Chasing After Tumbleweeds...Or A Ranting We Will Go.
(Slightly revised and re-editted -March 3, 2006)

Stuck in Cowboy County and nothing else to do around here, but watch the cattle promenade down main street…when I would rather be somewhere across the Atlantic and a little less hormonally frustrated right now…

What uncreatively-boring, TV-Zombie lives some Americans lead (now of course I don't mean you, kind reader) …like those who left comments on the Belzer page at —from one fanatic extreme to the other. I couldn't get the site to let me leave any message.

So here is my message to the entire gamut of folks out there (mildly understated, of course):

Y'all, would you just go get a life of your own—go make love to your husband or clean up whatever that was that dumped out of your head—and stop trying to borrow someone else's life! Look he really isn't going to see your comment wishing him happy birthday. If you want to wish someone Happy Birthday—mail him or her a card for crying out loud! Like you couldn't figure that out—you can write to Richard Belzer, in care of Law & Order Studios? Are you that scared of rejection—his birthday's the same day as yours, so what's your problem? (You know, if you would just do a little research, you might find an address in France, even—that is if you really cared…) Hey, life's too short to be a lemming, guys—put your brain back in and do something creatively original with what's left of your days on Earth…please, before I knock a hole in the basement wall instead of knocking some sense in your head. (Ouch…now my hand hurts.)

Which leads into my personal definitions of these words:

Fanatic: a whiner who leaves their brain at the door and follows a famous person around and around like a puppy dog and complains when the celebrity doesn't have time to find it for them. (I actually had this happen to me... after winning first prize in the costume contest at an sf convention once—acted out my part like everyone else in front of judges and convention goers…and now I have a fan? Look I like real puppies, but I have no earthly idea where you put your brain...honest. Perhaps the hotel staff can help. I have enough trouble keeping track of my keys.)

Admirer: Someone who intelligently recognizes the creative talent and professionalism of someone else, honoring him or her with the kindness and respect they deserve. (Look up Desiderata…even if they have a culturally demeaning job or are still an amateur…uhm…that's French, isn't it?) That kind of someone will keep fanatics away, even if it means missing the chance to talk to the one he or she admires.

Fond of /Fondness: To see someone as they are and unconditionally accept them with agape—like a brother or a sister. (Teasing is allowed, but turnabout is fair play...)

Kind Regards to all and to all c'est la vie,


P.S. - that we should all strive toward the last two areas... caring for one another.

"…let us pledge allegiance to compassion, humanity and each other." -Richard Belzer, July 4, 2005.

Without an allegiance to Providence and compassion, there is no pledge of allegiance to one's country. "When America ceases to be good, she ceases to be great…" (Who said that…I forgot. Oh yeah...Alec de Toqueville, a French guy.)

A/N: A Very Gentle Warning - As the founder of the Laughter Safety Valve Commission™, I entirely respect professionals and honor those who have passed on. If my writing regarding these professionals is taken out of the tributary context as originally written and used in an exploitative manner of any kind-I forgive cat not so forgiving... (Please... Your sensibility is truly appreciated. Kindest of regards, Reni.)