I stand on the top of the Eiffel tower and look down at the city. I look over to where he is standing, and then look back. Gradually, and accidentally, he makes his way towards me. He is now standing next to me, the golden red sun lighting up his face as he solemnly looks on with interest.
This is it, I tell myself, the perfect moment to tell him.. I turn to him,
"There's something I need to tell you," They're only 3 words, but the hardest for me to say. Something chokes up in my throat and my knees buckle. "I-i-i- Lllll…" I struggle, then finally blurt out,
"I love you," a little louder than I meant to.
That monster that has been living inside me takes over, I pull him towards me, and kiss him. I pull back with an apologetic look on my face as the monster's crazy behavior wanes. I run out and go back down the elevator, breathing heavily and my head feels like it's going to explode. What have I done?
For the next 4 days, things are awkward between us. I can tell he is avoiding me, and truth be told, I to am avoiding him. We have already past Paris and are on our way to England. The bus stops in a rainy marsh during the late afternoon. The sun is covered by grey clouds and warm rain falls down on my face. Lilacs spot the gloomy looking fenland. I breath in the mild air of the rain hitting the fresh soil. I sit down on a rock not far from our resting spot to think. The scene on the tower haunts my thoughts and plays over and over like a broken record. I want to kill the idiot who won't take it off the player. I know that I shocked him and invaded his space. I tell myself he hates me for doing it. He will never want to see my face again, in fear of the memory of me kissing him against his own will. He will never want to hear my voice because of the fact that it reminds him of those three words I spilled out towards him.
I hear the bus door open and close but I don't look back. Someone comes to sit next to me. In my utter surprise, it's him. I wonder if she told him to sit next to me, just like she told him last year at the sunset.
We sit in complete silence until he shatters it."Could you tell me what happened the other day at the Eiffel Tower?"
I am shocked that he is so straightforward with his question. I was also very bothered at the tone.
"Well, I believe I confessed my feelings towards you," I said in an equally tart voice.
"Yeah, but why,"
"Listen, I'm sorry. I don't know what compelled me to kiss you. But I told you I love you… because I do,"
"No, it's just that, it was my first kiss," he looked down and kicked at the dirt.
"Yeah, same here, and I wanted to share mine with you… I'm sorry yours had to be with me." My whole body quivered. I bite my tongue to keep me from crying. I want to grab him and shake him and make him love me.
"I like you," he says. "You're a really good girl, but I just don't know about it,"
He stands up and walks away, leaving me defenseless to my emotions. I want to break down and scream to break the silence that painfully rings in my ears. I want to tear up the yellow flower that stares at me with cheerful ignorance. I want to make him love me the way I love him. I sigh. At least I can blame the tears on the rain and my red, puffy eyes on allergies.