'yes'.
I grin. "She has something that I want. Something that can get the police off of my back."
'Her tainted flesh and blood' I think to myself. 'But I'd better not tell Alicia. She'd freak out.'
I push my teeth closer to Jeffrey's throat. He's not moving much, so I really have my work cut out for me.
"Why…"
Goddammit, why is she so inquisitive? "Don't ask questions, Alicia. You want your brother to live, don't you? I mean… I'm capable of self control, but I haven't eaten in a week, sweetheart. He looks so… appetizing."
Wow. Has it been that long since the hospital? No wonder I'm losing my mind.That little statement gets her to listen. Just to accentuate that I'm not kidding, I dig one of my fangs into Jeffrey's cheek and lap up the thin trickle of blood. Ew… it tastes sour and bland. Jeffrey's a stinkbomb, but I can't let Alicia know that I won't bite his throat out. I clutch his neck harder, and a few tears fall from his eyes. Yeah, cry you unappetizing little bitch. Cry for Alicia.
"1784 Prendergast Lane, you bastard! Now let him go!"
Yes, now to the demon child! I quickly smile and drop her brother, giving her a quick hug as I run out of the front door. I can hear her sobbing behind me as I make my way out into the cold February night. I'm grateful that the moon is hidden by clouds tonight – less light for someone to spot me. I run, avoiding the light of the streetlamps as I make my way to Mandy's house. Alicia had better not be lying.
I run through front yards, keeping to the shadows and glancing at every road sign that I pass by.
Golding Street… Dennis Avenue… Hatchet Street… damn it, where's Prendergast? A few more blocks and I finally reach Prendergast Lane, making a sharp turn and racing to Mandy's house.
1782…3…4… whoa…
Mandy's parents are… eccentric, apparently. The place is drenched in pink and blue plastic butterflies, and heavy plastic swans line the walkway to the two-story house. It makes me sick just walking through this field of cough-syrup-induced cheerfulness. I press up against the poorly-done siding of the house and take in a deep breath. My feet back up a few steps…
One… two… three!
I sprint at the wall and launch myself into the air, grabbing the storm gutter above me and pulling myself onto the first-story roof of the house. Walking along the top like a little kitten, I sneak over to the only window I see. Glancing inside, I see her sleeping in her plain grey bed. Amanda Clemens, seventeen years old, tainted inside. The old woman said there was something special about her, something that would make me never eat humans again. Maybe she was crazy, but I'll never know thanks to those idiot security guards that shot her. Perhaps this won't be the end. But there's a slight chance that Mandy could be the key to my freedom, and I have to acknowledge it.
Even after two years of breaking and entering, sneaking around and stealthily killing my prey, I'm no burglar. I'm honestly not very educated about alarm systems and how they work, how to break a window without tripping the alarm, and so on. So I go for a less technical approach. Sliding a small knife from my boot, I gently tap the window. Mandy doesn't stir. Another tap and she shifts around in her bed, but doesn't rise. I finally make a loud TAP TAP TAP on the window pane and Mandy rolls over to the floor, under her bed and straight to a bottle of mace. She spots me at the window, and hesitates for a second. I lean against the glass, smiling and waving as if nothing is going on. Her eyes frantically dance across my teeth, and she gives me that "am I dreaming?" look. I motion for her to open the window, and she wobbles on her feet for a second before running away.
Shit! I'm in all kinds of trouble, and there's no doubt in my mind that she's waking up the whole house. I don't run, though – I've come too far for Mandy to ruin it for me now. I'll kill her where she stands, right in front of her own parents. I've fought my way through the police before – I can do it again.
I position myself under the window with the knife clutched in my fist, staring at the black sky and wondering how this situation will end. A clattering noise breaks the silence.
"What the hell?"
I slowly rise to a squatting position and scuttle to the edge of the roof, the knife positioned to kill. I wait for another noise.
CRRRALNGGKHH
I grip the knife tighter and take a breath before leaning over the side of the house.
"Alicia?"
"Fuck!"
"Alicia?"
"Um… yeah, hi Michael…"
She's still dressed in the grey sports bra and dark pink flannel pajama pants that I saw her in earlier, only now she's wearing a windbreaker and tennis shoes. Her clothes are ripped and smeared with dirt, and her normally flowing hair has mud and gravel in it. Underneath all of the filth, her jade green eyes and wonderful features still manage to make her look beautiful. An extremely large butcher knife is clutched in her hand; a knife that makes my little one wilt in comparison. She's breathing hard and is trying to put a fallen trash can back in its place when she sees me poke my head off of the roof.
"Uh, I just wanted…to see you again…"
I'm stunned. Would she really come this far? Just to…
"Were you trying to kill me with that thing?"
"No!" She blurts out, then calms down and explains herself. "No, I just… felt like I needed protection."
"Why are you here?"
"Um… I really… I wanted to make sure Mandy was okay, Michael. Please… please tell me… what are you going to do?"
I'm silent for a second, then shove my blade into my pocket and put my hand out to help her up. It takes a moment, but I finally plop her down on the sandpapery roof and cautiously kick away her knife. I sit down next to her and slide my hand into hers. She stares at me intently with her two wide emeralds, shaded behind small black glasses. My eyes are locked with hers.
"Alicia, I… Mandy is on a medication that… I hate to say this, but it helps with heroin rehabilitation."
"Mandy… doesn't shoot heroin."
"Let me finish. When I was in that hospital, I learned that… that this medication could slowly help me as well…"
"You shoot heroin?!"
"No, but Mandy's medicine could stop me from eating people!"
"Mandy doesn't shoot heroin!" She repeats.
"Well of course you don't think she does heroin - she never told you."
"…Michael, I can tell you're lying."
"Would I ever lie about something like this? This could be the end to my addiction, Alicia."
"…how do I know you're not just here to kill her?"
"Once again, would I ever lie to you?"
"Yes! You almost broke my arm and scared the hell out of my brother!"
"Alicia-"
"No! You're a liar, a murderer and a fucking cannibal! Let me go!"
"Alicia, stop!"
I clutch her hands and prevent her from running off.
"Let me go!" She says again.
"Alicia, I'm telling the truth!"
"No!"
Out of ideas, I sigh and kiss her. It calms her a bit, but she hastily wrenches her hands free, pushes me away and slaps me hard in the face.
"Don't you ever touch me again!"
"Alicia-"
THWAP
I rub my cheek where her hand smacked me as she storms off to the edge of the roof, sitting down and wiping a tear from her face.
"She got you good, Michael."
What the hell? Who was that?!
I frantically turn around to see Mandy hanging out of her window. She's a very skinny girl of seventeen, 5'6", with dark wavy blonde hair, hazel eyes and noticeable vampiric fangs. I've only met her a few times before, but every time she always seemed excessively sarcastic and cynical about life. I've always admired her, but realized that she wasn't my type. Loose, heavy blue pajama pants and a black Aerosmith t-shirt drape her skeletal form. She slides from the window.
"I missed you at Halloween… would have been nice to have a real-life cannibal there…"
"Shut the fuck up, Mandy!" Alicia screams from the ledge, still crying.
"Goddamn, girl! Wake the whole neighborhood, why don't you?"
I speak up. "Mandy… where did you go?"
"Just now?"
I nod.
"I went downstairs to switch off the alarm. Can't open the window with it on."
"Oh." I'm ecstatic now that Mandy is right in my grasp without any police involved, but I keep it to myself. "Why didn't you…"
"Call the cops? Nah. I figure that you came for a reason, and killing me wouldn't be it. You're a smart guy, even though you… eat people."
I'm silent as she paces the roof, eyeing me up.
"Why do you do that?" She finally asks.
It takes me a minute. "…I don't know. It's an addiction that I'm not sure how I developed."
"Whoa… awesome… I bet those teeth of yours can cut through anything, huh?"
"…I guess."
Mandy's casual attitude about her sobbing friend and a murderer standing on her roof at 2:30 in the morning is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. She continues to look at me like I'm some sort of monkey, and I walk over to Alicia in an attempt to elude Mandy's fascination. I rest my hand on her shoulder, and she gently pushes it away.
"Alicia…"
The second time I place my hand on her, she doesn't touch it. I sit down next to her on the ledge – Mandy can wait. She stares off into space, but my eyes center in on her face. I take a deep and thoughtful breath and let my heart spill out in front of me.
"Alicia, I know that I scare you. I know that I'm violent and sneaky and kill human beings. Worse, I eat human beings. But… I only do it because I have to. Because that's the only way I can keep living – to take life."
Her tear-strewn face turns toward me.
"Do you know how many girls I've gone through? How many I've killed and eaten?"
She flinches, but I keep going. My hand is still on her shoulder.
"All of them were stupid, horrible sluts that didn't deserve to live. But you… I would never touch you. I would never lay a harmful tooth or finger on you, Alicia! I'll never taste your blood, I promise you! When you cry, I won't lick your face like a dog, and when you fall, I won't suck on your wounds. Whenever you hurt inside, I swear that whoever is responsible will be hurt back, Alicia. I'll protect you from all of harm's way; I'll be your shield, your guide, your friend… I won't ever let anything happen to you… because I love you… I love you so much…"
My eyes are watering up, and her mouth is slightly open. Mandy stands in silence behind us.
Alicia's hand presses against my face and wipes away my tears. She manages to give me a small smile.
Mandy shifts uncomfortably and chuckles. "Wow. You aren't going to fall for that sappy shit, are you?"
We both turn angrily and yell "Shut up, Mandy!"
"Okay, okay! Fuck, didn't think the cannibal could be so damn corny…"
Like lightning, I dart up and clutch Mandy by the throat. Her neck is so skinny and frail, and I try not to snap it like a twig in my powerful grip. I wrestle her to the ground as Alicia stands above us, not knowing what to do.
I whisper to her. "Alicia… this is what I have to do… what I came here to do… trust me… please, for the love of human life itself… trust me…"
She stands frozen as Mandy's face turns dark red. Watery snot drizzles from Mandy's nostrils and tears stream down her face. Her hands are all over the place, and she manages to rip off my brown leather jacket. I take one hand off of her neck and curl it into a fist, rearing back and PUNCHING her in the cheek, almost hard enough to make her head pop off. She goes limp and I bite out her neck; I expect it to taste so horrible that I'll never eat people again, but she's so amazingly delicious that I can't stop eating! Her esophagus is perfectly tender and tasty, and it slides down like gourmet cuisine.
I absent-mindedly glance at Alicia to see her standing over the scene, crying with her hand over her mouth. I turn back to my food. After the blonde's neck is a bloody shredded mess, I move down to her stomach and bite frantically, ripping away the flesh and muscle and tearing at the delicious red meat inside – it slithers around in my mouth as I… as I… I…
My mouth is full and my eyes are closed and I feel like I'm eating spaghetti. I shouldn't be eating spaghetti. I should be dining on fine, delicious meat that has never tasted so – JESUS CHRIST!
My eyes slowly open and widen at the repulsive scene in front of me. Mandy's stomach is carved open, bleeding, delicious… and stuffed full of tapeworms. An excessive amount of squiggling tapeworms squirm around as I spit them back into her stomach. A moving plate of bloody spaghetti stares me in the face, stunning me. I can still feel them gliding around my mouth, sucking my taste buds, throwing me into a state of sickness that I haven't felt since that horrific night with Nadia. I scramble to my feet, falling backwards and writhing around on the roof. I can't bear to look at the tainted corpse in front of me; can't stand thinking that my mouth was stuffed full of tapeworms a moment ago.
I wriggle and thrash about, angry and nauseous. I finally find stability, keeling over on my knees like a frightened cat. For the first time… I'm sickened by a dead body on the ground. Sickened at how disgusting human beings are. Sickened at how I can stand to put them in my mouth.
On my hands and knees, I gag, and a waterfall of red comes crashing down. Everything I've eaten – all the throat and stomach and muscle and flesh and lung and liver and meat come splattering down in front of me.
I cough violently, spit a few times, then roll over on my back and stare at the sky. So cloudy and dark... so undecided. Just like me. The sky tonight is unsure whether to open up and let out the stars and the beautiful moon. Unsure whether the darkness is enough, or if the world beneath deserves a few rays of moonlight.
Alicia is still standing over Mandy as I lay on the roof like a rock. I close my eyes, trying to take myself away from this place, to make me forget about how horrible my life is. I can hear an awful smacking noise in the background – eating. Biting, cutting, ripping away… stop… stop the nightmares in my head…
I moan as I lay, cold and alone in my little world. I hear footsteps… who? Alicia… Alicia, yes… I keep my eyes closed as she props up my head and kisses me, pushing her tongue into my mouth. It's smooth and soft for some reason, and…no… it isn't her tongue. My teeth nibble at the hunk in my mouth and I realize that it's a piece of Mandy's throat. My eyes shoot open and stare at Alicia's big shining green jewels. She has taken her glasses off and her lovely lips are splattered with blood. She smiles as her lips press against mine, and we both chew on the delicious human flesh that makes us whole.
"I love you too, Michael…"
She swallows the meat and clutches my shoulders, not letting our lips separate. I grab at her bloodstained clothes, and she takes off her windbreaker. Our tongues dance around in a loving frenzy, and she hugs our wet, bloody bodies together. Her kiss is lustful, fiery and defiant, and makes me realize that the most enjoyable thing the human body must do to survive… is to eat.