19

20 I'm almost there

But I'm not moving anywhere

Not future to speak of and a past I hide like dirty magazines

I wake up find a clean top and try not to miss the bus in to college

I sit watching cars checking my phone to see if I've still got no messages

On Sundays I wake up early force food down my neck and walk slowly to the bus stop

Wait in the cold watch the same people pass

Watch the woman look for change around the phone boxes

Stand at work brain dead smiling for the customer

And try not to tell them that no one likes me here

And I know it!

Apart from Jane

They think I'm thick

But I smile for the customers

I make jokes

Skip small talk

Steer out in to clothes rails till my eye blur over

Monday bring dull hours forcing my self to think of new ideas

Artist my ass

It's all fading away

University?

Grades falling

Time spent wasted

Many know my secrets

But who knows me!

I forget the past but it come back like harsh winder air it bring tears and pain

But it all ok I've got another year

Then I need to decide almost 20

And all I want now is to be me

19

Failing slightly at college

Always missing buses

Not enjoying work

A lightweight

Sarcastic bitch another year to …

Be me to play at finding my self

What do I want?