145A/N: Yes I know, I know, I've been absolutely horrid for keeping you all waiting for SO long... shudders in fear and ducks as a tomato is thrown at her I'm so so sorry! I should have updated sooner! I am dearly hoping that ya'll haven't given up on this story because I haven't! Please, please, please review! Reviews will greatly inspirse me to write! Hahahah! I love you all! Thanks to the following who reviewed the previous chapter:
SuperCuteJensen: Hahaha! I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but I sure am glad that you reviewed!
Shadow of the Black Wolf: Here you go! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Wheresmyprince: Hahahah! I am actually sorely tempted to take Tom away from her... I want him all for myself! Hhahaha!
DeMarshmallow Mistress: Oh... dreadfully sorry for the drama! But I'm glad you like the plot!
"Good morning, Kristianne. I'm Dr. Cullens." The brunette doctor in front of me introduced herself as I took a seat on the plush black leather couch of her office. I had to admit, the office had some calming vibes. I didn't bother to answer her and instead pulled my knees to my chest. I had to give props to this woman, she continued. "How has your day been so far?"
Okay… that's weird; she didn't just jump into the whole issue. I glanced at the clock. Are you shitting me? I apparently still have an hour and a half to go… Right now, talking seems to be the only option. Besides, maybe I can convince her that I'm perfectly okay, and then she'll tell the school who might, just might, finally leave me alone.
Letting out a small sigh, I pushed a lock away from my face and looked her in the eye. "Honestly, it sucks ass. Seriously." Okay… not exactly eloquent, but she did ask.
Dr. Cullens let out a small laugh- and not the fake kind; she actually sounded like what I said truly amused her. "And pray tell why it 'sucked ass'." Another point for use of foul language; dare I say I'm beginning to like her?
"If you must know," I gave her a pointed look. "the whole freaking body treats me like some animal on display." I waited for her to say something, but she simply sat there and waited for me to elaborate. "I'm not… I'm not perfect, you know?" my chest tightened as my eyes connected with hers. Everything I've kept in suddenly longs to rush out. I just feel like I can trust her… after all there is the whole doctor – patient confidentiality. So…should I? Taking a deep breath and using her gaze as an anchor, I continued. "What exactly makes what happened to me fascinating? Why do people feel the need to pity me? Is it because I finally cracked?" I chocked back a sob. "They all thought I was so perfect; straight As in all my honor classes, money to burn, the hot boyfriend, soccer and badminton skills to admire, as well as dancing and singing talent that many would die for. They all thought I had it all. But I fucking don't. I don't care that I'm model material or that my IQ is amazing. It's just nothing to me."
"And why is that so?"
"There are far more important things than all that."
"Like what?"
I tore my eyes away from her and stared at the wall. "Perhaps… family." It came out as a soft whisper, one that barely made its way to my own ears; but she heard it, I knew she did.
"Would you like to talk about it?"
I shrugged and met her gaze once more. "It's nothing." A forced laugh escaped my lips. Surprising me, Dr. Cullens didn't push the topic and instead switched to another one. "I recall seeing you once with a tall boy… I believe his name is Thomas?"
I instantly found a smile slowly finding its way across my face. "Yes… Thomas. Where did you see us?" Don't tell me she had been spying on me in some way- that will just make me hate her.
Dr. Cullens seemed to weigh her words before speaking, "In the hospital wing." My body stiffened at her words. She had been there that night. "Are you two involved?" I am glad that she didn't simply leave it at that, and for some weird reason, I am grateful that she did not keep that information away from me… It's as if she does not see me to be as fragile as everyone else does; or perhaps, she is simply testing how broken I truly am.
Swallowing the lump that had found its way to my throat, I replied. "Yes… we are. He's great. He's actually the one who convinced me to come and see you."
"He did? I must remember to thank him. May I ask why you were so opposed to the idea of seeing a psychiatrist?"
I let out a bitter laugh. "You're seriously asking me that question?" Dr. Cullens simply nodded in affirmation before I continued. "Growing up in a world of money, one comes to know of a psychiatrist as a doctor who treats crazy people – rich kids who've grown to be addicted to drugs, desperate housewives who've become alcoholics, and uncles who went crazy from a crash in their stocks. Well I'm not crazy; that bastard may have hurt me, but I am not crazy." My eyes flashed with rage at the thought of such a thing. I'm not crazy, so how dare they deem me to be as such.
"No, you aren't crazy, Kristianne. You simply need to find a way to cope with what happened to you."
"I am coping." I snarled. God… I didn't mean to come off so rough, but I'm just fed up of all this crap.
"Are you?" she raised a speculative eyebrow at me.
"Look, can we please just get back to our original topic?"
"So Thomas and you must be very open with each other." Just like that, she dropped the issue.
"Yup… We started off as enemies, then we became friends, best friends and now… well, I love him." I shrugged and continued. "It's just funny."
"What is?"
"That after everything… he still loves me. He doesn't seem to care that I'm…" I caught myself before I said the word and instead trailed off.
"That you're what?" Dr. Cullens' voice was soft, and I could feel the tension in the room grow.
"That I'm dirty." I looked up to meet her gaze once more. "I don't understand how someone, how anyone can love me after all that has been done to me." I chocked back another sob. "I just don't see how someone like him could want me when I have nothing to offer. Why does he love me when my own flesh and blood doesn't even see me?"
"Because you are much more than you think you are. Thomas loves you because he sees something in you that you cannot bear to see for yourself." Dr. Cullens made her way beside me. "You aren't dirty; you never were. You just have to realize that." And then she wrapped her arms around me as I finally broke. The tears came pouring down my face as my body heaved with sobs. Reluctantly, I let her embrace me, but soon enough I let myself fall into the warmth of her embrace and simply… cried, for in this moment I knew that there simply wasn't anything else I could do.