Job Hunting

Kelly groaned in frustration. No matter how she tried, she couldn't answer the question in front of her. Now, don't get her wrong, she had quite a large intellect and did very well in school. She was an A B student with a majority of A's. She was a bit of an elitist, but that could be excused, right?

The one question that she could not answer was staring obnoxiously up at her. She took a deep breath, looking back at the rest of the questionnaire to see if she could stall for any longer. No such luck.

24) Describe yourself in a brief paragraph in the space provided.

This may seem like a simple question to you but to Kelly it was practically impossible. How in the world was she going to describe herself in that tiny little space? For her freshman beginning-of-the-year essay describing herself, it had been three pages long. The rest of the class barely filled half a page.

Okay, I can do this, she told herself. Just think.

I love to tell jokes. No, that sounds stupid. She promptly erased it.

Three things are most important to me. They are humor, intelligence, and… She was stuck. What else could she say? Wait, what about friends and family? But that was two things, and she would just sound stupid. Who puts the four most important things to them? Really.

But would anyone actually read this? Maybe she was getting worried over nothing. Wait, what was she thinking, of course someone would read it. It was job application, and this was probably the most important question. Now, she had to stand out. But everyone would put that friends and family were important. But she didn't want to seem like she didn't care about her family or that she didn't have any friends.

The three things most important to me are humor, hilarity, and more funny stuff. Now that would stand out. And to back up her first statement, examples.

The final paragraph read:

The three most important things to me are humor, hilarity, and funny stuff. Rarely a day goes by that I am not laughing my head off at others. I love my family, but then again, doesn't everyone love someone who will buy them things? I have many friends, though that may be due to the fact that I have the biggest house in town and buy the best gifts. Correction, my parents buy the best gifts. I must seem very spoiled. You should always trust first impressions. I am slightly judgmental. I read every book that has an interesting cover. I am well off. Self-explanatory. I am caring. My tiffany's jewelry has never had a smudge in four years. I am a very down to earth person. I am quite prone to tripping. If you are still not convinced that I am funny, please read the paragraph again. If there is still no little light bulb, give this to your superior. If they don't get it, you are working for an idiot. If no one in your entire group gets this, I don't want to work for you anyway. Thank you for your time and I hope you have a very nice day.

Kelly handed in the questionnaire with a smile. She didn't care if she just lost the job. There were still plenty of restaurants that needed waitresses in town. She just had the most fun in her entire life.