I tried to teach myself not to feel

Or at least not to feel too much

Feelings made me vulnerable

I think I learned that early on

When you show a weakness

Everyone pounces seeing blood

I just get ripped up in the end

To crawl away with scars that don't heal

So I don't feel as much as I can

There are moments when I have a desire

To let go of the wall I surround myself with

But each time I get stabbed in the end

Others don't understand why I hold back

Maybe because I've been torn apart over and over again

With barely anything holding me together

I don't enjoy trying to be like stone

But I can't be anything else