28Ah hah! My second recommendation...drum roll plz...drum rolls commence
Having Fun Yet?
Love, tampons and punks! What more can you want?
Rated T for language and some devious deeds! A great read, I thoroughly enjoyed it but that may just be me...
Chapter 7- Burnt toast does things to you
When my eyes opened slowly I looked around for what remained of my working alarm clock. I switch the button on the top and blue glared at me from beneath my half shuttered eyelids.
11:30am.
Ah, so that is why light is spilling into the room through my useless curtains. That could possibly make some sense. I don't think I've ever slept this late before on a Saturday. But then again I've had my reasons.
Yesterday went by in a blur. I don't think I spoke more than five words or smiled more than four of my wonderful, charming, beautiful smiles. Okay, so maybe they aren't that wonderful, so sue me.
Greg and Chris cheered me up mostly (Leah was ill, the lucky bitch, hehe) and Greg's friend Nick made me giggle once or twice when he poked me in the sides. I'm really ticklish there and now I have to guard my sides like a cat who has seen a particularly fat pigeon.
I got out of bed, grabbed my sexy black iPod nano and a romance novel. Then I got back under my lovely warm duvet.
I picked up my iPod again and turned it on. The book came next and I spent the next few hours happily reading about a very slow man and an unsure woman (sound kinda familiar?) with Nickleback and the Goo Goo Dolls wailing away contentedly in my ears.
'Oi! Get up, you lazy bugger!' Someone was poking me repeatedly. When I didn't reply or get up they climbed onto what was supposedly my bed and sat on me.
'Get the fuck off of me!' I opened my sleep riddled eyes to see Wena staring at me from her sitting position on my stomach. When I sat up she toppled off and landed in a heap on the floor, laughing.
'Wena, what are you doing in my room?' I asked in a sweetish voice. The trouble with doing a sweetish voice through gritted teeth when you're half awake is that it makes you sound like a rip off version of Polly the Parrot. You know? Squawk...Polly wanna cracker!
'Mum wants your lazy bum downstairs so that you can eat something and talk to you. You fell asleep again and I came to wake you up!' She beamed at me and my anger disintegrated and bubbled along my nervous system. It felt weird but maybe that was just the way Wena was looking at me.
'What?' I asked nervously. Had I lost an ear in my sleep? Was there a big spot on my chin? Was there a dribble patch on my pillow?
'There's someone at the door for you.'
'Who?' Now I was interested. There was no way it could be Chris, unless he was with Leah but she was ill, because we would have met up somewhere. Amie and Charlotte were usually busy on the weekends. Amy was most likely still in bed and Andrew from down the road would have gone away if he knew I was asleep.
Could it be...?
'It's Greg.'
I felt a slight disappointment but it went away quickly and was overtaken by that happy feeling that I always got from seeing Greg.
'And...' Hang on! Did she just say and? Could it be for a second time...?
'Antony.' Awww shi- I mean, err, sugar...
I ran out of the room but was swung around when Wena caught my pyjama top.
'What?!'
She looked down at my attire and I followed her lead. 'I just didn't think you'd want to go downstairs to meet them in pyjama shorts covered with sheep saying "baaaad things happen to baaaad sheep" and your hair sticking out and panda eyes because you forgot to take off your eye make up...again.'
'Oh right.' I said after wiping around my eyes and coming back with black stuff on my fingers. I didn't mean to forget...I just forget.
The shortest shower ever, the removal of my eye make up and a renewed version, and lastly clothes, later saw me downstairs and chatting to Greg and Antony while waiting for my bread to burn- otherwise known as toast.
I got the spread and peanut butter out- and a knife, that always helps- while the guys shifted uncomfortably under the eyes of my mother.
The toast popped up and I went to get both pieces. 'Oh, shit!' Once again I had burned myself using two very hot slices of toast and a toaster. I really am clumsy.
'Well done, Nat!' Antony became victim to a very hot piece of blackened bread.
'You just wasted a perfectly good piece of toast!' Greg told me and in unison we looked at the offended food that was lying, broken, on the floor.
'Ah, but all is not lost quite yet.' Antony spoke in his posh, Shakespearian time voice. He bent down and picked up the bits that I had thrown at him. He then proceeded to put the pieces in his mouth and eat them. 'Ten second rule...except just for a little bit longer.'
Greg and I raised our eyebrows. Well...Greg raised his eyebrow and I attempted to, ending up looking like I was trying to politely pass wind without anyone noticing.
I started eating the remains of my breakfast- watching Antony eat the other half of it made me hungry- only to remember that I hadn't put anything on it. 'Oh, bugger it.' When the others looked at me I realised I had said it out loud. Why does that thing happen when you think what you're supposed to say and you say what you were supposed to think?
Like if a guy asks you how he looks, you think 'you look nice' and you say 'wow, I want me summa that!' One of life's moments when you wish you would be swallowed up by the ground. Not a very pleasant time I must say.
'I'm starting to worry about you, Nat...' Greg told me, while his raised eyebrow was turned on me.
'Starting?' I scoffed.
He laughed. 'Good point.'
The rest of the morning passed somewhat peacefully, if you didn't count Antony's very quick rants about his new type of 'milk'. 'Hey! That's not milk!' Greg was surprisingly slow with that one- you could practically hear him thinking, wait...so, it's not milk...but it's white...ah, right! I get it! It's cream! I took the liberty of telling him that it wasn't milk and it wasn't cream. It was white and sticky and started with c and ended with um.
But, alas, even that dawned slowly on him.
I swear that it's how far the thought has to travel. The brain sends out a thought and it travels around the body.
Right, so we take a left here...or is it a right? Nope! It's right. We want to go to mouth not the ear. Ooooo! We're within a hundred yards of the mouth, I can smell the toothpaste. Wait a minute...is toothpaste supposed to smell of strawberry jelly and coconut marshmallows? Is there even such a thing as coconut marshmallows? Damn it! We missed the turn in about three miles ago! We are in the kneecap, I repeat, we are in the kneecap!
Poor Greg...
After finishing a lunch of peanut butter sandwiches we headed into the town of Bracknell armed with numb-chucks, patriotic hatchets and rusty tweezers and the odd tenner in case we got hungry again. As we entered the town centre all the Burberry wearing, double digit IQ bearers- formally know as chavs- were gathered outside the entrance of JJB Sports. It looked rather like a campaign and some of the 'chavettes' were holding up signs saying things like, 'prises shld b lowerd!' and 'not evryone can offord da cloths!'
And the thing is that not even half of them were blondes! I know I shouldn't judge people by their hair colour- especially since I'm blonde- but the stereotype gets to me. I think it's because I'm so determined to prove that I'm not a bimbo that I don't associate myself with them at all. Sure, I have blonde moments and I'm slightly slow but then doesn't everybody?
'Poor sods.' Antony's boyishly high-pitched voice broke into my thoughts, stopping my reverie short. 'I bet their lack of brain cells doesn't permit them from knowing what a condom is.' I realised that while we had been walking we had come to the entrance of Mothercare, where almost all of the customers looked to be in their late teens and all branded with that suspiciously fake Burberry scarf, hauling around pink or blue prams that held squalling babies. I'm actually surprised that the blankets inside the pram weren't made of Burberry, but then I noticed the bobble hats and woollen socks.
We walked around town for about two hours, dwindling towards the end but then buzzing as we found that skittles mixed in with Dr Pepper is much more effective than caffeine.
On the way around we met some people from school. Nick, Greg's friend who tickled me constantly, joined us to get away from his mother and then I bumped into Becky. She was with her mum, Liz, and her dad, Simon, who invited us to lunch in McDonalds.
Liz and Simon are like my second lot of parents. Ever since that fateful day when I walked up to Becky and said hi in year two, I've been over at their house as much as I can. The only bad thing is that their Dalmatian, Harley, doesn't really like me all that much, but Becky says that he's just too overprotective of the Stewart family.
Bloody dogs.
They don't seem to get on with me. None of them. It might be the fact that I have a cat; in fact, it's the most likely reason for their loud hatred of me. But still...
'Are you alright, Nat? It's just that you've had that burger halfway to your mouth for about ten minutes now.' I looked up and found four pairs of eyes on me. I then looked down at the cheeseburger, which was indeed halfway to my mouth. I completed its journey and finished the whole thing in four big bites.
The others looked stunned. Antony picked up his burger and attempted to do what I had just done.
'Dafghm Ighk.'
'Didn't your mother ever tell you not to talk with your mouth that full?' I asked, looking away from the ketchup drenched sight lurking in Antony's mouth.
'Nogh.'
'How interesting.'
Antony swallowed hard and reached for the big cup that contained more ice cubes than coke. He hid his watering eyes and took a big gulp of the fizzy liquid.
'I said damn it.'
'Why?'
'I did it in five bites. I thought only my mouth was insanely huge. I mean, come on! That was a big burger that Nat had!'
I shrugged it off with a smile curling my lips. 'I get it from my dad.'
Everyone laughed except Becky, who was staring at something behind me. 'I know I don't like the male species much, but I think I'll make an exception for him!' She wolf-whistled just as I was turning around to see who had caught Becky's eyes.
A pair of hauntingly green eyes met mine.
Damn...
Hey everyone! Woot! I finally updated!
I want to dedicate this chapter to the real Greg- Titch! He's a great mate n much more (winks).
how did u like this? I wasn't quite sure about the whole toast thing but I couldn't be bothered to do it all again.
reviews!
Ant woz ere: I do get the point of mums, and I know u'll probably say 'mines worse!' but have u ever had an argument with my mum? she's scary. she intimidates Leah, n that's hard to do! u rant on way 2 much, lol
Vonnie: thanks! I hope u keep on reading!
Ck90: ahhh, brownies joins in drooling chocolate fudge brownies? they're probably my favourite! if I started talking to my friends they'd call me a twat and walk away- well, as far as they could get before Leah needed another chocolate dose. and I agree with u, teachers suck! and exams! I've been told I'm clever but I don't think I do so well in exams. what about u?
Shiney Sianey: yeh, tom is an ass. as is the person who he is based upon. Men! Adam wld work with Nathan because he's kind and actually, Nathan isn't that bad! thanks, it's hard to describe Leah in a story. She's just one of a kind...
the lodger: yeh, she really is like that sometimes- in fact, most of the time!
constructive criticism appreciated! woot!
nat x