Realize with this one thing that I have to say

That I don't care if you hate me anymore

You can leave me broken, lying on the floor

You can laugh, taunt and even call me a whore

But does it look like I care about what you think

The words you're saying, I know they're lies

So why is it that deep down inside, it still hurts?

I try to act all cool, but I still worry about my thighs

And whether I'll ever fit into those cute jeans

This self-consciousness is killing me

It's tearing out my inards and laying them out

In the middle of the room for all to see

I can't seem to find anywhere that I feel safe

But you don't know this 'cause I hold my head high

And look straight ahead, no emotion on my face

So no one will notice me, or the tears I want to cry

I feel so alone, hanging out with my "friends"

They don't seem to understand how I feel

Talking about who in my class is gay

They don't realize the pain I feel is real

It will take more then "I'm sorry" to heal me

More than " I wish this never happened"

Or "I just didn't notice you, you're so quiet"

How can it when no one tries to amend

These people I call my "Friends" don't care

They ditched me before and they'll do it again

For some one who's cooler than me, so I wait

And I smile while my emotions go down the drain

I wanna friend who won't let go, no matter what

I wanna friend who will come over to cheer me up

To be there when I'm suicidal, and when I'm not

To walk up when I'm all alone, just to say "sup"

Someone to understand my insanity, and maturity

I want a friend who wants to be my friend

And doesn't want to use and abuse me

And who doesn't feel the need to pretend

Maybe one day I'll find my one true friend

For now I'll sit with my "friends", rotting away

Not saying a word about how I really feel

And every night, to have a friend, I pray.