Go For It

By Erin Hill

"No, you look much better in that dress than you would in a vacuum cleaner bag. Anyway, do you want to get married?"

Reagan looked herself over in the mirror. A forlorn-looking young woman wearing a yellow bridesmaid's dress looked back at her. Her makeup was done perfectly, she had not a hair out of place. She was about to be in her best friend's wedding. She should have been happy.

Reagan sighed, and sat down on the sofa in the small church basement room where she, the other bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer, and Lauren, the bride had gathered. Reagan looked over at Lauren. This was the bride, but Lauren was by no means Reagan's best friend. Raegan's best friend was Jay, the groom. In fact, Raegan hated the woman her best friend was going to marry in less than an hour. Lauren was, to put it bluntly, a bitch. She was absurdly jealous of the brother-sister relationship that Raegan and Jay had. She manipulated Jay and verbally abused Raegan, who now found herself wondering why she had bothered to talk Jay into that show anyway. All it got her was here, in this church basement, dreading the marriage of her best friend.

A knock came at the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Robin."

Raegan ran out into the hallway to talk to her beloved older sister.

"Hey kid."

"Hey yourself, Grandma."

"Now, now Raegan, I'm only pregnant with the second one."

"But you only have…wait, what did you say?"

Robin nodded. "I'm two and a half months pregnant, Rae."

Raegan hugged her sister. "Congrats, Robin. I hope it's a girl this time."

Robin rolled her eyes. "So how are you taking this? Must be hard on you."

"Robin, we've been through this before. He loves her. He's going to marry her. The way I feel about this has nothing to do with it."

"Raegan, I wish I was as strong as you are. Well, I've got to go sit my big pregnant body upstairs. Good luck, sis. If worst comes to worst, you can make a rude noise during the vows."

Raegan laughed as she opened the door back into the room, as Robin headed up the stairs to the sanctuary. "There is that, I guess. See you later."

"Raegan. Com'ere." The voice was Jay's.

"Jay! Shouldn't you be…?"

"No. I can't, Rae. I don't love her."

"Don't worry about wedding jitters, Jay. Everyone has them."

"No. These aren't wedding jitters. I really don't love her. I love someone else."

"Go for it. I'll be watching."

"Okay. Thanks, Rae. Oh, by the way, you look great."

Raegan felt her cheeks warm up. He couldn't…No. It wasn't possible.

"Well, I'll see you later, Jay. Good luck with the…thing."

He squeezed her hand. "Thanks, Rae."

He turned and left. Raegan opened the door and went back into the "waiting room." Suddenly, she couldn't control her heartbeat. She felt sweat trickle down her back. She closed her eyes, and took the bouquet handed to her.

"Time to go."

The bridal party went upstairs for the ceremony. The processional started, and went off without a glitch. As Raegan slowly walked up the aisle in front of Lauren, she couldn't help noticing how Jay's eyes flickered between her and Lauren. Odd.

Lauren reached the altar, and smiled at Jay, who didn't smile back. The old bishop performing the ceremony started to speak.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocence, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee; and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained. First, It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name. Secondly, It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ's body. Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man can show any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace."

There was a brief pause.

"I require and charge you both, as you will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why you may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, now confess it. For be you well assured, that so many as are coupled together otherwise than God's Word doth allow are not joined together by God; neither is their Matrimony lawful."

Say something, Jay, Raegan prayed silently. She saw Jay take a deep breath and step forward.

"I must speak."

The bishop nodded, and Lauren looked shocked.

"Lauren, I do not love you. Going on that show as the bachelor was the second worst mistake I've ever made, and is closely related the worst mistake I've ever made. That mistake was being blind. Being so blind that I refused to see that I already loved someone else. Someone who has supported me through everything I've ever done, who has been my rock for all of my twenty-four years on this earth. She is here today, and must have been heartbroken. All I can say is that I hope she forgives me for all the mistakes I've ever made, and that I forgive her for talking me into going on the show."

Raegan's breath caught in her throat. She closed her eyes briefly, and opened them to find Jay looking at her.

"Raegan," he said softly, "can you forgive me for being such a butthead, as you said in third grade when I stole your Barbie?"

Raegan managed a small smile. "Jay," she breathed, "I—you—we—but…"

Jay's smile grew as she slowly stepped forward from the line of bridesmaids and into his waiting arms. He hugged her close, resolving that he would never let her go again. Raegan blinked back tears as Jay slowly loosened his grip on her. The church was silent. Finally, one clap came from the third row on the groom's side of the church. Raegan looked over to where Robin was standing next to her husband, who was holding their son. Robin was grinning ear to ear.

Jay whispered in Raegan's ear. "Wanna get married?"

"Jay…it didn't have to be like this. I love you, you didn't have to."

Jay nodded vigorously. "Yes I did."

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

"Just remember who said it first."

Raegan felt her heart swell with love and Jay kissed her. She heard Robin start furiously clapping in the background somewhere.

"So. Do you want to get married, Rae?"

"Jay…I don't know. I feel so unprepared. I'm wearing yellow, for crying out loud!"

"I really don't care, Rae. I'll love you no matter what you wear. Heck, I'd still love you if you had shown up wearing a vacuum cleaner bag. Besides, yellow always has been your best color."

Raegan couldn't help but laugh. "But I'm not wearing a vacuum cleaner bag, now, am I?"

"No, you look much better in that dress than you would in a vacuum cleaner bag. Anyway, do you want to get married?"

Raegan gave Jay a quick kiss on the nose, and hugged him. "Sure."

"Let's go for it. That is what you said to me, right?"

Raegan kissed Jay again. "Absolutely."