it's only her eyes that've changed, (irises incised watching a life slip by),
spent outwaiting a current she is in the deluging (deluding) storm's eye but
there's no way out i said to her, once you've reached (temporary) refuge
(and surrounded by what she hates most the unmemorized wind closes in
and begins to tear at her skin)
she exists by rote insists "i stopped believing" and i
almost believe her,
she who knows what it means to be weak, living on and on (and i tell her i understand;
she who is unable to control the powers that be, made by man.
and she says, "save me but not if it hurts (inside)" and i comply
I dreamt she knew i was there and
she quoted like a stranger, began "confined to my world." and i finished; "i am slowly becoming useless."
(and i dreamt i said i didn't love you; i dreamt that you were dead)
she is a frozen sky, ethereal and worthless,
a momentglory divided by eternity; with practiced certainty she
burns pain and in vain with the ashes
etches her name in brittle characters (and all to ascertain a world that cannot exist)-
"don't give away the ending yet" she says childignorant when i read to her (but she's
easy to read) so even though she is tantris, deservedly helpless
i pretend and spare her (and read her
her happy ending-
it was only in the beginning that she refused to comprehend the metaphor of the sun
she deathbed-whispers the synopsis of her reincarnation to me, if this time can be different she
wants to take scrapped-away sin steeped
in (holy) water and paint with the darkness solitude ("a refuge" she says and
i will be there to sanctify)
soundless waves and sky all deathless, signals of her imminent re-apocalypse (her
sine qua non, the which that she cannot be without) ,all Persephone, having bound herself willingly
and waits to be found. fancying herself alone, she trods a wide path
paved with fading sheets of paper, beaten hard to hell. i love her and let her because she
is happiest dying.
devastated by words she said to me once, "isn't it sweet
that nobody stays to listen" and it became a question (and i didn't know what to reply.)