I cannot help it. I hate tears! I never ever cried for anyone, for anything. You know that. Yes, you know that very well, don't you? You know me far better than any other. No god can ever boast such knowledge. If you could still here me, all I have to ask you now is why?

You had nothing to prove. You should have not done this. It was my problem. It was my time. I was my damned destiny.

You told me once that we cannot change what the fates have given us. You told me that destiny will always win. I hated you that time. I hated it that you actually accepted "destiny".

When we figured it out, you promised me that you will wait and someday meet me. You still believed in destiny. You always did. I kept you to your promise and in turn I promised to live for the time being. I cherished this as the only thing that is stable and pure in the world. Words they were. Yes, but they were yours and they meant something to me. It was the only thing that kept me fighting for so long when in numerous times I could have just gone.

Can you hear me? Can you see me? Please open your eyes. Is this another one of your jokes? Please open your eyes. I like your eyes remember, I want to see them now, but not this way. I want to see them looking at me, fondly, amused as if I was worthy of your gaze.

Oh, do you remember the time I fell? That was pretty embarrassing wasn't it? Me, actually falling? It would probably be a joke now. I remember you helping me up, too. You told me that everyone falls, even the best, you said. I was stubborn then. I didn't want to get up, I wanted to stay down. After much whining on my part, you got sick and tired of my antics. I scorned you for what you did. And for your information, acting like a bag of turnips over your shoulder wasn't easy, but it was fun.

I loved your hair, dark brown and messily falling over your eyes. You hated it. It never stayed in place. You always got irritated when I said I liked your hair. I'll tell you a secret. You look really funny when you're angry.

Then you, ever the jester, would beat me at the teasing game I started. I always lost to you, though I'd never admit it. Your voice and laughter, your words and teases, I'd do anything to hear them now. Look, I'll start. I like your hair!

Alright, I guess I should go now, but I don't want to! Not without you! You thought I never knew. I knew. You used to follow me home, just to see I was safe. Did anyone ever attack me? No, I guess because they saw you a few meters back. I could have taken them you know. You're not the only one who is trained here.

I beat you at swordplay once. You couldn't forgive me for a week, not even after I said I was sorry. Do you remember what you made me do? Well, let me remind you Mr. I'm-hungry. You had me cook for you. I despised you for that. You know how I hate cooking and sewing and whatever else I'm supposed to be doing. But I really have to ask you now, was the dish good? You never told me.

You didn't have to fight. I fixed the papers for you and your family to be included in the shelter. You were always a knuckle head.

Damn these tears! Why? Can't you spare me a moment and tell me why? Why did you put that armor on? Why did you leave the shelter? Why did you stand in front of me? You just came out of nowhere. You weren't supposed to be there. I have half a mind to kill you right now, but you know I can't do that.

So are you answering any of my questions? I suppose not. Ha! You and your pathetic belief in destiny, you just took away mine! Now, you're up there. You shouldn't be there! I should be there! That was my destiny! Mine not yours! Never yours.

I should be there. You took that away. You hypocrite! You told me to accept my destiny. I did, if you would like to know. I'm still holding you to your promise you know. You better keep that. Or will you throw that away like you did your belief in destiny?

Please don't. Please wait.

Well, this is all the glory and honor the land could offer. I hope you're happy now. I hope you see these damn tears! I hope you—I just hope.

It was my battle to finish—my life to end. Why? It was written, foretold, I told you it was my fate. I was to lead the army against the Lament. I was to die in the hands of Lament. I was to weaken him. I was to try and take him with me. I was born for this war.

I wanted to fight my fate but you told me not to. I trusted you. I accepted my destiny. It was my time. You said you'd wait for me and I said I'd wait for you too. You said in the next life I could do whatever I want. I would be no lady, no sacrifice for the gods. I was so eager to meet you in the next life. Only to see you again and for freedom did I look forward to the end.

They're lighting the torches now. Soon the flames will consume flesh. I don't have much time left.

Your lips are cold. Not to worry, they shall be warm against mine again soon. You promised, Alexi. You better wait.

I got this from the ancient medicine book in father's study, don't worry it won't hurt. It'll be quick, but you know how old books are. Unreliable. I hope I can rely on your promise still, Alexi.

The guards are stepping forward now. They'll soon talk me away. I'll see you soon, Alexi. Wait for me alright?

They're so noisy, Alexi. It's getting darker now, but I'm not scared. I got that mixture right, I added cinnamon so it would taste better. I'll see you soon. You promised.


A/n: well, if you have any questions as to what is going on please feel free to ask. I'm experimenting. reviews are very very very much welcome.I suck at romanceI know.