I hate you for lying to me

And I hate you for being honest.

I hate you for being so perfect for me

And for being so bad to me.

I hate you for loving her

And I hate you for liking me.

I hate you for everything you saw in me

And I hate everything in me that made you turn away.

I hate you for every flip my stomach turned when you walked

Into the room

And I hate you for every minute I spent faking up and making up

In the bathroom, trying to get your stomach to flip too.

I hate you for every wasted minute

For every ruined outfit

For every broken promise.

I hate your wishes, your hopes, and your dreams.

I hate the lies you told yourself

About the person you want to be

About the person you want at your side.

I hate that you want a "nice girl"

When you're too blind to see what a "nice girl" is.

I hate that you want to take someone else

To something that means so much to me.

I hate that you kept me waiting,

Only to let me drop a thousand or more stories.

I hate that I'm still falling.

I hate you for your good nature

Your charismatic eyes

And your whispering intellect.

I hate you for your poems

The words that I crooned again and again

Instilling some sort of hope or promise in me.

I hate the one you wrote specifically for me.

I hate you for all the secrets I trusted you with

And the paltry few that you confided in me.

I hate you for your voice and the inflections of it

Every time you laughed at one of my jokes.

I hate you for not approving of me.

For thinking that I'm not enough.

Especially if I'm not.

I hate you for thinking you'd be settling.

I hate you for thinking you can to better.

Which you can't.

I hate you for flirting and for thinking

That I wouldn't care, that I wouldn't mind

I hate you for not thinking of me at all.

I hate you for every smile you cast

For every shy attempt at conversation that got stricken down

I hate you for your temper and your hypocrisy

One of which I still doubt the existence of.

I hate you for the CDs which I can no longer listen to.

I hate you for the kind words that made all of

My problems dissipate.

I hate you for making me cry

And I hate how I could never let my tears fall

In your presence.

I hate you for asking if we could be friends

When my heart was shredding to bits.

I hate every time I went to you

And how weak you thought it made me.

I hate your commitments and how they interfere.

I hate that I can see so much of me in you.

I hate you for making me hate you.

But most of all, I hate hating you.