Here it is for all of you that don't enjoy the deep themes or controversial atmosphere that is in all of my writing. A report on snacks, and everyone loves snacks. Almost as much love people have for pie. I was coming home from school one day, and I was rather hungry from a hard day of work at the ghetto school John Jay. Although I don't technically go to this dump, I must go, because the science and engineering academy is at Jay. I also usually raid the teachers lounge with my friend Russell Stevens also known to you on this site as the notorious "Philosophy101". On this particular day I didn't go on my siege, and I was forced to eat grass on my journey home. When I entered my home I was greeted by my older brother Nick.
He had eaten the last donut and devoured half the last piece of pie. I hated him even more, and I still have a small hate for him today. But when a person eats the last dessert in the house that does not have ANYTHING TO DO WITH RUM, you might freak out a little. You must put your foot down. I'm not fat or obese, or a tad on the heavy side. I am skinny, and I take my snacks seriously. Pie is my favorite thing to eat. I once had eaten so much pie I puked my guts out and had diarrhea for a couple of weeks. I knew I was going to be sick, but I ate every last bit of that blueberry pie anyway. It was that damn tasty. I ate 14 Dunken-Donuts in one setting. I am a serious person when it comes to snacks.
I don't care if you call me crazy, hell I don't care if you think I'm stupid that I had diarrhea from eating half of a pie. Popcorn is also a snack, but not a very good one to eat for long periods of time, so you might turn to candy. The flaw with candy is that it gets up into your teeth causing them to rot, and if you're over the age of 15 it looks kind of immature that your sinking your teeth into a piece of artificial flavored sugar. Candy bars however are not that far from causing cavities. Chips are ok, but are temporal and give off a nasty after taste. Some snacks are just wrong for you, but others you can enjoy with every last savor of your clear salvia. In my lifetime there have been 3 snacks that I would give my hat for, Pie, Cookies, and Donuts. These 3 are the main snacks I eat almost every week, but how did I come to this dramatic solution that Pie is the better snack. The Snack War was fought by some of the bravest pastries and cookies that have ever walked the face of the continent of Desert. Here is the bloody tale of the epic war between cookies and Pie.
The mighty pastry, a magnificent bakery good that has had the pleasure of being bestowed in my mouth. Although it is not pie, it is however as previously mentioned a baked good. Pastries in general have a broad variety within there population of what is the Pastry Nation. Yes I look at my snacks in every way as a specific society in which they live. Cookies are another interesting snack because of their form and chunk structure. They were my favorite snack for a long time. It was truly a force to be reckoned with. The Cookie Federation consisted of 18 cookie countries. There main goal was to overthrow the government of the Pasty Nation and use there manufacturing faculties to produce there snacks. A truly devious plan. The Pasty Nation consisted of 16 pastry countries. War was just around corner.
The Federation did not go into battle unprepared. No, it had its aerial support from the General Milk of the pacific air-snack-force. General Milk was a maestro when it came to winning battles that involved rash decisions and thinking up world renowned tactics. The Federation was like a white man in the trenches of the ghetto in south central Baltimore. But after a 10 year bombardment of the Cookie and Milk combo, the Federation had found a new strategic advantage that would reform the entire perspective of Snack Warfare for generations. General Milk had defected over to the Pastry Nation and his country from which he hailed from, Milksconsin, was a new close ally of the Republic. With General Milk's help the Republic was able to beat back the constant bombardment and take back the captured fortress of Fort Danish and win the battle of Blue Berry Muffin. The Pastry Nation would sweep the cookie federation with the shimmering gift of a god.
The war had gone on for 14 years, but a new researched weapon had arisen from the belly of the earth. The Federation of the Cookie was about to face a 2 front war. Pie had already gotten enough help from General Milk and his well trained Army and Airforce, but a small country off the coast of the Pastry Nation called vanilla ice-cream cap had established it- self as a comrade nation, and with the overthrowing of the feared dictator ,and major contributor to the Cookie Federation, known as Wallace. The country had established a constructional monarchy, and the first act of King Breyer was to immediately kill or destroy anything that is or was related to the Federation in any shape or form. A massive invasion was underway. The Cookie Federation and had risen 20 camps and 30 forts along the coastline and throughout the country controlling trade, economics, and troop movement. Although the ice cap had dealt a blow to the Federation it was not enough to bring the colossal demon down.
Almost all of the Ice-Caps resources were used during the invasion, so when the Federation attacked there was nothing the Ice-Caps military could do. The Federation had completely taken over the IC, and the ice-cream citizens had to make a last ditch effort and escape to the Republic by any means necessary. The Cookie Federation thought that victory was in there grasp, but a new found study that Pie soldiers worked very well with vanilla ice-cream soldiers. At the Battle of Mouth. The two forces mete for a 16min battle which the Republic had won, and after 14 years the Snack War was finely over, but massive deaths on both sides where mainly from unnecessary tough slapping and over chewing. After the climax of the war, the other countries, broke off. Oreo Pica was the last of the Federation, but the entire country was burn to the ground by the Kellogg Family.
That's how pie is the dominate snack. People must realize that General Milk defected not because of the corrupt organization that was running the war on the cookie side, but because he wanted something new, something he wanted more then the combo of cookies and milk. The fruit filling was a taste that could not be forgotten. It was intoxicating. General Milk was placed in the good pastry foundation and was a key asset in winning the war. He shall be missed.
But a new force was coming. Something that was never seen. Something that must have been missed over the years because of the constant fighting between the federation and the Republic. This new force had power no one had seen before and was the new threat to the entire Continent of Desert…...