It was forbidden.

That's what it was but that's was what made it exciting and exhilarating but it also made her heart beat quicken every time she saw him and made her mind race frantically trying to think of how to act around him.

How could you act when something like this happened?

It was just her luck that something like this happened to her.

In her home state of Alabama it was legal but more importantly in the rest of the country it was illegal and frowned upon by the many members of society and it wasn't just frowned upon many some members of society; it was frowned upon by ALL members of society. This type of relationship had very minimal occurrences but it shouldn't ever happen yet it secretly did. It never happened; it never existed and was never talked about openly.

If only they all knew. That would put her burden to rest. No. That would be much worse. Worse than feeling this, the complete and utter isolation involved would make her question her sanity and make her question her frame of mind and her thoughts more than she already had.

She had to let it go.

She was never supposed to feel that way. Not ever.

If only she could put to rest all these feelings of desires for him, but would cause a world of controversy to anyone who she would talk to and to her this, would be the last thing that she needed. It would contribute to her feelings of isolation, which she knew only too well. This wasn't even information she could share with her friend, Liz. She would kill her if she knew, absolutely devastate her and would further the void between her and her friend.

If the object of her affection knew, then it be even more devastating and she would lose his trust forever, and maybe never ever regain it back. Not only that but the unethical issue of it.

It had all started awhile ago, just like a plodding buildup which reached its climax, which was seemed unfeasible to forget. It involved the one person in the world that she could never be with, her other half, her brother. She was positive that he never liked her that way, how could be when he had a different girl every week and with each passing week, one prettier than the next.

She had talked to him the other day about relationships. Their talks were the only time that she could be completely honest with him and really tell him what was on her mind. Ally talked to Liam regarding her problems but under a guise of her on-again-off-again boyfriend, Sam.

They had once gone out, less than a year back but had broken up after realizing that he wasn't the boy that she wanted. In their talks, Liam would sit by her bed and gaze with her with full attentiveness, convincing her for a couple of minutes at least, that his whole universe was centered solely upon her. His dark brown eyes would centre on her own (one of the distinctive traits which they had both inherited from their mother) and would look at her with feelings of understanding and compassion.

Ally would ramble on, about her problems. Her most reason one being that she wanted to get back with her boyfriend, a guise understandably. At first she had never wanted to deceive him into worrying about her feelings of inadequacy over him, Ally had fought, battled and strung out her over emotional state hoping to descend into some sort of rationality, something that would free her mind – and most importantly her heart.

She had hated herself, as she sat there deceiving him.

How she wished that she had never started this, and that it would have never even become a possibility of happening. It was her fault, she had initiated this with herself and now she was left alone to suffer with the gigantic burden of it all. She should have stopped it, stopped herself. Yet she had failed so miserably when she pursued her own selfish desires in exchange of him.

Her un-rational thinking combined with enticing elements made it more than what it was. She looked at every sign; every possibility for him to feel the same way- but there was no chance of it. None whatsoever, he was her brother. They shared the same parents, the same family. She lived with him everyday, saw him at his worst, saw him at his best and saw him with those many girls that she knew he had intimate sexual pleasure with.

How could she just avoid him all together, it was impossible. Every night they sat at the table and ate their meals and they were together on family outings. It never helped that he never went out a lot during the day and instead had his best friend, Kyle over.

Her emotional tirade, she recognized was selfish and immature. She would have to deal with these simplistic things herself, and for the exaggerated truths, Ally would have to stop and that she would have to stop doing it and would have to stop doing it soon.

This is my last time; she told herself angrily. She had no right to do this. No right. No right at all.


His voice sounded soft and smooth and sounded like music to her ears.

"Come here".

As the ever concerned brother that he was, as he realized his sister's downward emotional state, he drew his arms out and carefully cushioned her on his chest. Ally's head stuck in his neck, and looked away guiltily.

This had come about because of her.

How could she have done something like this?

She inhaled his sweet scent of musky aftershave and felt his arms comfortingly drawing smooth, circular movements around her back, near the area of her waist. She felt his strong, muscular arms rub her back. She felt his hands on her back move vertically, passing over her bra straps and down where they firmly settled on her waist.

"Don't worry Ally. It will work out."

Her hands grasped his shoulders as her body molded into his, where she could feel the fineness of his hair softly grazing her cheek. Soft stubble grazed her on the soft dip of her chin.

Ally mentally tried to pull herself together. She tried but her resolve was weakening as the soft scent of him overcame her once more and drowned out any other thought least of all one centering on her leaving him. It felt right to be like this, even if it was just for a moment. One moment in time, in which could affect the outcome of one's life, as it had obviously done in her case. One moment she felt like her feelings were controlling her and the next, she felt hopeless, weak and unconsciously exhilarated. Her paradoxical feelings were foreign even to her. Her eyes closed instinctively as she let the sweet presence of him surround her.

She felt warm and safe. In his arms was the one place where she could hide and be comforted from the world that had done her no favors. The world which to her, only unhappiness and un-stillness existed and happiness reigned infrequently and in small amounts.

Her mind was an emotional mess. He was her brother; they shared the same parents who would definitely disprove of her newfound lustful feelings towards him. At this moment, it didn't matter at all, nothing mattered. Nothing, at all mattered except him and his warm body enveloping her. It felt right, like it was supposed to be. She wished time could stop at this exact moment. That she could stay in his arms forever and never let go. His soft arms would never leave her and she would forever be safe.

Seconds seemed like minutes, and minutes seems like hours as she submitted to his embrace and stayed there, fully fulfilled by his simple presence.

The moment was shattered. He slowly pulled away from her. He looked at her directly in her eyes; his chocolate brown eyes framed by long dark lashes stared into her eyes, lovingly.

Ally had wanted him, and in the time that they both spent together especially when they were hugging like this, he was hers. They were one. If she had her choice, she would hold onto him forever and never ever let him go.

He pulled away from her.

Her moment of ecstasy was shattered as she rapidly blinked, puzzled, bringing her forth into reality. She was so accustomed to her dream like state, which was courtesy of many hours at night as she laid awake thinking of him and his soft, sweet smell. She adjusted to emptiness of his warmth, reluctantly. Once again, she felt empty, lost just as she had been moments before feeling his warm body embrace her. She was once again, lost. With no one to care for her, no one that truly cared about her.

Ally could never be with him. Never.

His sweet smell lingered with her moments after, he let go of her waist and trailed his hands on hers. His forefinger tilted her head up at a 45 degree angle as he looked directly into her brown orbs.

"You are such a special girl." His hand softly traced the line of her jaw in a smooth, soft caressing motion.

He smiled, and a gentle, genuine smile lit up his chiseled, defined but handsome features.

She gazed up at him.

"Don't let anyone tell you otherwise"

He let her go slowly, and stepped away from her. He looked at his watch and looked back up at her, an apologetic smile gracing his wide, firm lips.

"I'm going out now" He told her. "I'll be back later"

Then he left, just like that.

Just like that, she stood there minutes after he had left. He had left Ally staring into a daze and recollecting the moments where his touch warmed her skin. So soft, so gentle and loving, his touch had stirred emotions in here which she had been trying to forget. They were emotions that she had tried to hard to forget that she had wanted to let go of.

Yet she couldn't forget it.

The emotions which she was feeling were emotions which were ones that she was forbidden to feel, to experience and to even think about. Her love for him was forbidden, yet she couldn't go anywhere or do anything about it. Yet, she was permanently fixated on that spot, her mind focused firmly on the events which had taken place and most important to her, the feeling of his body molded gently against hers.

She closed her eyes savoring his touch, his smell and the feeling of his warm muscular chest with the well defined abs which had crushed against her body, lovingly.

Ally sighed softly and unknowingly made a wish as she opened her soulful eyes. It was remembered as she opened her eyes and gazed at the full moon in her bedroom window.

She had always wished for one thing, wished one thing and one thing only- to feel her body against her brothers once more as she wanted him to want and desire her just the way that she wanted and desired him.

The moon fell in pliable puddles of light. The trees shook as the stillness of the wind gripped them, sending them slowly swaying sideways. The possums on it hung their tails on the branch; their eyes wide open just waiting for the promising night ahead. Outside her window, the small twittering of the male cicadas twittering their mating call, squeezing song after song of membrane and muscle as they tried to attract female cicadas to mate with.

The occasional bird chirped loudly as swarms of them flew overhead. It was the middle of the night, in a domain where the animals outside ruled their natural habitat, leaving the humans inside their house sleeping soundly and waiting for the sun to rise.

Well normally everyone inside number 77, Rose bank Street would be asleep. Tonight wasn't an ordinary night. It could be to some, who lay unconscious, sleep claiming them leading them into dreams where they would experience the full state of their unconsciousness. For others it was different.

Ally lay awake that night as she thought about the events which had taken place the previous day. She had firmly told herself, the day before that she would not be running towards her brother in hope of reassurance of her exaggerated stories which were only based on half truths.

The hug, her brother's hug played constantly on her mind. There was something there that troubled her about it; she didn't know what it was. As he mind tried to further dissect the situation, she found herself coming to a standstill. She wasn't making something small, very big because Ally hoped that in some reassuring way that he had felt the same about her. This was a hopeful thought, she knew, and one that was planted in her mind to justify and excuse the over- emotional which she was feeling.

She could only wish that she would have someone to hold her, as her brother did. Someone to reassure her and to tell her that everything was alright, that her life was worth living even though it did get oh-so lonely. She wanted a companion, a partner and someone who she could talk to as openly and freely as she talked to her brother, Liam.

She wanted him, but in that same sense she knew that it was entirely wrong and that it could never be, and that the hug that they both shared would be their last. It was wrong, on a moral level which led her to doubt her judgment, it was wrong on a social level which meant that she would never be able to look at her brother the same way knowing that she had loved him as more than simply a sister. He would never love her as more than that, and who was she kidding, she should be grateful that he had just loved her as that.

Ally thought that she was no beauty queen, no gorgeous girl or even one which could be deemed as pretty. She knew that in her 17 years, she lucky to even get one date at all. Other times it had been pretty dubious that nothing more would eventuate. She thought that she was ordinary, a plain, simple girl who was lucky to just have managed to keep one friend and an ex boyfriend. She didn't know what he had seen in her though, she thought of herself as being so dull, so monotonous and a girl who had always kept her head down as she shuffled nervously through the corridors of her school.

Sam had just been a distraction for her, one to take the focus off the incestual love of her life. It had been fun, for awhile but the more that she was with him, the more that she craved his touch, his scent, and his soft husky voice which was deep and seductive. She felt herself pull away from Sam, whenever he was near and pained her so much to know that she just couldn't help it. She didn't love him, she never had. Ally hadn't even liked him, he was just a poor man's substitute for her brother, and it eventually hadn't worked.

It had failed.

Throughout the relationship she had to begin to notice how her boyfriends loving words and soft caresses did not fill her to them brim with happiness, did not complete her and did not make her feel totally, and fully alive. They were distorted, her feelings torn between her obligation love of her boyfriend and one of her forbidden love. She wanted to break up with him, at times she still did but the thought of her being alone, all alone and by herself had stopped her.

She wanted to wake up in the middle of the night with a warm body next to her, comforting her and loving her. There were times that she did. In the presence of her boyfriend, their relationship had been consummated by the passionate lovemaking which they so desired. For Ally, it was reasons other than to be physically satisfied. She had wanted to be emotionally satisfied, and as much as she hated to think that she did, whenever her eyes were closed, she would fantasize and imagine that her boyfriend's face next to her was not his own. It was the one of the man that she loved and 3 years her senior.

Ally brought herself upright, as she opened her eyes for many times that night. She couldn't sleep at all but yet when she did try to, and when she did try to close her eyes the only thing that she thought about was him.

Her urge to go to the bathroom was soon apparent as she tried to lie still. Her bladder disagreed with her mind as it brought her facing up and brought her body directly vertical from the floor. As she stood up, her eyes traveled to the far end of the room where her alarm clock was resting, the time before her flashed into her iris as her pupils grew larger as they adjusted to the lack of the light.

The time before her flashed 4:30. It had been more than 7 hours since she had first climbed into her bed.

Her footsteps echoed on the hard timber floor, as it indecisively made creeks every third step that she took. Slowly, yet as quietly as she could, Ally stole through the hallway of her double storey house. Her footsteps paused as she reached a door which was a room which was diagonal from her room. It was at the far end of the hallway which gave it an allusion of privacy as the second bathroom was on the right hand side of it, blocking it from view of her parent's bedroom and from the view of Ally's room. It was once used as a storage room, and had recently been converted into a teenage retreat just for her brother.

Yet there she stood, in front of his room. She inwardly debated with herself whether to stand there or to move. Her mind willed her to do the latter, but yet her feet stood there as they were firmly planted to the floor.

The door of his room was not fully shut, leaving a small gap between the framework and door itself. As Ally moved her eyes in the crack, she began to become acutely aware of the events which were occurring before her, in the room with the door that was opened a small portion.

Sounds of love making were heard around her. Moans of pleasure and ecstasy vibrated through the room. Ally gazed into the room through the small crack as curiosity overwhelmed her. She had traveled this far already, what harm would looking into the room do?

Inside there was a male and a female. The female was riding the male, her grunts of pleasure echoing through the stillness of the room, she was in the top position and pleasure over rid her as her eye closed, her breathless state clearly indicating the intense gratification which she was experiencing. The female was naked, sweat pulsating from her body and covering her body in a shiny substance which accentuated her taut, tight stomach, full buxom breasts and long curvaceous legs. The male figure below her, groaned enjoyably beneath her. His cries became louder they both experienced their climax, his deep, sensual voice rising to the volume considered louder than normal speech. His cries became more frantic, more passionate and with his final thrust he was done.

"Oh" He groaned as he buried his head into the blonde female atop him. Her shoulder fell forward in his head bringing them both back on the pillows of the bed, where they both fell exhausted from their passionate yet frenzied lovemaking.

His voice came softly, barely audible as his closed eyes buried further within the shoulder of his lover. "Oh. Ally" He moaned, savoring the smell of his lover as they both fell back into the comfort of Liam's bed.

Ally froze.

Did he just say what she thought he said?

He didn't though, did he? It was just a mistake, a stupid mistake. Her mind frenzied with the sudden burst of thought. The answer became obvious to her as she thought it through, or at least tried to.

That was the name of the girl.

Ally wasn't the only person in her world to have her name, and wouldn't ever be the last. The person that her brother was making passionate love to was his date, a random stranger that he met at the club and brought home to have his way with her. He had been with so many; it was only a matter of time that he brought one home who shared her name. It was only natural, and it was completely normal. As she thought of this, her heart slowed down from its abnormally frantic pace and settled down to one more suited to the average person.

Her legs lifted as they moved her further in the direction of the bathroom. She bolted away from Liam's room as she realized that her cover would soon be gone as the darkness would soon fully lift and be replaced with a beautiful, serene sunrise which was very apparent as the light was getting more vivid with every passing minute.

She could never be with him, she realized, only in her wildest dreams. There would be nothing that she could do to make him happy like that. There was nothing at all that she could do. Even if they did get together and by some enormous miracle he loved her back, they could do nothing and go nowhere. Her parents wouldn't approve and would be a complete embarrassment to them, and understandably so. They would be ostracized from the community, she would have to leave her only friend, her school, her house and there would never be any way back in.

Her desires were selfish, she realized, as her thoughts became more rational. It could never happen; she couldn't let him suffer like that. She wouldn't just destroy him and tear him away from the life that he loved; she wouldn't let him do that for her. He couldn't just leave his life, he was in the middle of his college education and if their parents ever found out, they would kick Liam out forcing him to abandon his academic studies. Her parents would be harder on him, as he was the most mature out of the both of them and also three years her senior. His friends would abandon him and he would never be able to go out, and if anything ever happened to them they could never ask for help which had been held out so generously before.

It would be them against the world.

Well, that was only if he had meant to say her name which Ally was positive that he hadn't. It was just a fraudulent slip at best and the most logical solution in her mind, the name which Liam had called her, was not only Ally's name but the girl's name as well.

Even if there was any remote possibility that it could happen, she would have to stop it and never let it happen in reality.

For once, Ally put her own feelings aside for Liam and considered the best option, the one that would make his days happy. She wished for his days to be full of sunshine and laughs, and all things happy and never sorrowed by loss or grief which would eventuate if he found out her feelings.

In loving him so unselfishly, Ally had just given him up