Biting on my bottom lip until the skin splits
blood fills my mouth and trickles down my chin
until it cakes and dries, sealing my bruised lips together
just to hold my smile in place (it's easier to pretend)
but cracks are beginning to form
from all the lies I told with my forced laughter
and all I want to do is cry
because I'm not invincible anymore
you taught me that everyone has to break sometime
and I think it's my turn
I'm drunk again and dancing in the rain
twisting and turning, I'm so numb
. . if only for a little while (and I've never felt so alive)
until I slip and fall onto the cold, hard asphalt
and here I am
a dark bruise blossoming on my forehead
from where I crashed back into reality, but nothing else has changed
I'm still just a broken little girl
who had to grow up too fast, but could never keep up
with the world
and I've fallen so far behind
that there's nothing left to save
You think I'm beautiful
because apparently scars can't hurt if they're no longer bleeding
but I was cut open one too many times and
the pieces of my heart were just swept under the rug
along with the dirt and dust and other worthless things
I can't put my life back together again
because the tears in my flesh keep getting larger and
I don't have enough thread
I will only ever be broken beautiful
and I know that will never be enough for you
so I guess that I'll always just be
the second hand whore that
you pretend to love when you feel alone
(and
that makes me happy
like nothing else does)