Scene: Fast food place. A CUSTOMER walks in and goes up to the counter.

Cashier: (slightly bored tone) Welcome to Chicken Lord. May I take your order?

Customer: Yes. I'd like a chicken sandwich, please, and a coke.

Cashier: That'll be $1.50. (CUSTOMER gives CASHIER the money. CASHIER leaves briefly, returns with a Chicken Sandwich and a coke on a tray.)

Cashier: (cont.) Now cluck.

Customer: (Indignant) Cluck?!

Cashier: You didn't think I'd let you off without clucking, did you?

Customer: Frankly, I did. (Impatiently) Now, can I have my food, please?

Cashier: Not until you cluck.

Customer: Fine. Here you go! (Gives a feeble "Cluck")

Cashier: What? You call that a cluck? I don't know about you, man, but around here, we cluck like this. (Gives a loud, powerful "CLUCK!" that causes several of the other customer's heads to turn.)

Customer: (Gives another pitiful "cluck".)

Cashier: Come on you chicken! Make a real cluck!

Customer: You know what? Just forget it. I think I'll have a milkshake.

Cashier: (Plunks down milkshake on the tray) Now moo.

Customer: You're kidding me.

Cashier: Nope. You're not weaseling your way out of this one.

Customer: I'm getting your manager. This is absolutely ridiculous. (Leaning over the counter and shouting.) Excuse me! I'd like to speak the manager!

(ENTER: MANAGER. He is wearing a grubby, bloodstained butcher's uniform)

Manager: (Noisily wiping his nose) Yeh? Wassa problem, 'ere?

Customer: (Distastefully) Your employee, sir, is trying to get me to make embarrassing animal noises in order to get my food.

Manager: Yeh? And?

Customer: (Gives a disbelieving laugh, speaking hysterically.) What do you mean, and? This is totally unnecessary, and it's demeaning!

Manager: (Stupidly) It's what now?

Customer: It's embarrassing.

Manager: Nothin' I can do about it. Tough luck, man. (At this, CUSTOMER'S mouth drops about five feet. MANAGER exits)

Customer: Unbelievable!

Cashier: So, sir, what's it gonna be? You gonna cluck, or moo, or what?

Customer: Of course not! Incidentally, why was your manager, um, dressed like that? (A loud, fearful "CLUCK!" comes from the kitchen. There is a sound of a knife chopping.)

Cashier: That's why.

Customer: Oh…um…Look, perhaps I'd better just not order anything at all.

Cashier: (Angrily) Fine! Sure! Just leave, then! Right! Whatever YOU want!

(CUSTOMER opens the door and leaves)

Cashier: Oh! Thanks for coming to Chicken Lord! Come back again!

-End Scene-