I looked over at the man lying next to me and thought about that night. It hadn't been easy for either of us. We hadn't figured out what we wanted out of our relationship and I was walking away. I was patiently waiting for a cab because I had just ran out of the restaurant with tears in my eyes and a temper that would make anyone want to back off. My hands were shoved in my pockets, my hair was wind blown, and my makeup was running. I felt at that moment so alone. There was nothing more I wanted to do other than curl up into a ball and fade away. I was going to attempt to do that at my apartment and it was a good thing a cab pulled up. I got in and directed the cabbie where to go.
I was at my apartment in five minutes and twenty dollars later. It was nothing fancy, but it was enough for me. After all I had lived with my six brothers, my mother, and father back home and this was the closest to heaven for me.
I fumbled with my keys because my hands were shaking horribly. At that moment I knew I was going to be a wreck and miserable. I had been with Andrew for a year and a half. It was a beautiful year, but after that it started to go down hill. He had just gotten a position of vice president of a company that was bound to accelerate in the corporate world. His father had had a heart attack and Andrew started drinking. I couldn't stand it after awhile because I gave him space and time to morn the fact that he had almost lost his father. When he left for work one morning I had taken all of the liquor and beer and poured it down the drain. It was refreshing and just the boost I needed.
When he got home that night he was bummed about how he had not slept in awhile. I shook my head and gave him a smile. I told him that I loved him and that I loved him enough to stop him from doing something stupid. He bowed his head and started crying. I comforted him until he fell asleep.
That marked a new beginning for Andrew. He started to work out again and he was now having fun. We began a more intimate relationship. It was more than love as a couple more months progressed and here I was broken hearted, standing at my apartment door. I walked in silently and when I shut the door I broke down and cried against the door. I'm not sure how long I sat against the door in that position, but what I did remember was a constant knocking. I had no energy to answer it and no will. Suddenly the knocking stopped. I didn't care though. I just wanted to die right there. Then I heard a key go into the slot and the door was pushing me aside to let in the person on the other side.
I looked up and I saw the man I loved just stand there with wet hair. The only thing that could be heard was the water tattering onto the floor from his beautiful brown hair. Just the look of him made my heart flutter, but what did it matter, we were nothing more. We were just another after thought in the big world that is known as reality. The more I thought about it though the angrier I got. I stood up and slapped him.
"How dare you! Huh, why is that every time I am selfless I always get treated like shit! Why?" The words were hissed from my mouth and all he did was stand there with his hand on his cheek.
I looked at him with an intensity that would send Hitler on the run. He solemnly looked at me and whispered, "I'm sorry." Just those words made me screech and I picked up the nearest thing and flung it at him.
Everything was in slow motion. He saw it coming and ducked at the last second. A smash was heard and then nothing. I looked over to see that it was a picture of us in the park kissing.
I broke down right then and there, hitting the floor with a thud. Andrew at his ducking position crawled over to me. He took me in his arms and rocked with me. I had to energy to stop him; I was in too deep and drained. Andrew being Andrew whispered soft sentiments into my ear trying to calm me, it worked.
And that's how I woke up. I remembered the previous night and after that, nothing.
Waking up beside him was better than being alone. Truthfully I don't know how the fight really started and just thinking about it made me laugh. I was lucky to have him beside me right now.
Smiling I ran finger along his jaw. He was here and that's all that mattered. I felt an arm around me tighten, looking down I saw it was his and looked back to his face to find blue eyes staring at me. Again my hand was on his cheek, caressing it. He slowly leaned in and kissed me, it felt invigorating and blissful. His tongue caressed mine and did the dance of love. I sighed into his mouth and he smiled.
Looking at him made me blush and I looked away. He turned my face so I again was looking into those soul-wrenching eyes.
"Haydee, I love you so much, I don't want to lose you because of this." Sighing I took his hand from under the covers and kissed them. A tear ran down my cheek and he it brushed away.
"I love you too," was all I could say. He smiled his beautiful smile and kissed me again, but this time it was a kiss with urgency. We ended up taking our clothes off and making love. It had been awhile, but we were so in tuned with each other's body and emotions that we just let everything go. Words of love were spoken and promises made. When we were done all we could do was hold each other and then we fell into an oblivious sleep.
I was the first to wake, again. I looked at Andrew beside me and smiled. I placed a kiss on his cheek and quietly as I could I got out of bed to make him breakfast.
In the kitchen I put on some light music and started cracking eggs. I put some toast in the toaster and I was about to make coffee when I felt hands on my waist, I gasped slightly and turned around in his arms. I kissed him and was about to turn away when he deepened it. At the same time a song came on and we started swaying to the music.
They say love keeps on growing I know why the heart gets lonely Tell me why the road keeps turning I know why the heart gets lonely All you say is so overrated I know why the heart gets lonely I know why the heart gets lonely Fade away...
It's the one thing that I've felt I've always known
Cause it wouldn't matter where you're going
Cause where you are is where I wanna go
Every time you give your love away
And if you think that you are only
A shadow in the wind
Rolling round but when you go and let somebody in
They might fade away
When everything you want is straight ahead
And every thing I thought worth learning
Is forgotten when I see your face instead
Every time you give your love away
And if you think that you are only
A shadow in the wind
Rolling round but when you go and let somebody in
They might fade away
Holding on to yesterday
Along the way, it can get too complicated to say
Every time YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE away
And if you think that you are only
A shadow in the wind
You better think again
Every time you give your love away
And if you think that you are only
Flowers in the wind
Blowin' round the wind
You let somebody in they might fade away
When the song ended we were still swaying and I had my head resting on his shoulder. His hands were making circle motions on my back. We were drowned in our thoughts.
I was deep in my thoughts when a pair of callused hands came to my face and then I was looking at him. Once more we kissed and my head was back on his shoulder.
Whispering softly he asked, "Haydee, will you marry me?" I snorted loudly and my eyes began to fill. I stayed in the same position and whispered back, "I wouldn't have any other way."
We stayed that way until Andrew couldn't take it anymore. I whisked me off of my feet and headed towards the bedroom with thoughts of loving.
After we were done I stared into space thinking about how I was so fortunate to have Andrew. He was my everything and I wouldn't give it up, not for a career or someone else, he would be the death of me. I loved him and he loved me. It was enough. I drifted to sleep with thoughts of the future.
I know it is random and there probably are some mistakes, but I didn't really mind because it was a spure of the moment idea. I was feeling gushy and sad. I hope you like it. If not that's ok. Well R&R!
Nikkole
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