Reflection

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I looked so normal but I wasn't! I stared at the rather ugly face that stared at me, too. I sighed and pulled my low pony tail out and flipped my head forward and back, my long blond hair fall across my shoulders perfectly. I was someone different now, someone different from the person I was just looking at seconds ago.

I was two faced. 'No.' I thought solemnly. I was well rounded, so well rounded in fact, I was pretty sure I could roll. I snorted and tied my hair into a quick, messy bun. Yet another person stared at me. I could change my appearance so easily and become unrecognizable and I do not exaggerate. A little makeup changed my whole face, more eye liner, mascara, and less of everything else changed my face yet again.

Hell, I don't even need make up, just the different hair styles was enough, though most seemed to resemble others. All of them seemed to split me into three people, different sides of different people. I had so many faces that all belonged to me, all represented me.

It was just like my personality, that had many sides too. With some I was happy and free, confident and mischievous. With others I was quite and collected. With many I was patient, with some I was short tempered. Some people brought out a coldness in me that you would never guess I had if you saw me at any other time. Some brought out the very best in me.

'No, I'm not bipolar or unbalanced...' I smiled a strange smile at my self, it reflected how I felt, just as it reflected my outer image. All of it was me, I was so many things that none of it showed at once. Then again, none of it was me.

Everyone only knows one me, no one sees the truth. I locked eyes with my self and sighed. So who would I be tonight? I grabbed some eye liner and carefully applied it, trying no to poke out my blue eyes. Eyes so many have told me are endless. How can anything so closed off be endless?I applied some eye shadow and lipstick and stepped back.

My eyes matched the dark blue dress that I was wearing, a dress that had tiny white flowers sprinkled here and there. I dare not say the dress matched my eyes because nothing truly matched me. I grabbed to curling iron from beside and pulled out my bun simultaneously.

This was something I had yet to do, a me I knew so fondly but did not know. This would be me if the past had matched the present. If I hadn't left. I continued the agonizingly slow task of twisting my hair and just thought. Thought about what had been.

'No.' That word seemed to echo in my head a lot and I usually listened, but this time I couldn't, I don't know why either. "What's wrong with me?" I whispered aloud. This too echoed in my mind often.

I no longer clung to my friends as I used to. Once upon a time I relied on them. I couldn't do that now and even if I could I wouldn't. I didn't know if now was worse then back then. I now clung to memories and people that should be long forgotten, I rely on the past. At one point it was a way to survive. Now I was...obsessed.

'No.' I tightly shut my eyes and carefully put the hot metal object on the counter. When I opened my eyes I didn't recognize the person staring back. I was better now! I could do this now. I was back here now and I didn't need the past, I didn't need the memories. I would make new ones with new friends. 'From an old place.' I looked away from my reflections and buckled the strap on my shoes. It was time to go.

I was going to dance in the night ofjust me. No, not me, who I used to be. I would go back, just this once and then never look back. 'Yes.' I turned back to the mirror one last time, appalled and pleased my appearance all at once. The was the end of the end and the beginning of what should have started years ago.

'That'sonly what you hope...'I had only myself to rely on. '...To many faces.'