Hey, looky, it's a fluffy slash with language, underage smoking/drinking and unnecessary English slang, because many of my characters talk like me. Funny, that. Reviewage would be awesome, as would CC. The title's from a Placebo song.

-Passive Aggressive-

They'd gone to the pub after band practice - which wasn't unusual - and Steve (drummer, Brummie, stoner extraordinaire) had fucked off somewhere, claiming he was busy. That was weird as hell, but they assumed he had a secret girlfriend or had gone to see his dealer or something. The Black Dog, their local, had recently stopped letting its customers smoke, so they mooched around outside in the pub carpark for a bit while they finished their roll-ups.

"We're gonna be fucked when it gets nearer winter." Jon said morosely. "We'll be shuffling around in the dark getting rained on like nobody's business just 'cause some posh shit wants to eat in there."

"Yeah, doesn't life just suck?" Natty retorted, rolling his eyes. "We could just quit."

"And you could just kiss my arse. I plan on keeping my filthy habits at least until they're legal." Jon wouldn't be sixteen for another month.

"All of them?"

"Nah, I was thinking of giving up that crack habit - bit expensive, kinda thing."

"Wimp."

"Druggie."

"Brat."

"Fogey."

Natty, who was six months older than his friend, shot him a glare and poked him. "Watch it, short stuff, or I'll leave you outside with a Vimto and a packet of crisps. You should always be nice to the guy who can get served."

Jon stuck his tongue out and poked Natty back. "That's blackmail, you... you... blackmailer."

"It is indeed, my little midget."

"Fag."

"Poof."

"Yep."

Natty blinked, thrown off for a minute. "...Pardon?"

"I'm sorry, is that a problem?" Jon said placidly, dropping the end if his rollie on the ground and swivelling it under the toe of his boot. "I kind of thought you'd've guessed by now, anyway."

"You're..."

"...gay, yes. Subject change now, please."

"You're gay?"

Jon ran his hands through his bleach-blond hair awkwardly. "So, um, kittens. They're fluffy, aren't they?"

"Since when are you gay?"

"Since birth, Natty. If it's a fucking problem I can just fucking go, OK?"

"No, it's - it's OK, I was just a tiny little bit surprised for some reason. Was that your idea of coming out all sort of tactful-like?"

"Well, excuse me! Do you want me to sort of lead up to it, maybe? 'By the way, on the subject of kittens, I think I may be a bit fluffy myself'?"

"You could at least have given me some kind of warning. 'Hey, Nat, I have something to tell you, you may want to sit down' sound sensible?"

"Do you actually have an issue with it at all?" Jon asked nervously, running his hands through his hair again.

"If you really thought I did, would you have fucking told me?"

"Well no, but as my creepy uncle Bryan says, you can never tell. He says it about gayness, though, but the principle remains the same."

Natty took a final drag on his cigarette and stubbed it out with a sigh. "No, Jonathan, I assure you that your homosexuality does not pose any sort of a problem to my way of life."

"Glad to hear it, Nathaniel." Jon grinned, bowing mockingly.

Natty took a deep breath and raised his chin defiantly. "Besides, it may interest you to know that I'm not entirely hetero myself."

Jon raised an eyebrow. "No? The mind just fucking boggles, Nat. Did you not think the eyeliner might give it away?"

"For fuck's sake, I only wore that once. For a dare. At a Placebo gig."

"And very pretty you looked too. We going in then?"

"Excuse me, my best friend's just come out - I think that warrants another fag, personally."

Jon rolled his eyes and poked his friend. "You can have another when you've bought me a fucking pint. C'mon, fuckface, if I wanted to stand around outside inviting lung cancer I could do it at home."

"Jon, my man, sometimes I feel your dedication to nicotine addiction lacks something. I'll go twos with you."

"Fuck off, I want a drink. Tell you what, you can have a big gay hug instead and I'll pay for your drink as well. Sound like a plan?"

"Free drinks always sound like a plan." Natty said, stepping forward to hug his friend.

"Mmm... fucking hell, you're warm." Jonny mumbled into Natty's shoulder, holding him tightly.

"That's 'cause I have the sense to not wear just a T-shirt at eight PM."

"Fuck off, it was warm when I got dressed this morning. 'Sides, who needs a coat when I've got my very own warm, fluffy teddy bear?"

"And what do I get? My very own skinny little ice cube? Thanks a squillion, bud."

"Shut up, you. You know you love me."

"Yeah, but if you don't take your freezing cold hands off my nice warm back I'll still thump you. I'll just do it in a loving sort of way."

"Bitch."

"Brat."

"Fogey."

"Midget."

"Fag."

"Hadn't we already established that?"

"Just reiterating in case you weren't listening the first time."

"Jon?"

"Mm?"

"I realise you're trying to stave off hypothermia and so forth, but could you stop hugging me now? We're starting to get the odd funny look."

"Natty ol' buddy ol' pal, you always look funny... OK then, let's go. I owe you a pint."

Jon raised his head from the other boy's shoulder, still reluctant to actually let go of his only source of warmth. "Yeah, I'll actually let go any minute now. Honest."

Natty raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure."

"Unless..."

"Unless?"

"Yeah... unless." Jon murmured, tilting his head to one side and looking up at Natty with a slight smile. Without thinking, Natty closed the distance between their mouths, pulling Jon closer. He could feel the shorter boy smiling against his lips.

It felt like forever before Natty pulled away, eyes wide. "This was a bad idea." he said frantically, pushing Jon to one side.

"I dunno, felt pretty good to me."

"Jon, I mean it, this is stupid, we're friends... I should go."

"What? Why?" Natty ignored his friend and hurried towards the carpark entrance. "Nat, come back!"

"I'll see you at school tomorrow, yeah?"

"Mate, for fuck's sake... at least come back for the drink I owe you."

"Fucking forget the drink, OK?" Jon stared at the retreating figure of his friend. What the hell had just happened?

-TBC. Possibly.

(It's probably a two-parter, unless I can find a plotline that'll stretch further than another chapter or so. Did I mention that I like reviews? grovels shamelessly)