"Kathleen Thompson, traumatized patient" read the folder that sat on the desk. The room was dimly lit and was filled with books. It was definitely a change from the bright white lights that I was use to.
"KathleenHow are you today?" said a voice from the desk.
I curled myself deeper into a ball. Who was this voice? Where was it coming from? Why was I so cold?
"Hmmokay. Do you know why you're here?" he continued to ask.
I shook my head, knowing exactly why I was there.
"Would you like to explain what happened?"
"No." I said quickly.
"What was your relationship withhim?" He hesitated.
"Why does it matter?" I snapped back.
"I'm just curious." He shrugged.
"I was his girlfriend."
"His girlfriend? For how long?" He continued to ask, like I had something he wanted to know.
"Yes, his girlfriend, and for about two years."
"That longwow, were you twoclose?" He kept hesitating like he was afraid I might break underneath the weight of his words.
"I guess you could say we were." I shrugged, feeling that feeling in my stomach again.
"Anything special about him?"
"Not really" I said plainly.
"What did you two usually do?" He said, looking me straight in the eyes.
I frozeI couldn't thinkall I could think of was that night, what happenedhow it happenedwhy it happened
"Did you love him?" He said, trying to grab back my attention.
Of course I loved himOf course I love him
"Kathleen? Kathleen?" I heard him say my name, but it was like I was hearing his voicehe was saying it again, sweetly in my ear. I could feel the scruff of his beard against my cheek and his breath in my ear. "Kathleen? Kathleen, I love you."
"I love you too." I whispered softly to myself.
"Kathleen?" said the voice. His voice brought me back to reality. "Kathleen, are you okay?"
I felt the tears stream down my face. "Of course I loved him."
"Do you know what happened that night?"
I just looked at himI wouldn't say anything. I couldn't say anything because it wasn't real. It never happened. I loved himhe loved mehe wasn't gone
"Kathleen? Can you tell me what happened?" He said, continuing to bug me about something I knew never happened. "Kathleen?"
"SHUT UP!" I all of a sudden screamed.
The doctor was taken back by my sudden outburst. It even startled me a little.
"Maybe that's enough for today, you can go now Kathleen." He said, taking off his glasses and cleaning them in his shirt.
I got up from the comfy chair and walked out the door, back into the world of white.