What happens when you love someone so dearly, you can't admit they're gone after they die? It hurts so much that you go insane. You can't believe they would leave you, just like that. I tried to write about it after being inspired one night by a song by Evanescence. I've lost people dear to me, and I've seen all sorts of reactions to it, so I know the pain, but I just hope Im able to capture it in this story. Tell me what you think.

I pranced about my room, getting ready an hour earlier than when Jared was supposed to arrive. I turned on the stereo and punk rock blasted out. I went to my cupboard and began pulling out the outfit I had reserved for today. It was a black and pink tank top that had a cute little picture of a puppy surrounded by glitters and black jeans that flattered my hips. I had ironed them last night so they lay perfectly there on my bed as I lined them up. I took out my lucky underwear and laid that out too. Then I grabbed a towel, threw off my house clothes and hurried into the shower. I took about half an hour in the shower, shampooing my hair twice and scrubbing myself as hard as I could. I wanted to look my best. I got out of the tub, wrapped myself in a towel, and went back to my room, slowing down the AC a bit since it was pretty cold. I dried my hair properly, wore my clothes, splashed on enough perfume that would last the night and began sorting through my accessories. I finally pulled out red and black jelly bracelets, a silver bracelet with a bear and a heart hanging from it which Jared himself gave me, and a necklace that had a pendant of a guitar and a pink heart, the guitar given to me by Jared too. I looked at myself in the mirror and shrugged. I didn't really know how to judge myself. I was the punk chic, not much into appearance and Jared knew that and said he loved that about me. Today was just one of those special days wherein I liked to take some time and effort in preparing myself. Want to know why?

It is our third anniversary, that's why. Yup, Jared and I have been going out for three years. Incredible, huh? We've had our ups and downs too, once even a point wherein we were at the brink of breaking up and hating each other forever, but we were able to pull back from that edge. That's one of the reasons I love him. He forgets the past.

He promised me something special tonight. I don't know why, but he said he wanted something different this year. Not just the usual movie with dinner or something like that. I told him that I didn't want him to spend too much but he insisted so here I am, preparing for it. I glance at the clock. I've still got an hour. I pull on my socks and set my black Converse by the door, ready to be worn the moment the bell rings. I brushed my hair a bit more and tried tying it up, but then let it down in the end. Anyway, Jared liked my hair down so he could touch it without me screaming that it will all get ruined. Not that I do, but he feels that way. I plunk down on my bed, unsure of what to do next. Maybe about twenty minutes later, my phone beeps and I pick it up. It's a message from Jared:

Hey love, you ready yet?

I reply back instantly:

I have been ready for half an hour, Jay!

Yeah, I call him Jay when Im too lazy to say his whole name. I mean, yeah I like Jared, it's a cool name and unique too, but it's kinda long to be saying all the time, right? So, just the initial, Jay. Stupid, I know, but he doesn't mind. My phone beeps once more:

So, I can pick you up now?

Yeah, sure.

Suddenly, my heart skips a beat. I realize Im nervous. I shake my head. Nervous? We have been going out for three years now! I can't be nervous! I'm just excited. Yeah, there!

I pull on my Converse, stuff my wallet in the back of my jeans (I'm not the handbag kind of girl) and head out of my room. I slide down the banister of the stairs and meet my mom in the living room.

"Hey honey. Jared's coming already?" she asks. I love my mom. She is totally cool about me having a boyfriend and really supportive too. She trusts me and likes Jared too, so I have no problem going out on dates.

"Yeah. Ma, how do I look?" I ask her, standing in front of her and blocking the TV from her view. She looks at me, up and down, and then gives me smile.

"Beautiful and boyish, as always," well, that's a really big compliment for me. I hug her and fall down on the sofa beside her.

"I can't believe my baby has had a boyfriend for three years now. I never lasted that long when I was in high school!" Mom remarks.

"You never found the right guy. I guess I have," I say, my voice getting the way it does every time I talk about Jared seriously. You know, all dreamy and stuff. I don't like it. I feel totally girly. But hey, that's love.

"And I hope and pray that he will remain the way he is, and that my Krystal remains forever happy," my mom says. I look at her and I see tears in her eyes. I smile at her and she smiles back.

Mom lost Dad when I was seven. They got divorced because she caught dad cheating on her. I don't remember much, but I remember clearly the court trial they had to decide who I would end up with. I didn't want to stay with a man who betrayed my mom, so the court took my word for it. I saw the look on my dad's face when I said that, and it was hurt, but I didn't care. I hate him.

The doorbell rings and brings me out of my reverie. My mom wipes her tears and pushes me to go get the door. So I get up and head out of the living room and into the hallway. I unlock the door; take a deep breath and open.

A/N: oooh a cliffie! Lol

I was kind of hesitating putting this story on fictionpress coz Im not quite sure how to go on with it but I've got a few chapters ready and after reading those, you guys can help me decide what to do next! I can depend on you guys right? Aww come on!

I know there might be a few grammatical and spelling errors here and there and I've tried to iron them out but a few always escape! And my tenses are a bit messed up too, I know… I haven't got the hang of a first person story yet. Lol ill do my best not to let them appear next chapter! People review and let me know what you think please!