SCENE: A Newsroom. Theme music plays in the background as lights come up on a newscaster, shuffling through her notes.

Newscaster: Good evening and welcome to the six 'o clock news. Tonight we have a very heartwarming story about cheese. Brian Listerine has more.

(Cut to news crew on location)

Brian: Hello. This evening we bring you the story of the undying love between a man… and his provolone cheese log.

(Cut to picture of a refrigerator)

Brian: (continued) It was like any other day in the life of Percy Meterstick. He went to the refrigerator to have some cheese. Then…disaster struck.

(Cut to Brian interviewing Percy Meterstick)

Brian: And what had happened to your cheese?

Percy: (sobbing quietly) It was…moldy!

Brian: (Cut to picture of a moldy bit of cheese) Yes. Poor Percy's precious provolone had molded. The mold was too serious to call for emergency assistance. It was time for action. (Cut back to the interview)

Brian: So, what did you have to do?

Percy: (quietly) I had to…cut off the mold.

Brian: (sympathetically) I see. And was it hard for you, being so attached to your cheese, and having no surgical experience whatsoever?

Percy: It was. I tried my best, and…well, my cheese is all right now. (Cut to cheese log. It is bandaged, sitting on a plate on a stool next to Percy. It has a band-aid on one pats his cheese fondly)

Brian: (turns to camera) And there you have it. A beautiful story about bravery, bacteria, and a man's undying love for dairy products. Back to you, in the studio, Patricia.

Patricia: Thank you, Brian Listerine, for that amazing story. We'll be back in a moment with weather. (final shot shows entire studio as the station goes to an ad break)