THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN WEENIE AND HERB IN:
...AND THE CHEESE STANDS ALONE
"Here's your gruel, Pickenlook," the angry guard shouted, sliding a gray tray with gray food into the cell, "Eat up or else!"
Eugene Pickenlook eyed the food distastefully before turning his head, "If you don't remember, imbecile. I only eat cheese—moist cheese."
"I'll give you some moist cheese!" the guard threatened.
Pickenlook turned back to gazing out of the window, glaring at the sun-his enemy.
The sun, that great ball of fire gets me so riled up! I must find a way to destroy it forever! Then and only then will I have my dream fulfilled! A world in total darkness without the heat of the sun to dry up moist cheese!
He rubbed his hands together sinisterly. A plan was already in the works.
3 weeks later...
Mike Lawrence sighed happily. After all this time of following that nincompoop, he was finally free.
3 days earlier…
"Mike, bad news," Paul Farley said, pulling up a chair next to him in the school cafeteria.
"Everyone in this town has finally come to their senses and realized what a complete idiot you are?" he asked hopefully.
Paul laughed, "Of course not. You know that'll never happen," he said, hitting Mike on the back, "But seriously. My grandfather Zeus Farley, is visiting my aunt in New York and they invited my family for a little reunion."
"So you're leaving town?" Mike asked eagerly.
"Only for the week," Paul said, "I know this must come as a shock to you, having to bear the week without me. I mean I can only imagine what-Mike?" Paul looked around as he found Mike gone, "Mike?"
He turned around and saw his friend running out of the cafeteria shouting with joy, dancing down the halls.
Paul shook his head sadly, "That's right, put up that fake mask of happiness to hide the pain. It's okay, I understand," Paul turned back to his fish and fluff sandwich, "Poor kid, he must be crying his eyes out in the bathroom right now."
"Stop talking to yourself geek!" someone shouted, throwing their biscuit at his head.
Mike still remembered that day with fondness. And now for three whole days, he would have the city of Roquefort all to himself without any interference from Captain Weenie. Herb would be Roquefort's #1 superhero, just like it should have always been.
He looked both ways before crossing the street, which was a good thing too. Just as he was about to step down into the street, a black luxury car sped down the street recklessly, swerving all over before skidding and crashing into a fire hydrant. The hydrant busted and the car caught on fire.
"Help! Someone help whatever poor person is inside!" a woman pushing a stroller shouted, "I'm sure it could be a helpless family with a puppy and a really cute baby or something!"
Mike ran behind a building and quickly transformed into Herb.
A crowd gathered around the flaming car as Herb flew to the scene.
"Step back everyone," he said to the bystanders, "I'll take care of this."
He yanked opened the door to pull out the passengers inside but found no one.
"Huh?" he asked confused, looking around the car, "How can there be no one inside?" Suddenly the glove compartment opened up and released a gas that gave him a lightheaded feeling until he passed out.
Secret location (so secret, we're not even sure it's a location)...
Herb regained consciousness groggily. He found himself strapped to a chair in a strange place with men and women in suits staring at him.
"Where am I?' he asked, looking around, "Who are you people?"
"We can't answer that," the man at the desk said, "That information is classified."
"Who are you?" Herb asked.
"That information is classified as well," he said, walking around the desk, "Richard Wrath, director of NO ONE. The National Organization of Operations n' Espionage. N.O. O.N.E."
"I see," Herb said slowly, "So why am I here?"
"You ask an awful lot of questions for someone we've never met before," Wrath said suspiciously.
"You were the ones who kidnapped me, remember?!"
"I'll take that as an excuse," Wrath said, "For now. Now, we don't have time to play ring around the rosy, son, this is a matter of national security."
"What's going on?"
Wrath tossed a file to Herb but because he was tied up, the file landed on his lap and slipped unto the floor.
"Three days ago, a nuclear physicist by the name of Ivana Sanvich was kidnapped from her home in Lithuania. Dr. Sanvich is a world renowned scientist known for her work with nuclear fission based on the actions of the sun." Wrath explained, "We believe that she was kidnapped in order to complete some grand scheme of a villain's plan."
"So what does this have to do with me?"
"Didn't you read the file, kid?!" Wrath asked testily. He glanced down at on it on the floor, "Oh, I see, this doesn't interest you so you just toss it aside?!" he went over and untied Herb, "Fine, then get out of here!"
"No, I couldn't-"
"The United States government has no time to play games with you, scout!" Wrath shouted, "Now get out of here!"
"Wait!" Herb said, getting up, "I want to help, just tell me what this has to do with me?"
"We've been tracking stolen parts of nuclear warheads from the Russian black market being shipped into Roquefort by the boatloads," Wrath said.
"And you think this has to do with Sanvich?" Herb asked.
"Do you have a better theory, slugger?!" he shouted, "Because I'd like to hear it!"
"No, no," Herb said, holding up his hands, "I just wanted to make sure we're on the same page. So you guys brought me here to help find out where those stolen warheads are going and what Sanvich is doing with them?"
"The American government knows that you and your partner, Captain Hoohoo, or whatever his name is, are the main men here in this town," Wrath told him, "We know everything about you. We even know your true identities...Chester."
"Uh...my name's not Chester," Herb said.
"Oh nevermind! Dumb CIA," he said, heading back to his desk, "We don't know what's going down but we know it's going down soon," he tossed him a communicator, "Use this to get in touch with us. You don't have much time."
"Right," Herb said, leaving, "Don't worry. I'll get to the bottom of this."
"Where are you going?" Wrath asked, "We have to blindfold you and drop you off in the middle of city. You can't leave here or else you'll know where we are."
"Isn't this the basement of the high school?" Herb asked, looking around.
Wrath sighed, "Nuts. Just get out of here, peewee."
Scummy side of Roquefort...
Herb figured the best way to find Sanvich and the nukes was to get the word on the street. He sought out his source to feed him some info.
"So what's the skinny, Frankie?" Herb asked him.
"Why do you think I'm going to tell you anything, superchump?!" Frankie snapped.
"Because your name's Frankie the Snitch."
"Doesn't mean you have to typecast me," he pouted, "Fine, what do you want to know?"
"Word is some Russian nukes have been coming into the city lately, I want to know who's buying them and what for!"
"I see," Frankie the Snitch said, "Well, that'll cost ya."
Herb sighed and pulled out two tickets, "Do you know how hard it was to get these?"
"Your breaking my heart, now hand them over," he demanded.
"First the 411," Herb said, moving the tickets away from him.
"I don't know, some kook's been stockpiling nukes for a while," Frankie told him, "I don't know what for but I seen a lot of them come in by the docks."
Herb smiled and handed him one ticket, "Is there a shipment coming in tonight?"
"Probably," Frankie said, "They've been coming in every day lately."
"Thanks," Herb said, giving him the other ticket, "Enjoy the musical."
"Shh!' Frankie hissed, "I gotta keep my rep around here, "Is it the one with Liza Minelli?"
"Is there any other?"
As Frankie moved to leave, Herb heard something and saw a shadow hiding in an alley.
"Don't move, Frankie," Herb advised quietly, advancing slowly to the alley. He pulled out his mustard gun and jumped in front of the alley, "Freeze, slime!"
Herb faced down a pretty young woman with his mustard gun as the pretty young woman faced him down with her gun.
"I don't think a gun that shoots out mustard will be much of a match for a gun that shoots out real bullets," she said.
"Are there real bullets in that gun?" he asked.
Her face dropped, "Well...no, they don't trust me with real bullets yet," she said embarrassed.
"Who? Who sent you?" he asked.
"NO ONE," she said, walking out of the alley.
"Then why are you here?" he asked, "What do you want?"
"To help, that's why NO ONE sent me," she told him.
"If no one sent you then why do you want to help me?" he asked confused.
"Because that's what I'm supposed to do," she said, "I work for NO ONE."
"What does your working for no one have to do with helping me?"
"NO ONE is helping you!"
"I thought you were supposed to help me?!"
"I am, with NO ONE!"
"Are you supposed to be with someone?!"
"No!" she shouted, frustrated, "They sent me alone!"
"You're not making any sense!"
"Hey kids," Frankie interrupted, "If you're done ripping off Abbot and Costello, can I go now?"
"Yeah, get out of here, Frankie," Herb said, "Thanks for the what's what."
"Just go!" Herb turned back to the girl, "Okay," he said slowly, "Let's start from the beginning. Who are you?"
"Blond. Jane Blond."
"Riiiight," Herb said unconvinced, "Okay, of course. Let me guess, you're a secret agent."
"Yes," she said, "And I've been sent to help you with the Sanvich case. What'd you get from that guy?"
"I found out that there's a shipment of nuclear warheads coming into port tonight," Herb told her, "I'll be there to intercept."
"So will I," she said, "What about your partner, Captain Weenie?"
"He's otherwise occupied," Herb said, "I'll be handling this case myself."
"Correction," Jane said, "You'll be handling it with me...and NO ONE of course."
Herb was about to say something but shook his head and decided against it.
"Why am I dressed like this?" Herb asked, looking at his pirate costume disapprovingly.
"We can't have you gallivanting around in that bright yellow costume," she said, "You'll look ridiculous."
"Right and you blend right in," he said, looking at her first-mate costume, "It's hard to see with this eyepatch on," he said, shifting it from his left eye.
"Oh just grin and bear it, Herb!" Jane snapped, "Okay, I see them coming, let's get on that boat and find those warheads and whoever's in charge."
They picked up crates and boarded the ship, joining the other men.
"What a minute," the ship captain said, "Who are you two?" he asked, stopping Herb and Jane.
"I'm Blond, Jane Blond," she said, "Just a regular sea dog trying to make a couple of bucks. This is my partner," she turned to Herb, "Uh...Long Johns...Osh Kosh B'gosh Beard...IV."
Herb shook his head; her idiocy was alarmingly reminiscent of someone else.
"Why are you loading the ship, we're unloading it," the captain told them.
"Oh, right," Herb said, dropping the crate, "We knew that."
"You sure you can do it with that peg leg?" the captain asked Herb.
"He's sturdier than he seems," Jane piped in, "After the accident, Long Johns here, hasn't been the same. I mean, after his obsessive quest chasing that darned white whale and then being separated from his homeland for 20 years having to bear the wrath of the gods with those cyclopses and all and then ending up on an island with all these little people where he was the size of the tallest mountains and then-"
"I think he gets the point, Jane!" Herb shouted, shutting her up, "It's easier than it look," he said to the captain, uneasily, "So uh...what are we unloading tonight? More nukes?"
"You got it," the captain said, "The truck coming to pick it up should be here soon, just get it off the ship."
"Right oh," Jane said, heading down to the lower deck.
"What is wrong with you?!" Herb hissed as they stopped in a dark part of the ship, "Are you trying to get us caught."
"I panicked!" she shot back, "So sue me! This is my first case okay?"
"Let's just lay low until the truck gets here, then we can follow it straight to the boss of this operation," he said, looking around, "Hey, where's the shipment?"
"Where are we, for that matter?" Jane asked confused.
Suddenly all the doors locked and it became pitch black.
"This doesn't look good," Herb said.
"Do you honestly think we bought that cheap story?" the ship captain said from above, "I hope you enjoy the trip."
The ship started to move.
"Where are you taking us?!" Jane shouted.
"Don't worry, you won't live to reach your destination," he said.
They heard something growl.
"What was that? Please say it was your stomach," Jane said fearfully.
Herb pulled out his flashlight and shone it around the room until it landed on a massive size man dressed like sumo wrestler.
"Let me guess," Herb said rolling his eyes, "Uh...Abnormal Profession? Chunky Orphan? Big Baby? Could we delve into any more possible clichés?!"
"Sumo-nami! Get them!" the captain shouted, before leaving.
Sumo-nami lunged at them and they ran out of the way.
"Okay, well uh...one of us is going to have to face him," Jane said.
"Right," Jane said, "No."
Herb sighed, "Fine," he took off his peg leg, "Come and get me fatty, I've got a Snickers bar in my pocket!"
Sumo-nami pounced on him, and Herb ran under his legs and kicked him in the behind.
"Ondele, ondele!" he shouted, taunting the mammoth monster, "Arriba! Hola! Puedo ir al bano por favor!"
Jane looked at him questioningly.
He shrugged, "I take French!"
As he moved his eyepatch to get a better look, Sumo-nami rammed into him, slamming him against the wall. He heard it crack as he slumped down to the floor, but he wasn't sure that was the wall or his back.
"I think you just fixed my chiropractic problems," he joked weakly as he tried to get up.
Hmm, he thought as he saw the wall breaking, Maybe there's a way out of this yet.
He got up, "Okay, Brando, no more Mr. Nice Long Johns Osh Kosh B'gosh Beard!"
"The fourth!" Jane reminded.
Sumo-nami ran at him and at the last minute, Herb ducked and the giant giant hit the deck as Jane and Herb "hit the deck", laying low as the wall crashed when Sumo-nami broke it, falling through into the water.
"Let's hope he can swim," Herb said, looking out the large hole, "Because he sure ain't gonna float!"
Back at the docks...
"Great," Herb complained, helping Jane out of the water, "Now we've lost the truck and our only lead."
"Not quite," Jane said, walking over to some tire tracks, "Look at these."
"Hmm," he inspected the tracks, "There's some sort of residue," he said, rubbing the dirt between his fingers, "Looks like-"
"Rotten milk," Jane said, wrinkling her nose.
"No," he said, sniffing the substance, "Curds. Curds and whey."
Racing through the streets of Roquefort...
"Nice car," Jane commented, feeling the leather interior of the Weenie Wagon, "What? No cupholders?"
"We took them out since Captain Weenie always spills juice on the controls," Herb explained.
"So what are we looking for?" Jane asked.
"Computer, locate all cheese manufacturing companies in Roquefort," Herb said.
The internal gizmos of the computer whirled until it spat out a list on the screen.
"Narrow the list down to companies that are no longer in business but produced only moist cheese," Herb continued.
"Moist cheese?" Jane asked confused, "Don't tell me...you don't think...it can't be him?! Can it?"
M. Rella's Cheese Inc...
"Yes, my beautiful nuclear warheads," the Moist Cheese Man shouted with joy, "Put them in with the rest. The big day is almost here! Dr. Sanvich? Sanvich!"
"What is it now?!" the doctor shouted, coming out of the room.
"Is everything ready, Dr.?" the MCM asked eagerly.
"Your death device is prepared, you sick evil moist maniac!" she spat.
"A simple 'yes' will do just fine in the future," he said annoyed, "Now get in the truck, we're ready to leave."
"You said that you would let me go once I was done!" she protested.
"Yes, I lied," he said simply, "It's what I do. Lie and try to destroy the world. I'm a simple cheese man who leads a simple cheesy life. Now get in the truck!"
As the physicist was hustled into the truck, the MCM looked around.
"Remember this day, world," he said sinisterly, "For it will be your last!"
"I thought tomorrow was going to be the last, boss?" one of his men asked.
"Well...it will be, but I meant that today would be the last without a tomorrow."
"Why didn't you just say that?"
"I...it was...why do you always have to second guess everything I do?!" he cried upset, "God, I'm never good enough for you, am I?!" he ran into the truck.
Jane crashed through the window of the factory, landing on the floor and whipping out her gun, "Nobody move!"
Herb walked in through the unlocked door, "That should be easy," he said looking around, "Seeing how no one is here!"
"They are?!" she asked, "I don't see them, where?!"
Herb looked at her strangely, "Everyone's gone. I guess we showed up too late."
Suddenly they heard something stir and turned to see a man trying to escape. Herb quickly retaliated with a rope Weenerang, tying it around his legs and taking him down.
"What do we have here?" Jane asked, walking over to the man, "Okay scumbucket!" she shouted, picking him up, "Where's the Cheese Man?"
"I ain't talking lady!"
"Seriously?" she asked disappointed.
"Most likely," he told her truthfully.
"Oh give him to me!" Herb said annoyed, grabbing the guy, "Listen up, jerk! You're going to tell us what we need to know or else!"
"You're not going to kill him are you Herb?" Jane asked, her eyes wide, "I thought you didn't kill people? Didn't you say you just bluffed so that they could give you information?"
Herb rolled his eyes, "Thanks a lot!"
"Haha," the man said, shrugging Herb off, "You can't hurt me!"
"Doesn't matter," Herb said, "Your eyes already told me everything I need to know. I know that the Moist Cheese Man's at the hos-trai-air-high-may-pol-ware-pe-"
The man's eye's widened with panic as Herb got to "pe-".
Herb picked up on it, "He's at the pe! The pequo-, petri-, peco-peak?"
"How'd you figure that out?!" the man asked astonished.
"It's a superhero thing," he said proudly, "Now what peak?"
"I ain't saying a thing!"
"How many mountains are there in Roquefort?" Jane asked Herb.
"Not many," he said, "We can find it on our own," he said, handcuffing the man, "This slime's going to the slimmer-I mean-slammer!"
Driving carefully through the streets of Roquefort...
"So now what?" Jane asked, "We know the MCM's at a peak, but which one?"
"Computer," Herb said, "Cross reference all newspapers articles involving cheese with mountain peaks."
"No information," Jane said disappointedly, reading the screen, "Now what are we going to do?"
"Wait!" Herb said, "Check this out! There's an article about the solar eclipse tomorrow."
"It says here that practically the whole town is going to be gathering at Provolone Peak, the highest point in Roquefort and the best place to view the eclipse."
"The whole town in one place," Jane said, "That sounds like a perfect opportunity for a maniacal genius like the Moist Cheese Man to execute his evil plot."
"He's not a genius."
"The Moist Cheese Man," Herb said, "He's not really a genius. He was a B student in high school and got an 1130 on his SATs. We don't consider him in the evil genius category of villains. We just call him crazy!"
"Well I'll call him Carol," Jane said angrily, "And beat the living daylights out of him!"
Herb looked at her.
"What?" she asked.
He shook his head, "Nothing, you remind me of someone, that's all."
"Excuse us, very rich and important people coming through," Mrs. Hart said as the Harts pushed people gathered on top of the peak aside to get to the front, "We need to see the eclipse first."
"What are you talking about, Mrs. Hart?" Mayor Montgomery Jack said, "We'll all see the eclipse at the same time."
"What?!" Mr. Hart exclaimed, "Well isn't there some way we can get access to this eclipse before everyone else, thereby reinforcing our superiority over the rest of the townspeople?"
"Uh...noooo," Mayor Jack said, "Sorry."
"Move it, pops," a rude voice said, shoving the mayor aside.
Mayor Jack and others moved out of the way as an odd looking boy, wearing a heavy trench coat and sunglasses made his way towards the top point of the peak as he led an odd procession of men in black clothes and a middle-aged woman in a lab coat.
"Who are they?" Mrs. Hart asked strangely, eyeing the weird group.
"I have no idea."
Meanwhile, the strange selection of silent...uh, strangers merely stood there, waiting.
"Soon," the boy in the coat and sunglasses mumbled under his breath, "As soon as the eclipse starts, I will launch the nuclear rockets into the sun and blanket this world in darkness forever. Muwahahahahaha!"
"I wouldn't laugh too soon, stranger!" a voice called out, "Or should I say, Moist Cheese Man!"
The boy turned to see Herb and some unknown girl standing at the peak.
"Noooo!" he shouted, ripping off his trench coat and sunglasses, revealing his true identity.
"It's the Moist Cheese Man!" someone in the crowd called out, sending the crowd into a frenzy, "Run!"
The people scattered about, running into each other and falling to the ground as the Moist Cheese Man's men restrained them, keeping them on the peak.
"No one's going anywhere!" the MCM shouted, pulling out his limburger gas gun, "You are all going to be here to witness the death of the sun!"
A horrified gasp rippled through the crowd.
"Not if I can stop it, Cheesy!" Herb shouted, lunging at one of his thugs.
A vicious battle ensued between Herb and Jane versus the Moist Cheese Man and his thugs. Herb flung his foes both far and frequently, forgetting that the eclipse was soon approaching as the MCM slipped away to unveil his deadly device.
"Where do you think you're going, Cheese Man?" Jane asked, pointing the gun at him, "Unless you want to have more holes than Swiss cheese, I suggest you step away from that machine."
"You're not going to shoot me are you?" the MCM asked, holding up his hands.
"Well I don't actually have any bullets in here," Jane admitted sheepishly, "It's just here for-Ahh!"
Herb turned at the sound of the scream.
"You! Boy in the mustard bottle costume!" Dr. Ivana Sanvich called out to him.
"It's Herb ma'am," he snapped, "I don't call you, 'You! Old lady in the white coat!' Do I?"
"Who you calling old, sonny?!" she shouted, "Forget it! You have to stop the Moist Cheese Man before he activates the machine once the eclipse starts."
Herb looked over to the giant machine and ran towards it.
"Not another step, Herbie!" the MCM said, stepping out in front of the machine, "Or your little friend here gets it!" He pulled out Jane, holding a gun to her head.
Herb immediately backed off. The eclipse had begun and the peak was slowly being covered in the darkness of a midday night.
"Don't do anything rash, Eugene," Herb said calmly.
"I'm going to blow up the sun, man!" the MCM shouted, "What could be more rash than that?! Now back away and don't call me Eugene!"
As Herb backed away, the Moist Cheese Man walked towards the machine, preparing to activate it. The countdown sequence began as it positioned itself towards the sun.
"Eugene, stop this before it gets out of hand, you don't realize-"
"I said, don't call me Eugene!" he shouted angrily.
Jane took the opportunity and grabbed his arm he had wrapped around her neck, swinging herself up and kicked him in the face. Once she was free, she delivered a swift kick to his side and jabbed him in the stomach. Herb ran towards them. The Moist Cheese Man fell backwards, knocking his machine over and both he and the machine fell over the mountain peak. Jane quickly grabbed the Moist Cheese Man's hand and held him from plummeting to his demise while Herb dived after the machine. He landed on it as it descended down the mountain.
If this thing hits the ground activated, it'll cause a nuclear meltdown!
Herb pulled out his Weenie Code Cracker from his belt and figured out the deactivation code for the machine. He quickly deactivated the device and jumped off before it landed. While back on the peak, Jane and the rest shielded themselves from blast.
"Eugene Pickenlook," Jane said in a very orderly fashion, "By order of NO ONE, you are under arrest."
"You have no authority to arrest me!" he protested.
"Yes I do! I have NO ONE's authority."
"Exactly!" Jane agreed.
"Why do I still feel like we're not on the same page?" the MCM asked.
"Oh who cares, you're going to jail buddy!" she said, pushing him to the ground.
"My machine. My plan," the Moist Cheese Man said dejectedly, "All ruined, all destroyed. Why? Why?!"
"Well, when you think about it," Jane said, "It wasn't a very practical idea, blowing up the sun and all. I mean, sure, you'd get some kicks from the idea that you, you know, blew up the main source of life for everything living thing on this planet, but we both know it really wasn't going to work out don't we, I mean, they never do."
The Moist Cheese Man looked at her with a new sense of clarity and logic, "I guess you're right. Crime really doesn't pay. I should know, I'm broke and live in my mother's basement. Maybe I'll give up this life of wrong-doing and-"
"Alright you cheese-eating, sun-hating scumbag!" a police officer yelled, grabbing the Moist Cheese Man roughly, "We're taking you back to the Nuthouse!"
Almost immediately his old persona came back. "Ha! You fools, that hovel you call a rehabilitation center can't hold the Moist Cheese Man!" he ranted maniacally as they hustled him into a squad car.
Jane shook her head as she watched him go.
"Looks like everything worked out fine here," Herb said from behind her.
"Herb!" she exclaimed, running to him and throwing her arms around him, "You're okay!"
"Uh...yeah," he said, a little uncomfortably, "I'm not dead, and only possibly radioactive."
"Oh," she said, immediately backing away, "Good...good for you."
"Thank you, you two," Dr. Sanvich said, walking over to them, "You just saved the world."
"Who are you?" Herb asked.
"Tuna or peanut butter and jelly?" Jane asked before breaking out into a fit of laughter.
Both Dr. Sanvich and Herb rolled their eyes.
"Well," Herb said pointedly, "I'm glad you're safe and sound, Dr. Oh, and sorry about that 'old lady' crack." He chuckled sheepishly.
"No harm taken," she said smiling. As she walked away, she kicked him in the shin.
"Ow! Not cool!" he said, rubbing his bruised leg.
Roquefort International Airport...
Herb and Jane watched as Dr. Sanvich got on a plane back to Lithuania and were surprised to see Richard Wrath get off.
"Good work kids," he said, walking up to them, "We really didn't think you two would manage to take down the Moist Cheese Man and get out alive."
Herb looked at him oddly, "Uh...thanks, I guess."
"Well, Ashely and I are going to accompany Dr. Sanvich back to Lithuania. Herb," he shook Herb's hand, "Your country and the world thanks you." He headed for the plane.
Herb looked puzzled, "Ashley?" he turned to "Jane".
"Oh right, Jane Blond isn't my real name," she said breezily, "Just one of the many personas I use...well it's the only persona I use, but I'll have more soon."
"I knew it was fake the whole time," he admitted, "You know, you came off as a goof-off the whole time we worked together. You even reminded me of Captain Weenie but at the last minute, you really came through with those martial arts moves of yours."
"Really?" she looked pleased.
"Yeah," he said smiling, "With the way you fight, it doesn't matter whether or not your gun has bullets or not."
She looked down, blushing.
"But next time, if you are going to use a gun, make sure it has bullets or else just scrap it altogether."
"I'll take that advice," she said, "Maybe next time, I'll take down the 2-ton sumo wrestler."
"Oh trust me, there won't be a next time," Herb said, walking away, "There definitely won't be a next time," he stopped and smiled, "But if there is. I'll see you around."
Ashley smiled as she watched him walk away, "Yeah. See you around."