Realize with this one thing that I have to say
That I don't care if you hate me anymore
You can leave me broken, lying on the floor
You can laugh, taunt and even call me a whore
But does it look like I care about what you think
The words you're saying, I know they're lies
So why is it that deep down inside, it still hurts?
I try to act all cool, but I still worry about my thighs
And whether I'll ever fit into those cute jeans
This self-consciousness is killing me
It's tearing out my inards and laying them out
In the middle of the room for all to see
I can't seem to find anywhere that I feel safe
But you don't know this 'cause I hold my head high
And look straight ahead, no emotion on my face
So no one will notice me, or the tears I want to cry
I feel so alone, hanging out with my "friends"
They don't seem to understand how I feel
Talking about who in my class is gay
They don't realize the pain I feel is real
It will take more then "I'm sorry" to heal me
More than " I wish this never happened"
Or "I just didn't notice you, you're so quiet"
How can it when no one tries to amend
These people I call my "Friends" don't care
They ditched me before and they'll do it again
For some one who's cooler than me, so I wait
And I smile while my emotions go down the drain
I wanna friend who won't let go, no matter what
I wanna friend who will come over to cheer me up
To be there when I'm suicidal, and when I'm not
To walk up when I'm all alone, just to say "sup"
Someone to understand my insanity, and maturity
I want a friend who wants to be my friend
And doesn't want to use and abuse me
And who doesn't feel the need to pretend
Maybe one day I'll find my one true friend
For now I'll sit with my "friends", rotting away
Not saying a word about how I really feel
And every night, to have a friend, I pray.