Chronicles - The Disaster That Would Be, if we all lived together…
Part 3 – Operation Evil Plan – Lamia
Breakfast had passed with only one food fight, a rare occurrence in the Inzano household. Bob and George (the two cleaning robots) had cleaned up the kitchen, but it still had an unpleasant smell to it.
Helene was attempting to sleep at the table, but she couldn't because Krystal kept on tickling her nose with a feather.
We were waiting for Sarah to finish eating.
In the mean time I was scribbling in my notebook about how I could add improvements to the guard leopard. Nobody bothers helping me anymore, they all still think my notebook is in code… really I just have horrible handwriting.
When Sarah finally finished eating, we were all stumped as to what we could do… usually we spend the time after breakfast, yelling at each other, but we didn't have the energy. The hyper events of the morning had tired us.
"I'm going for a swim," Krystal suddenly decided.
"You can't," Helene stated, raising her head off the table. "The pool's still full of great white sharks from Thea's torture day."
"Great white sharks… pfft…" Krystal waved a hand dismissively. "No stupid great white sharks are going to stop me from swimming, when I really want to!"
At this insane comment we all perked up. There was nothing quite as amusing as watching a person scream in terror at a great white shark. Just look at how popular Jaws was.
Sarah just had to try to talk Krystal out of it though. "Krystal… They're great white sharks…"
At this comment Krystal, (being Peior from the Inzanos, therefore incurably insane) took offence. "What! You think I'm so weak that some shark will stop me swimming?!"
This statement was so stupid it didn't justify a response. Helene and I just looked at each other, trying to stifle our laughter.
So when Krystal went outside to the pool, we all followed after her like puppies, following the trail of sure-fire amusement with our sensitive noses.
When Krystal reached the point where she could see the pool properly, she paused before walking onwards. The sharks were large and very menacing, but she couldn't turn back without losing face. She was aiming to swim in the shallow section away from most of the sharks. She cautiously dipped a toe in the water.
"Ahhhhh!" she screamed in pure terror, and jumped back as a shark swam a little closer.
The three of us not mad enough to attempt swimming in shark infested water, erupted in laughter.
Krystal looked a little sheepish. Then involuntarily she started laughing too. "It's not funny!" she protested, attempting to be angry.
This just made the rest of us laugh harder.
"Are you done being amusingly stupid?" Helene asked Krystal bluntly. "'Cause if the show's over I'm going to go read in my room."
Krystal glowered at Helene. Sarah and I looked at each other trying not to burst out in laughter again. Helene shrugged and went back into the house.
Sarah, Krystal and I were still outside, lying on the sunbathing chairs. We hadn't been bothered to move. We were alternating sleeping with ignoring Krystal's inane comments about a kamikaze watermelon.
Helene was still inside, presumably reading.
Our phones rang simultaneously. For all of our phones to ring it had to be a message from one of the house's systems. Krystal and I let Sarah pick up.
"What is it?" I asked after she hung up.
Sarah had a glint in her eye. "This is a proximity alert," she mimicked the annoying voice of the system. "Unknown people are outside garage B." She swapped her voice back to normal. "I say we have a little fun." Her look begged us to agree.
We grinned our evil inzano grins and exchanged high fives.
"Are you guys coming or what?" Helene's bored voice came from the top floor.
We assembled inside by the main computer. In the security mainframe I selected the camera and microphone for Garage B.
The unknown persons were three drunken frat boys.
One wore a red baseball cap backwards and seemed to be in charge. "Yeah, this is where those crazy freaks live…" he slurred to the others.
They laughed stupidly on cue.
The four of us glared at the monitor as one.
"Operation evil plan?" I asked.
"Hell yeah…" agreed Krystal.
Sarah and Helene nodded.
"Right on! Operation evil plan activate!" I announced.
The door to Garage B rolled up. The three drunk frat boys, without stopping to question why, giggled at their luck and decided to investigate those crazy freak's mansion.
They looked on with awe at Krystal's shiny red sports car which took up most of Garage B. "Dude!" cried the frat boy with a blue t-shirt that said 'the best'. "We should so totally scratch it!"
Krystal's eyes opened wide with horror. "Noooooo!"
They laughed stupidly again. "Yeah…" said the guy with baseball cap.
I smiled innocently at Krystal. "Ooops."
"Stop them! You have to stop them!" she screamed wildly.
Helene clapped her hands excitedly.
"As much as I'd love to see Krystal break down in tears. You should probably distract them," Sarah told me.
"Ummm…" I said. I pressed a few buttons, wondering if anyone could be stupid enough to fall for what I had planned.
The door out of Garage B and into the mansion opened. The frat boys turned to look at it. "Ooooh! Cake!" yelled the other frat boy who was very fat. They raced through the door immediately forgetting about Krystal's car.
She breathed a sigh of relief.
"Let the fun begin!" insisted Helene. The button of certain doom was pushed.
The door behind the frat boys closed. A low moan resounded through the house. Even knowing what it was it still creeped us out.
"What was that?" cried cake frat boy forgetting about his cake which was only a hologram anyway.
The other two frat boys shivered. "I don't know man…" whispered the one with the red baseball cap.
A door creaked open not so far away from the frat boys. Nails clicked on the tiled floor. "Oh shit!" swore the one with the blue t-shirt. "There's something there!"
We evil inzanos started laughing at their terrified faces.
"I feel sorry for them," murmured Helene.
The three of us looked at her incredulously.
"What?" she demanded. "I wouldn't like to be in their place."
Sarah rolled her eyes.
Then the frat boys got a good look at what was chasing them.
It was hideous. A very failed attempt of mine at genetically engineering a guard leopard. Scary music out of a horror movie started playing as it walked slowly towards them.
They screamed and ran away.
Krystal fell off her chair laughing and started rolling on the floor. It was absolutely hilarious! What's more, we had it on tape! We could watch whole thing again and again!
We watched, almost choking ourselves laughing as they ran away from the practically harmless mutation.
One of them found a phone and desperately started dialling.
"He's probably going to call his mummy!" mocked Sarah.
We all laughed again.
"Oh God! Oh God! Help us! We're in the Inzano mansion and there's monsters out to get us!" he screamed into the phone.
A tired office voice replied, "Sir, how much have you had to drink?"
"I swear! There's monsters!"
The voice on the other end sighed. "Look. Ordinarily I'd fine you for being a nuisance to the police, but we've had reports from other people about some pretty weird stuff going on up there. We'll send someone over."
"The police?" squeaked Krystal.
"My mum will kill me," worried Sarah.
"Oh my God, I have a police record and I'm not even nineteen yet!" groaned Helene.
"We could always hack the police files…" I suggested.
"Isn't that illegal and wrong?" Helene replied automatically.
"Are we caring?" I asked in confusion.
A few minutes later the police file on Inzano mansion looked like this.
Location: We're not going to tell you that! Helene… It's going to look a little suss if they don't have any information at all! I don't care! You should never tell strangers where you live!
Occupants: Four normal college students… very very normal, nothing interesting at all… As if! Four very hot college students! As awesome as hell, that couldn't possible be conceived as normal! KRYSTAL! Well… I'm hot!
Suspicious Activity: Whistles and twiddles thumbs what suspicious activity, officers? Heh heh heh… If they actually had a proper list on this it would be miles long. Don't you mean kilometres? We're not Americans Helene…
AN: The last looks a lot better in Word where I had different fonts and colours for each person. For here I just turned bold on or off when the person changed.